Saturday Morning Hate Sex

I look forward to the day when no Saturday Morning Hate Sex post will be necessary. When every Lady’s team finds themselves on the shiny happy end of the scoreboard, and no one’s star quarterback weeps. On ESPN. In primetime. In HD. (Attention, Mister Tebow: I, too, hit the waterworks when the battle goes ill for my boys. I am, however, A Girl, and not a Division I blue-chipper. Take it like a man:  Bottle up your emotions until you snap years down the road in a series of unrelated incidents.)


Where was I? Right. In an orderly, usual season, we might have seen that day already. A day when the Ladies can kick back with a cocktail, bask in the glow of victory, and never once have to hiss, “Catch the GODDAMN BALL” at their television screens. But this is no kind of normal season, and it’s not even halfway over, and already we’re all carrying scars.

But no matter who prevails, we’re still coming out on top. Let’s get our healing on, after the jump.

For Metschick and her Scarlet Knights: Ben Mauk, QB, Cincinnati. 257 yards passing, 3 TD.


For Andrea and her Hawkeyes: Rodney Kinlaw, RB, Penn State. 168 yards rushing, 2 TDs.


For Texas Gal and her Longhorns: Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma. 257 yards passing, 3 TDs.


Here’s to no hate sex necessary next week. Cheers, everyone—enjoy the games.

17 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Hate Sex

  1. No hate sex for the Deacs this week, vanquishing the Seminoles and causing Bobby Bowden’s excess neck skin to shake with disapproval.

    Now I can focus my cheerin’ efforts on the other Ladies’ teams…

    Go Tenniowatexamichagers!

  2. It’s chilly here in the North East as well. I had to turn on the furnace. 60 might not seem so chilly, but it was 80 earlier this week.

    it’s not even halfway over, and already we’re all carrying scars. But no matter who prevails, we’re still coming out on top.

    I’d like to come out on top of Nakamura of the Bearcats. What? He’s hot and I have a thing for Asians.

  3. Wow, that was close. Finally Andrea is going to have a hate-sex free week :) Now so long as Tennessee doesn’t get Croomed it looks like Holly will get her wish.

  4. Well Texas , Michigan, and Rutgers were all winning big at the time and WVU has a bye. WVU gets their chance to be Croomed next week.

  5. Thank God it was Midnight Madness on Friday night, a reminder and that a season filled with wins is in my near future. GO TAR HEELS. Basketball team that is. Because our football team just got beat by that OTHER Carolina. Not exactly pretty. I am also a WSU Cougar at heart (Heels = Law school, Cougs = Undergrad) I believe, and this may be inaccurate because I have blocked out much of what transpired, that Oregon KILLED us, 53 to 7. Seriously. I think they gave us that TD just to be nice. 53? I seriously can’t believe that we gave up 53 points. Its been a rough weekend. Now all I need is for my fave NASCAR driver to run into a wall at 200 mph to make my weekend complete.

  6. I still do not see how anyone can have hate sex on a comforter like that. But other than that, I am all for it. Especially because a Kentucky win means I can be the willing recipient.

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