Today’s H&R is gonna be quick and dirty, coming at ya all GordonShumway style from the Philadelphia airport. I have precisely 20 minutes to put together some hottie tidbits- so my selections today are coming straight off the top of my head. After six days of baseball games, my attention span is running short anyway- so play along while I randomly skip around the sporting world.
* First off, have to give some love to dirty sexy hottie Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand for putting on a show against the Braves over the weekend- including a spectacular home run and an even more spectacularly crazy catch in the outfield that saved our bacon (ahem) and helped clear the way (along with a giant 3-run homer by cutie Ryan Howard) for the Phillies’ 5-3 victory over Atlanta. All despite some horrific baserunning by Pat “Slowcamotive” Burrell.
2nd place in the NL East means we’re coming for you, Mets!
* And then there’s golf hottie Sergio “Make It Rain… With Spit” Garcia, who found yet another new and exciting way to lose a major when he signed an incorrect scorecard on Saturday, DQing him from the PGA Championship. Never trust a guy named “Boo”, Sergio- it’s doubtful he’s functionally literate, much less able to keep up with scoring a tourney properly.
Fortunately, hottie Tiger “Make It Rain… With Birdies” Woods stepped right in to claim the victory.
* Scott “I Say You Have A Beautiful Body, Please Hold It Against Me” Podsednik was apparently claimed off waivers by the crosstown Chicago Cubs on Friday… but negotiations to close the deal are now apparently D.O.A. What a shame- he would have looked lovely in Cubbie pinstripes.
* And of course I can’t close out without mentioning win #15 racked up by Josh “Modesty Ain’t My Middle Name” Beckett on Saturday– which puts him at #1 in all of baseball. (OK, Lackey got #15, too… but Beckett got there first!) Plus, as a bonus, Jonathan “Crazy Cajun Closer” Papelbon got the save. And I want to lodge a formal request to get Kason “Typo” Gabbard back from Texas- they can have Gagne back.