NBA Thunderdome: TWO SUPERSTARS ENTER, ONE SUPERSTAR LEAVES

Well, the NBA finals are upon us. The playoffs began back in February and since then, baseball is 1/3 of the way done, hockey is wrapped up, Greg Oden has sired another vampire, Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls have abandoned me, and Billy Donovan has held, at last count, 7 different coaching positions.

BUT NOW! The finals are here. 4 to 7 games to decide it all. And, thanks to King James and his Merry Cavaliers and Boom Dizzle and his beard, the ride has been downright exciting. The Spurs have been idle for, well, it seems like forever at this point but is only actually May 30th. Still, 8 days is a long time to be idle before the finals. Just as the Detroit Tigers.

The Cavaliers, on the other hand, finished their series with the Pistons on this past Saturday and are coming off a streak in which they rattled off 4 consecutive wins. LeBron James has been on fire as of late, but he has also had a decent supporting cast to help him out. Based on their recent hot streak, I predict Cavaliers in 6. Feel free to shout me down in the comments.

Now, on to the Hotties of the NBA Finals. By virtue of me deciding, Spurs are up first:


I couldn’t decide if Tony Parker looks hot or creepy, but then I got
distracted by the definition down by his hip. Holy moly.

 


Manu Ginobili: goofy looking Argentinian? Yes
Cute smile and abs I would lick ice cream off of? Hell yes.

 


Robert Horry: Why yes, I will be friends with you!


Beno Udrih: Awwwww!


Tim Duncan wants YOU! to watch the NBA finals


Bruce Bowen: Is that Tony LaRussa in the background?


Bowen and Duncan: BFF!

The Spurs are represented by some fine-lookin’ men. Let’s see how the Cavaliers do:

 

Daniel “Boobie” Gibson: I just wanna squeeze ‘im!

 


Scot Pollard: seriously, he’s cute. And clearly funny.


He’s kind of like if Huey Lewis and Timothy Olyphant had a kid


King James: I don’t care that Carmelo’s in this picture too.
I want to be friends with them!


Hello there, Smiley Guy.
I’ll give you something to smile about.


Sasha Pavlovic: He’s my favorite.
Look at that charm.


Brood for me, baby.
Then wrap those arms around me.

 

26 thoughts on “NBA Thunderdome: TWO SUPERSTARS ENTER, ONE SUPERSTAR LEAVES

  1. Cool, my Bat-Signal is working again.

    I have always loved that Kansas brought in Cali loop-jobs like Pollard and Gooden. We need that kind of thing out in the vanilla midwest. Especially if they can score or rebound. Otherwise, get off our lawn, freak.

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  3. C’mon, Duncan is terribly attractive, especially anytime the refs call a foul on him and his eyes bug out and he throws his arms out like he just walked into Chris Hansen’s house. It really bothers me that because he is a nice guy, Duncan gets a pass for being such a bitch on the court. Sometimes you do foul, Timmy.

  4. Duncan is attractive in a weird way. He always has this “who, me?” look on his face that I think is weird, but his sheer size and talent make him hot to me.

  5. “He’s kind of like if Huey Lewis and Timothy Olyphant had a kid”

    Absolutely brilliant and spot-on. I can’t believe nobody has pointed this out before.

  6. I would call Tony Parker neither hot nor fug. Rather, he’s French.

    The French are possibly the most physically plain nationality around, almost uniforn in their appearance, & while you wouldn’t invite them to your bed, you wouldn’t kick them out, either.

    I suppose, then, that they’re almost English in this respect. Just, better teeth, & and those noses. The Gallic nose is tops. (Save for mine, which is mid-sized & rectilinear. No bumps, no bruises, homes.)

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