Friday Football Foodie

Welcome to another delicious Friday Football Foodie. I’ll be your pinch-hitting hostess for today. The delectable treats we are making for this upcoming football weekend include Aunt Brenda’s Artichoke Dip, Mom’s Beer Bread and Strip n Go Naked. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Instead of following the usual formula, I’m going to start with the beverage of choice. When I actually made these dishes, I started with my Strip n Go Naked so that I could drink while I cooked the rest of it. I think that’s what you should do too.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Strip n Go Naked is a favorite of mine from back in my bartending days. At the Duke ‘Em Inn, we’d make it in giant Gatorade coolers for $5 all-you-can-drink-Thursdays. (Yep. $5. God bless Kirksville, MO). The ingredients you need are:

>>6 cans/bottles of beer
>>1 12-oz can of frozen limeade concentrate
>>8 ounces of Tequila (spring for the good stuff, cheapskate)

Pour 3 of the beers into a large pitcher or punch bowl. While the foam goes down, run your can of limeade under hot water in the sink to melt it. Pour in the limeade and tequila, then add the final 3 beers. Mix all around and serve over ice, like so:

(Friends “Spicy Curry” and “Wu” optional.
Oh my god, I’m turning into Bill Simmons.)

One more word about Strip n Go Naked. I like tequila, so I make mine with limeade and Corona. If tequila isn’t your bag, you can use regular beer (Bud, Miller, whatever), vodka instead of tequila and lemonade instead of limeade. It is still a good drink that way. Also, if you want to make more than this amount here, just keep doubling the recipe. It still tastes the same.

Next up, we’re going to start in on Mom’s Beer Bread. The bread needs to bake for 50-60 minutes, so you can start it baking while you make the dip. It’s all about efficiency, because the longer you drink Strip n Go Naked, the less contact you’ll want to have with the oven. So, here is what you’ll need for Mom’s Beer Bread:

>>3 cups self-rising flour
>>3 tablespoons sugar
>>1 beer (of any kind)
>>Butter

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Dump the 3 cups of flour into a large bowl (it HAS to be self-rising flour or you will have a mess on your hands), add the sugar, then slowly pour in the beer to try to minimize foam. While you wait for the foam to subside, grease your bread pan with butter using a paper towel. I really like Fleischman’s Olive Oil butter because it’s made mostly with olive oil (imagine that) and tastes better while being better for you. Set the pan aside and stir the bowl concoction around with a spoon, until you have a good sticky bread dough. (No loose flour left in the mixture).

You may be asking yourself why I mixed my bread dough in a sauce pan. That is because I live in a dorm and do not have a kitchen, so my friend Wu graciously allowed me to come over and make the Foodie Food in his kitchen. However, there were a few household items I assumed he had, a large bowl being one of them, that it turned out he did not have. I am a flexible girl, though, and we made due. He also provided the bottle of Jose Cuervo, so I can overlook the lack of other basic kitchen utensils. We also ate the food and watched “Heroes.” Thanks Wu!

Finally, put your dough into your bread pan. It’s really easiest to just coat your hands with flour (so the dough doesn’t stick to them) and use your hands to put it in the pan. Just make sure you have washed them first. Once the bread is in the pan, pop it in the oven and set the timer for 50 minutes.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that these recipes are essentially opening things and mixing them together. The dip is no exception. This is the easiest food you’ll ever make. I actually hesitated about sharing Mom’s Beer Bread with everyone because it tastes AMAZING and people think it’s so hard and then you get to act like that mom in the old Rice Krispy Treat commercial who splashes flour and water on her face and acts like she slaved away making the treats. Anyway. While the bread is baking, you can get started on Aunt Brenda’s Artichoke Dip. Here is what you’ll need:

(Don’t mind the beer and tequila in the background.
They are not part of the recipe.)

>>2 cups of mayonnaise (you can use Lite, but it doesn’t taste the same)
>>1 8-oz bag of shredded mozzarella cheese
>>1 7-oz can of chopped green chilles
>>1 14-oz can of chopped artichoke hearts

Start by putting the two cups of mayonnaise into your 8×8 baking dish. Add the cheese and mix it all around with a spoon. Open the can of artichoke hearts and check to make sure you got the right size because if the hearts are too big you will need to cut them into smaller pieces (not that I did that on accident). Give a dirty look while showing the can of chilles to your friend Wu when he spies you popping the top off the artichoke hearts and remarks, “Good thing you don’t need a can opener” (not that that happened either). Mix the artichoke hearts into the cheese and mayo. Finally, open green chilles any way you can and mix those in too.

 

When the oven timer is down to 30 minutes on the bread, put the dip in the oven with it. The buzzer will go off at 30 minutes and then you’ll want to check them both. The dip should have a Goldilocks consistency: not too watery, but not burning on top. I gave my dip another 5 minutes. You should poke a knife into the bread. If it comes out clean, the bread is good to go. If it comes out with bread insides stuck to it, it needs another 10 minutes or so. I gave mine another 10 minutes. When they are done, butter the top of the bread while it is still hot so that the butter can melt, then let them both cool off for a few minutes.

How you serve the food is up to you. The bread is awesome all by itself (with a little butter) and can be eaten that way. It also goes REALLY well with spicy chili. That is a favorite dish of mine to bring to Super Bowl parties. Just make sure the bread has had time to sufficiently cool down and that you have a good bread knife. Mom’s Beer Bread can get crumbly.

The dip can be put in a large bowl or if can just be self-serve right out of the pan. It’s up to you! Get creative! The dip can be served with the beer bread or it can be eaten off Triscuits, pita chips, whatever your little heart desires. I’ve also discovered that the dip, like revenge, is also delicious when served cold, so if people take a halftime on the football eating, cover it with Saran Wrap and put it in the fridge for later. Either way, here is a nice snacky-snack for your football friends.