There’s a chill in the air, the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer- and that can mean only one thing: it’s almost time for the MLB playoffs. Unfortunately for most fans, the postseason just ain’t in the Cards (hee!) for you this year.
The thrill of victory is matched only in sheer emotion by the agony of defeat. And with less than a week to go in the regular baseball season, there are an awful lot of fans tasting the bitterness of defeat. The majority of AL and NL teams have already been officially eliminated from the possibility of the playoffs… and that’s never a fun place to be. Until now.
Just for those of you out there who have already seen your hopes for the postseason cruelly dashed, I’ve put together a whole smorgasbord of hotties from all the eliminated teams. It’s like a parade of consolation hottness.
This may not make up for how bad your team sucked this season, but hopefully it’ll make the thought of a baseball-less October a lot less painful.
Toronto Blue Jays – Dustin McGowan
Baltimore Orioles – Eric Bedard
Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Edwin Jackson
Minnesota Twins – Joe Mauer
Chicago White Sox – Scott Podsednik
Kansas City Royals – Alex Gordon
Seattle Mariners – Ben Broussard
Oakland A’s – Huston Street & Bobby Crosby
Texas Rangers – Jarrod Saltalamacchia
Washington Nationals – Ryan Langerhans
Florida Marlins – Josh Willingham
St. Louis Cardinals – Albert Pujols
Cincinnati Reds – David Ross
Houston Astros – Brad Ausmus
Pittsburgh Pirates – Xavier Nady
Los Angeles Dodgers – Scott Proctor
San Francisco Giants – Noah Lowry
Ladies... 
Nothing makes me happier than not seeing a single Red Sox on this edition of HDH. I will be at Fenway for the last three games of the season, this weekend, so I can fill up on the non-eliminated hotness in person. Welcome to the best time of year, ladies. Go Sox!
Wow, Dustin McGowan and Alex Gordon you hotties, you.
for the moment, I’m happy the Tigers aren’t on the list (yet) either! Here’s to mathematics and truly magic numbers!
But Eric Bedard, come to momma, let me comfort you.
I am going to scream later on tonight. The Mets are starting Philip Humber (yay, rookies!) and I have to be in a Gymboree music class with Baby Mets till 8 pm. I’m sure the other parents LOVE that I spend most of the class staring at my phone.
Sigh. I never get tired of Nady.
Ever.
No, no, the hotness does not entirely console me that the A’s just never got. it. together. this year. Not entirely.
During my tour of the West Coast ballparks a couple weeks ago, Nick Swisher had set some friends in the first row in front of us and came over and chatted with them. Nick Swisher: just as adorably goofy as you’d think, and less moon-faced. And therefore, hotter.
It was a very pleasant surprise.
I’m also very happy there are no Red Sox here… but Mauer directly followed by Podsednik? I almost died.
yes! no phillies.
yeahh i love me some mauer, and thoes oakland a’s…. i cant deal with it.
and everytime i hear the word scott proctor i think about kyle farnsworth and the dugout.
Dustin McGowan was a nice little surprise after the jump.
Ain’t in the Cards. Genius. Heeee! Sorry, Andrea. ; )
I’ll just come out and say it. I’ve been avoiding you Ladies because of the dreaded Pink Locker Room post. Yeah. I don’t need to read anymore about yet another Hawkeye loss. : ( You pulled me back in with that lovely picture of My Next Husband running his hands through that glorious mane, even as he’s bringing the suck. Too bad he signed with a shitty team. Better luck next year, Barry. Or, you could just go back to Oakland where you belong.
bristlesage, I met Nick Swisher last spring in Chicago, and yeah. He’s the perfect combination of hot and goofy.
Plus, don’t forget, he grew his hair out and then cut it off for Locks of Love in honor of his grandma. Awww!
I was pleasantly surprised to find Ben Broussard hiding out on the Mariners roster.
Oh, Barry Zito, with your tight pants and high socks. I’ll miss you until next spring.
I wish the Phillies and the A’s would play each other in interleague play more often. I think they’re pretty much the only other club who can give the Phillies a run for their roster hotness money. Danny Haren, Huston Street, Bobby Crosby, Rich Harden, Shannon Stewart, oh mama.
Langy is a less-pretty but somehow hotter version of Christian Bale. We really miss him on the Braves.
But Brad Ausmus? I’ll be watching every minute of our series this weekend, baby. Smooches!
Did you know that Saltalamacchia in Italian means ‘he jumps the spot’? Mmmhmmm.
Oh, and it’s never a bad thing to have another picture of Brad Ausmus. Adorable!
Come on.
David Ross? The Reds have better representation. Check out Joey Votto, he was a call-up.
Ryan Langerhans is beautiful- that picture doesn’t even do him justice, but I was trying to find one of him in his Nats uni.
Joey Votto is a cutie.
I second Devon’s sentiment! Reds have many to choose from: Junior, Brandon Phillips, young ‘un Homer Bailey, Alex Gonzalez, Josh Hamilton…I could go on all day! :)
(Now thinking nasty thoughts of all of above Reds and Skyline chilli! Mmmmm, hot & tasty!)
Sorry, Tigers- you’re officially out of the playoff hunt after the Yankees’ win tonight. This is for you:
Thanks Texas Gal. You truly understand how to put a smile on our faces.
Did you know you can go on a cruise in the carribean with Curtis and Zumaya in November?? That would make me forget all about the disaster that was August…
My first post here. I can never get enough of Albert. Yummy pic. It’s gonna be a long winter waiting to see him again…
Dear Jim Leyland,
Please spend the offseason doing two things. One, sign a contract extension. Two, review all the old tapes, notes, anything you might have that will help explain how the Tigers have fallen on their heads in August two years in a row. Once you determine what went wrong, fix it. I’ve tried wearing the same shirt, eating the same foods, sitting in the same seat, it’s just not working in August. There must be a technical reason you can’t win in August. Thanks for another wonderful season. See you in Lakeland in February.
Dear Red Wings,
I’m tired of yelling at the t.v. I realize we can’t bring back Stevie Y and the magic of 97 and 98, so lets try a new strategy. No more disappointing, play like you know how, and all will be right in Hockeytown. Thank you in advance.
Xavier is so so so so so so PERFECT!
Maggie- it’s funny, I just had a discussion the other night about superstitions on the train ride back from the White Sox game. I don’t really believe anything I do or wear or say has any effect on my team… and yet I just can’t help myself. I have lucky shirts (and unlucky shirts), lucky bars to watch games at, etc.
In any event, you know I would have loved to have the Tigers in the playoffs over the Yanks any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Texas Gal- I’m a big Longhorn’s football fan, and for the first two games of the season, I was at the same bar in the same shirt, and they won. Didn’t play well, things were scary, but they still won. Last Saturday, can’t watch the game because we have dinner plans. I was on pins and needles all evening because I wasn’t there on my stool willing them to win, because, of course, me sitting on a barstool in NYC makes all the difference.
As a Tigers fan, I’m happy we’re no longer The Worst Team in Baseball. And I never really cared one way or another about the Yankees. Since moving to this town, I can honestly saw I hate the Yankees, simply based on arrogant fans. Mets fans are great and I’m rooting for them all the way.
you know, dodgers could have a better representation, how about chad billingley, derek lowe, matt kemp and my dear andre ethier?
Every team gets one guy (except the A’s, because, well, they’re the A’s)- and since I did the post, I got to make the picks. And, for better or for worse, I have a huge thing for Proctor.
Mmmmmmm Scott.
Very nice choices!
Thanks for including Erik Bedard! He’s not conventionally good looking, but he has this boyish cuteness that is very attractive. Happy to see he makes the cut for this All-Hottie team.