Hottie Vision – Jonathan Papelbon

Once in awhile, the sports media gets it right. Often, by accident, they stumble upon an idea that’s pure gold- so awesome, you wonder why someone didn’t think of it sooner. The golden idea in this case? Putting a mic on or in the hands of hottie Jonathan Papelbon. The Red Sox lights-out closer may have one hell of a killer Papelglare on the mound, but on his own time he’s bona fide comedy gold. He’s a total cut-up, who doesn’t censor a single thought that comes into his head, and delivers all that charm and silliness with a Southern drawl. Seriously- they really need to give him his own show.

Exhibit 1: Friendly’s Scoop with Julian Tavarez

The genius folks at FSN decided this season to give Papyboo his own weekly segment, where they basically just shoot the shit with him about baseball. But a few weeks ago, things got even better when they decided to hand over the mic to Papyboo, and let him interview a teammate instead. The first victim? Starting pitcher Julian Tavarez. But Papyboo doesn’t choose to use his time talking about pitching mechanics, or the rotation or any of that stuff. No, he decides instead to find out who Tavarez thinks is the sexiest guy in the Red Sox bullpen, and who is the sexiest hitter on the Sox roster. Sounds like Papyboo would fit in GREAT around here.

Video of this (and more!) after the jump…

Exhibit 2: Friendly’s Scoop with Kevin Youkilis

I didn’t think the greatness of the Papyboo-Tavarez interview could be topped, but then came the Papyboo-Youkilis interview. Once again, Papyboo tries to find out who Youk thinks is the sexiest Red Sox pitcher and hitter. But where Tavarez was sweetly earnest in his responses, Youk fakes Papyboo out with a joke answer that fools him completely for a moment or two. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? Freddy Krueger?”

Exhibit 3: Papelbon & Josh Beckett Debate Very Emphatically

My very favorite Papyboo video- and it made the rounds before, but it deserves a resurgence. NESN sagely decided to mic Papyboo up for BP on a Friday before the Orioles game in May. The gist is that Papyboo is calling out Josh Beckett for using a word that he subsequently is unable to spell. Before it ends, he gets Curt Schilling, Dice-K’s interpreter, and Terry Francona in on the action.

Best things about this?
– dueling Southern accents of Beckett & Papyboo
– Curt Schilling: “you’re already wrong”
– Papyboo shoving Beckett
– “I don’t try to do more, I don’t try to do less”
– Beckett: “that’s my rule- you can’t tell everybody my rule”
– Beckett’s semi-harried running his fingers through his hair
– Tito: “so what’s your point?”
– Papyboo and Tito fist bump

You can see all the Friendly’s Scoop segments with Papyboo here

This entry was posted in Boston Red Sox, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

13 thoughts on “Hottie Vision – Jonathan Papelbon

  1. That is too precious for words. I thought I had heard enough descriptions of Tavarez’s, um, good looks when sitting at various Wrigleyville bars when he was both with the Cubs and the redbirds. Papy and Youks take it to a new level.

  2. In other players being precious news, Rich Hill just read the Cubs line up on Fox as Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. He said that one of the players (maybe DeRosa) is training to be a cage fighter. Classic.

  3. I totally saved that on my TiVo – he was HILARIOUS. He sounded just like Kip.

    And Raskol- I heart you for the spelling of emfaticully. I shall henceforth only spell the word that way.

  4. I just viewed the videos by Jonathan Papelbone. . .Peoplebone. . . (Paperbone ?). . . It certainly was interesting, and filled with witty, cutting- edge repartee. I hope you have more of this highly amusing content in the near future.

  5. I saw that when it aired. So damn funny. These guys crack me up. Papelbon is so damn cute. I loved it when he said I don’t use those words, I stay RIGHT here. HAHA

    Texas Gal…did you get the Josh Beckett picture I sent you?? :)

  6. “Obviously you know Beckett’s not gonna be on that list.”


    Thank you again for the “emfaticully” video! I had been looking for that for a while. Does that mean I’m obsessed? That’s twice in less than a week that Texas Gal has come through for me!

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