The Pink Locker Room

COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS HERE! Welcome to a new weekly feature here at Ladies: thoughts on our homer teams from the previous weekend. We’ve got 8 Ladies and 8 colleges, though that is because G-shum wants two and TSW just putters around the Ladies Batcave muttering about Yinzers and some Lawrence Fishburn-lookalike. Lots of great college football this past weekend, so let’s check in with all the Ladies after their teams’ first fall outings…..

Andrea: I got to see my Hawkeyes play in person for the first time in awhile, and it was also at Soldier Field in Chicago, so that was pretty sweet. They didn’t look quite as good as I would’ve hoped against Northern Illinois, but the defense was its usual awesome self, giving up just 20 rushing yards. If our receivers can adapt to our new south paw, cutie Jake Christensen, I think we’ll be alright.

Clare: The Pitt Panthers took it to the house, allowing one field goal in the first quarter and then blanking the Directional-School Michigan Eagles the rest of the way, winning 27-3.

G-Shum: In 2006, Wake Forest’s starting QB was injured in the first game and unheralded, unheard of freshman Riley Skinner stepped in, stepped up, took the Deacs to the Orange Bowl and got his own Wikipedia entry. Fast-forward to the 2007 opener, a Catholic v. Baptist matchup at Boston College where the Jesuits not only won 38-28, but also left a separation in Riley’s shoulder big enough for the Holy Spirit. Even though next week the Deacs have their secular opener against non-denominational Nebraska, there’s sure as hell gonna be more praying in the stands.

Holly: more on this later, because Miss Holly attended the game in person, but for now: The Fightin’ Hippies of Berkeley emerged victorious. Boooooo. However, the Vols’ Erik Ainge had a great game, throwing for 270 yards and 3 TDs, with no INTs. He’s also hot. Aside: I wish I would’ve taken the over. There were 76 total pts scored. That’s 3 touchdowns more than the Iowa/NIU and Notre Dame/GaTech games combined.

Metschick: Rutgers opened strong (as well they should!) against Buffalo, scoring before my first bite of pizza. Ray Rice had 184 yards and 3 TDs, Tiquan Underwood caught 10 passes for a school-record 248 yards, and Mike Teel threw for a career-high 328 yards to help the Scarlet Knights to a 38-3 victory over Buffalo. It was a great way to start the season. Is it Friday (vs. Navy) already?

SA: SA likes Michigan, so….uh…..after going on a rampage that left crying children in her wake, she was reached for this comment, “You bastards broke my heart. Fucking broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. Except for Mike Hart, who was the ONLY person (player or coach) who came ready to play.”

Texas Gal: The Cowboys beat the Indians by a touchdown this weekend. Perhaps we would’ve looked for more scoring from the #4 team in the country. Turkey Creek Colt McCoy went gun-slingin’ for 223 yards and 2 TDs, though he did also have 2 INTs. He’s also hot. I wonder what his caliber is…….

TSW: Since the greatest contribution that my college ever gave football was the mighty Vince Lombardi – and nothing since then – Saturdays are all about rooting for the big guys to fail. (Screw you and your fancy scholarships, boosters, and catchy fight songs.) Two upsets in the first weekend? It usually takes me until November to reach that level of Schadenfreude satisfaction.

What would Grandpa Lombardi say about this weekend? “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”