I look forward to the day when no Saturday Morning Hate Sex post will be necessary. When every Lady’s team finds themselves on the shiny happy end of the scoreboard, and no one’s star quarterback weeps. On ESPN. In primetime. In HD. (Attention, Mister Tebow: I, too, hit the waterworks when the battle goes ill for my boys. I am, however, A Girl, and not a Division I blue-chipper. Take it like a man: Bottle up your emotions until you snap years down the road in a series of unrelated incidents.)
Where was I? Right. In an orderly, usual season, we might have seen that day already. A day when the Ladies can kick back with a cocktail, bask in the glow of victory, and never once have to hiss, “Catch the GODDAMN BALL” at their television screens. But this is no kind of normal season, and it’s not even halfway over, and already we’re all carrying scars.
But no matter who prevails, we’re still coming out on top. Let’s get our healing on, after the jump.
For Metschick and her Scarlet Knights: Ben Mauk, QB, Cincinnati. 257 yards passing, 3 TD.
For Andrea and her Hawkeyes: Rodney Kinlaw, RB, Penn State. 168 yards rushing, 2 TDs.
For Texas Gal and her Longhorns: Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma. 257 yards passing, 3 TDs.
Here’s to no hate sex necessary next week. Cheers, everyone—enjoy the games.