Rangers Hottie Jarrod Saltalamacchia did his part in the absolute take-them-out- behind-the-woodshed routing of the Baltimore Orioles by the Texas Rangers last night. This was the first 30-run game by a team since 1897. 110 years, people. What boggles my mind further is that this is the most runs ever scored by a team in a double-header…….before the second game even started! Byrd and Metcalf each had a grand slam. Ramon Vazquez and Salty each had two homeruns and 7 RBIs. Texas Rangers, we salute you! [The Texas Rangers Scored More Runs Than The Total of Each Other Game Last Night ]
Patriots Hottie Tom Brady has welcomed a new addition into this world. Bridget Moynahan gave birth Wednesday to a healthy baby boy. It is unknown if Brady arrived before the birth. Maybe he and Randy Moss were busy…..on a boat…… [Maybe He Can Grow Up to Play Football with Cole Leinart]
Cardinals Hottie Albert Pujols homered in his career-best 5th straight game. He’s homered in 4 straight games 7 times, but this is the first time for 5 in a row. He also became the first player in MLB history to have 30 or more homers in his first 7 seasons. This may not seem like news, but at the rate Pujols started the year…..it was pretty touch-and-go for awhile. But since the All-Star break, when he totally got his swing back in the Home Run Derby, he’s hit an NL-best 14 homeruns. [Suck It, A-Rod.]
And finally, in Fantasy Football Draft news, Beer Can Hottie Ryan had a great night last night. As an outside consultant for this FF draft, I fear for Ryan. When Leinart can no longer play because Lil’ Leinart has fallen off due to herpes and scabies, and Crybaby Manning finally chooses Alvin Ailey over Tom Coughlin, what will Ryan do?