Mickey Mantle Award: Baseball’s Best Assets, pt. 3

Compiling a list of the 25 hottest asses in baseball is harder than it would seem- because, as I quickly learned, every single ballclub has lots of great looking butts… and at least one or two spectacular ones. Some guys help their cause by wearing appropriately close-fitting pants (#1 on the list is a master at this technique) and wearing those pants in the flattering high-cuffed fashion (#3 does this gloriously). But in the end, it’s the ass that matters- no matter what team he’s on or what kind of pants he’s wearing (though I’d urge them all to follow the example of #1 and #3 if they want a little help in the rankings next year).

You can check out the butts that have made the grade so far at: Mickey Mantle Award Part 1: #25-21 and Mickey Mantle Award Part 2: #20-16. And we’re moving on up to #15-11 after the jump…

#15: Xavier Nady
Pittsburgh Pirates, RF

The Buccos are well represented by the beauty that is Xavier’s ass- even though the Cardinals, Padres and Mets should be able to share in at least a little of the glory, since they’ve all been the beneficiary of his lovely assets. He even makes the new red-trimmed unis look hot. Plus, he gets bonus points for having the coolest name of the entire group.

#14: Jimmy Rollins
Philadelphia Phillies, SS

I’m surprised they were able to catch Jimmy’s lovely butt in motion on film, because he’s so damned fast I’d have thought there would just be a blur where his legs should be. The ungodly speed apparently does wonders for his butt, because he’s a solid #14 on the list. Not every man on the list can be a 6-4 220 pound hunk- there’s room to show love to the great butts on the under 6-0 guys, too.

#13: Paul Konerko
Chicago White Sox, 1B

Paulie is the dark horse entrant who came out of nowhere to claim the #13 slot- mostly because I was enthralled while watching his sweet ass at work on the diamond from my seat in the bullpen bar at the Cell a few weeks ago. Paul is the everyman, the boy next door you always had a crush on– who just so happens to be a fantastic ballplayer with a gorgeous butt. South side, indeed.

#12: David Wright
New York Mets, 3B

New York’s Mister Clean also has the sweetest ass in the city, the county and the whole darned state. You hear that, Yankees? Y’all didn’t get a single guy on the list. Once again, the Mets are showing NY who’s boss. I know some people will cry foul that David is at #12, which seems a little low for his… talent level. But it’s good to keep this guy humble- let’s make him work harder to move up in the rankings for next year.

#11: Albert Pujols
St. Louis Cardinals, 1B

St. Louis can blame Alby for the fact that there’s only one Cardinal on the list. That’s because his butt is so amazing, all the other guys on the team pale in comparison. His butt outshines all the rest. Yet another category in which no baseball player wants to be measured against Pujols.

This entry was posted in baseball ass, Mickey Mantle Award, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

33 thoughts on “Mickey Mantle Award: Baseball’s Best Assets, pt. 3

  1. Redhead- Moose is the ONLY Yankee I find even remotely attractive (because I picture him in the Orioles uni- not the yucky pinstripes). But it was tough for pitchers to make the list- only 2 did it.

    And POOR XAVIER- he can’t even count on his TSW to back him up. (and if my picture selection makes him look like a pancake ass, I take full responsibility… because his butt is lovely)

  2. That David Wright picture. In my mind, that’s taking place at a great dive bar and he’s buying me a beer. That is a quality Bar Lean.

    Even living in Chicago I’ve somehow managed not to appreciate Konerko’s butt, but I’ll be making up for that posthaste.

  3. Wright’s from Virginia, too, so I’m sure he’s got a lovely “darlin'” that he can work. I bet that gets him lots of action in New York, where I imagine the darlin’ quotient is rather low.

  4. David Wright has just stolen my heart.

    And I’m with ya Redhead. Although like Tex, he’s the only Yankee to really grab my attention. That bending over stance is a favorite of mine. That and Zito’s high kick.

  5. Wow, I just realized that I have spent a good 10 mins reading this post and all the comments. I just spent 10 mins reading carefully an article about baseball players’ asses. I need some hookers and pizza to get my manhood back.

    Seriously, though, congrats Ladies… on how far you have come, making completely hetero males such as myself care at all about a baseball ass. That is a very powerful web y’all are weaving.

  6. I’m kind of “eh” on Nady’s rear, but those forearms? Yowza. (Confidential to the other Ladies…: Have you ever noticed how many people come to our site by googling “forearms”?)

    I’m so torn on David Wright.

    Hazel eyes!
    But he’s a Met.
    But he’s a Met.
    That butt!
    But he’s a Met, and he has B&T eyebrows.

  7. Yeah- I did (heh) Grady yesterday because we get over a hundred hits a day from searches for “Grady Sizemore”– and we don’t even have a post on him. I felt bad for all those poor ladies out there wandering around in search of Grady.

  8. Tex, I googled “Grady Sizemore” yesterday myself just to see where in the results we come up. Ladies…isn’t even in the first 15 pages of results! So these women must be reeeeeal hard up for Sizemore goodness.

  9. Seriously, Clare? Whoa. Then there are, quite literally, hundreds of people a day who are very hard up.

    And TSW, I am planning a Hump Day Hottie that is wall-to-wall hot swimmers for the beginning of July- to coincide perfectly with the All-Star break. It’s gonna be a doozy. Maybe that will make everything right with all the Phelpsians.

  10. Forearms? Did someone mention forearms? I have an ungodly attraction to nice forearms.

    I think I might be the only one who’d appreciate a a post that consisted just of close ups of players batting. Their FAs look so hot as they swing the bat.

  11. Wow! This is a truly amazing page, I just can’t wait for the rest of the list. I find myself thanking all in heaven that I found your page. Thanks for this wonderful gift!

  12. Well, maybe there is hope for me yet. My forearms and my calves are about the only parts of mine I like, so I am glad someone could appreciate them.

  13. Randomness- Brad Ausmus made the list- he was featured in the first post. He is divine.

    And I may have known TSW loved My First Baseball Boyfriend, Craig Biggio, but I had forgotten. And re-hearing that again makes me SO happy.

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