Blog Bracketologists – Working the Long Weekend

When we announced “The Hot Blogger Bracket: A call to arms. And abs.“, in our wildest dreams we could not have hoped for such a response. Not only were we overwhelmed by the sheer number of you who answered our call, we have been completely swept away by talent in all of the tournament entries.

Quite simply, you guys are amazing.

Now comes the hard part.

Never again will we criticize this NCAA Selection Committee. Ever. This shit is hard. The debates, the crying, the “squees!”, the begging and pleading to be included. It can take a lot out of a Lady. So we’re taking this long weekend rest up and get ready.

GordonShumway is making another bracket, much like the Hottie Bracket we made for the NCAA tourney. Having this much hotness together for a second time will surely melt the WordPress servers.

SA, Metschick, Andrea and myself will finish getting pull-quotes from all of the writing samples. All of us have discovered some well-written blogs that we didn’t know existed until now, and strong words and minds are exciting.

Clare is going to continue to spread the gospel of “bacon pants”, and then edit all of our posts. (Conf. to Clare – I still don’t know what bacon pants are, but I want them. Or want see someone in them. Maybe we can get the winner a pair? -TSW.)

Holly is has gone on vacation after sorting through all the entries, a shell of the woman she once was. Through the babble all we could make out was, “I said ONE picture! One link!”

Texas Gal is off on another trip to yet another baseball stadium. Once she gets back, she is in charge of at least one, “DAY-UM” for each hot blogger vote.

To hold you over until the bracket’s publication, we’ve excerpted the following gems from the applications. All [sic]s implied.

*licking my fingers and running them through my eyebrows*

You mentioned cheating, shenanigans, and ballot-stuffing but left out tomfoolery, which I am a pro at. Is that cool?

I’m in the ladies pool… I hope it’s topless.

I will be your Oral Roberts . . . . Ladies.

I’m your huckleberry– I mean, your Texas A&M Corpus Christi.

And, finally, a use for that bearskin rug, bearskin thong set.

NHL – I don’t even know what that is. I think that’s made up.

I request bonus points for submitting a picture which

We’d have been the guys who got waxed in the tournament play-in game, though. I vote for Ufford anyway — he’s good-looking yet blogger-pale.

i would lay utter waste to the competition (with my only foreseeable competition being Ufford… fucking pretty boy).

Been a Mets fan since I was 7, a Knicks fan since 12, and a Seminole fan since they were the only school to accept a kid with a 2.6 gpa out of high school.

I am also fortunate enough to have blue eyes and once received the comment, I love your bedroom eyes. from a high school teacher.

We may not be the most widely-read blog on the ‘net, but we’re getting a kick out of writing about mediocre football, and all of the sex it’s inevitably going to lead to.

and what I lack in wit and looks I make up for in sexual prowess. Beliee ‘dat.

Fears: Spiders, drowning, being drowned by a spider
Hands: Freakishly smooth for a male

My main goal is simply to break my single day hit record of 12. Be sure to describe me as ambitious during the contest.

We’ll see you next week.

155 thoughts on “Blog Bracketologists – Working the Long Weekend

  1. That desk picture says it all. Let us respect Holly’s privacy in this time of privation. Texy, on the other hand. Gallivanting is what you’re doing. When your sisters need you. For shame.

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  3. Great, now I have another reason to be afraid of spiders.

    As if having eight legs and more eyes then would ever be evolutionarily necessary wasn’t enough, now they can drown you too??!

  4. Yeah, so I’ve just spent the better part of an hour enlarging that picture on photoshop and analyzing why my picture is placed where it is. You’re killing me Smalls!

  5. That picture is outstanding. My favorite part: the fresh mixed drink in with the madness, just above the highlighter. Gin and tonic?

    A sincere thanks for your hard work Ladies…

  6. Did Paul Shirley enter the contest?

    B/c I’m confident that’s his picture on the bottom on the monitor (hands outstretched)…

    Analyzing this picture is sort of like a LOST easter egg search.

    Good times, good times.

  7. Allow me to quote, at this time, from my original instructions:

    “3. You will submit one (1) recent photo, of you, in focus, that gives a good look at your face and any other assets you wish to emphasize, and one (1) link to a post you feel best represents your superiority as a writer.”

    ONE PICTURE AND ONE LINK. I EVEN INCLUDED NUMBERS. For the record, I wanted to kick all y’all overcompensating motherfuckers OUT, and was voted down. Let the record show, however, that I hate your asses. *trailing off into incoherent yet vaguely menacing murmuring*

  8. @ Holly: Are you telling me that those of us who followed the instructions and only sent in one picture are not getting any kind of advantage? It’s like you’re practically begging me to send you more pictures.

  9. Oh, and for the record some more, no one contestant is more advantaged than any other by way of having sent multiple photos and/or links. If you sent us five blog posts, for example? One was selected at random and the others were not even looked at. Which is what you get for not being able to read.

  10. Sven – I am glad you liked the picture. Yes, that is my office.
    As the Art Directed said as I was putting it together, “That looks like something out of ‘Se7en’.”
    (Yes I keep booze at my office. That is my own stash seperate from the main office bar.)

  11. Oh crap. I see not only pictures with kids (genius!). But some dude has a heart and another has an OMG.

    I just don’t want to be the 5 seed that gets upset by the 12.

  12. I’m posting Jack Cobra’s email he send because he said he could not log in to comment –

    8:11 am (57 minutes ago)
    For some reason I’m unable to leave a comment on your site as my
    computer blows. So, here we go:

    Kudos to the Ladies….. for their hard work and effort. I’d imagine
    that’s what the desk of the next serial killer looks like?

    Have a great weekend!


  13. That picture is amazing. It’s like Tiger Beat put together a high school yearbook candids section.

    Following Vanilla’s lead… I’m worried about the lack of a post-it on my photo. Did you determine I did something that’s equivalent to losing in the first round of my conference tourney?

  14. Holly, don’t get mad mad at me. I only sent two.

    I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to do in this tournament, or if I’m going to make it. I would be excited if I managed to get past the first round.

  15. I must be on the dads board. I knew even before Holly said it – “You decide who you are and we’ll decide if we like it”. I’m a dad.

    Suck it, non-procreators!!!!!!

    And that’s Jay who looks like an Abercrombie ad. And he writes for Esquire and has a book deal. So… tremble, fellas.

  16. I think that pitcher is blocking my picture. Probably a bad sign, in that “oh my god, that fella…is so ugly and makes me want to drink, and holy shit, his creepy bald head is freaking me out and needs to be obstructed by my sorry, sorry alcoholic crutch.”

  17. If it gets the male blogger population back in your good graces Holly, we’ll start any kind of thread you want. Even though we’ll probably do it incorrectly… let the trash talk begin!

    I would consider myself a bit of a dark horse because even though I’m rather light-skinned, I look like Wesley Snipes compared to a lot of those guys. Yikes!

    It looks like pictures from a metrosexual convention exploded all over TSW’s computer. You’re not giving away product as the 1st prize are you?

    C’mon blogosphere, a vote for Jon is a vote for masculinity!

    Assuming I’m actually in. Otherwise strike that comment from the record.

  18. Also, I recently put my submitted picture on Myspace, and one of my best friends quickly responded with “Nice haircut scumbag. So what’s the deal, did you just give up?”

    So, yeah. Loving my chances here.

  19. May I be the first to propose a Hot Blogger Bracket Tournament Challenge? (At least I’m assuming I’m the first)

    The thought of all of us bloggers filling out our brackets based on which other blogger is hotter makes me laugh.

    “Honey, come here a second.”

    “Are you still working on your blog?”

    “Not right now, but I have to post a story about new Brady Quinn pictures before the end of the day.”

    (sigh and eye roll) “What do you need?”

    “Which of these two guys are hotter?”

  20. Jon, half of the pool would pick themselves to win the whole thing and the other half would have themselves going out in the first or second rounds.

    It would be a beautiful clusterfuck, if an awkward one.

  21. Jon Pyle, us brown boys gotta stick together. I’m the one in the lower left hand corner… All you Caucasians better watch out! We’ve got you surrounded! And we use first and last names!

  22. Bacon pants (the concept): Edible pants made of delicious, crispy bacon.

    Bacon Pants (the person): Aaron Rowand. Because he’s meaty and delicious.

    I started drinking early today; can you tell?

  23. Davey – You’re there. Click the Flickr link and see that your shot got lost in the glare.

    Mike White – Kinkos accidently cut off your head – as well as a couple others – when I went and printed these all out. Sorry you had to be one of the pics on the desk. (Which I was glad to have, because I was having massive lighting issues and the only other thing I could have put down would have been my white desk blotter that would have made the bounce back even worse.)

  24. Wow. Good luck ladies. Should I feel bad that I just spent 15 minutes looking for myself like a Where’s Waldo? adventure? Oh well, gotta like my chances. Although I don’t have a flurry of heart-stickies on my pic, I did get quoted. As long as I am not a 5 seed facing a 12, I’ll be ok.

  25. Win or lose, I’m very pleased with my placement in that photo.

    It’s like the Ladies inherently realize that, when things get tough and difficult decisions need to be made, they can just look up and to the left, where the slightly creepy guy with a beard and glasses is offering them a big hug, and know that everything will be alright.

    That said…does it make anyone else sad inside to have Holly mad at them? I knew I never should have sent in two (2) links. I just hope she picked the good one.

  26. No post it on my picture. No quote from me in the article. I’m getting on the phone with the NIT right now and accepting their gracious invitation.

  27. I just don’t want to be the 5 seed that gets upset by the 12.

    I’d be more worried about a 16 taking out a 1. If I was a betting man I’d place my money on that.

    *off to my bookie

  28. Okay, let me see here….

    Guys with their kids…check

    Multiple shirtless dudes….check

    The Unabomber…..check

    Short of someone trying to show off their ass-ets in baseball pants sending in a photo, I think all the groups are represented. Well done fellas!

    Just know though that if this were a radio broadcasting contest, I’d kick all your asses!

  29. OMDQ – It makes me a little sad inside that I followed her instructions to the letter within 15 seconds of getting the email invite. I obviously crave approval far too much.

  30. “Kinkos accidentally cut off your head”

    I was wondering about that red stain on my couch. And why I could watch myself walking around aimlessly. I smell a lawsuit.

  31. I’m also noticing that Satan has his picture at the bottom center of the monitor and what appears to be a sticky that says KSK on it. Kissing Suzy Kolber or Kneel at Satan’s Kingdom?

  32. did naked guy send in a panoramic picture that is tucked under your keyboard? if so, which part gets posted on the bracket?

  33. I just realized two of the quotes are mine. Hot damn, I’m funnier than my mom told me. Then I also realized my photo is below a Post-it that apparently says, “Duds” and the dude with the giant heart Post-it probably has a leg up. I have a third leg up. Thank you.

  34. Good thing I was wearing my ‘me faltan dos pa’ un trio’ shirt when I sent in my picture, that always wins over the ladies.

    If anyone of them speak Spanish..that is. And if you speak Spanish, you win.

  35. I’m pretty sure MetsChick speaks Spanish… & even if nobody else does, that slogan translates pretty easily — you’re here for the orgy. & there’s nothing wrong with that.


  36. No photo on the wall, and I sent multiple links because I’m clearly a moron. I’ve got the sneaking suspicion this will end as well as a Bill Simmons column for me…

  37. All this endless, playful banter leading up to what’s more than likely going to be a humiliating and embarrassing experience for me. Are we sure this isn’t foreplay?

  38. Everyone needs to stop worrying already. You showed up to the ball, what makes you think we wouldn’t want to dance?

    (Whatever that means. I was out too late last night playing poker.)

  39. I would have totally entered, but I don’t have a sports blog, I’m not a pretty boy, and I only like to be judged harshly in private.
    You Ladies… are to be commended for the amount of work you’re putting into this. Bravo!

  40. +2 for getting “blumpkin” mentioned on this blog… on Memorial Day, no less.

    An additional + if you can get blumpkin hyperlinked as a tag.

  41. Rupert: Reading the instructions is not the problem. It’s convincing yourself to actually follow the instructions that’s hard. It’s tempting you like “DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON.”

  42. I was wearing my ‘me faltan dos pa’ un trio’ shirt when I sent in my picture, that always wins over the ladies.

    I saw that and I loved that shirt! I’m a big fan of shirts like that (I have several from Latin Laundry: “Cojelo con take it easy”, “Single, bilingual, & Ready to mingle” – which I’ve never actually worn – “I speak Spanglish), and I must add that one to my collection.

  43. More than one Lady liked you, Sean. That just happened to be the picture that Holly selected out of the multiples that you sent in. Hence the post it.

    I never thought I’d come to a point in my life where I was explaining post it notes…

  44. After reading the comments, I now feel bad I sent in multiple posts and two pictures. I wasn’t overcompensating, I really couldn’t choose my best post. I like them all.

    ps – any guy that sent in a shirtless picture should be disqualified on principle. come on, that’s stupid.

  45. Luckily, I opted out of this endeavor. I did not want to upset any Ladies… stomachs (with my writing of course, it’s Charles Nelson Reilly horrible).

  46. wah wah wah. “I couldn’t choose one picture! I am so OVERWHELMINGLY ATTRACTIVE that one photo is not enough to convey my surpassing radiance!”

  47. Holly, don’t forget:

    “aw boo friggin’ hoo! I can;t provide just ONE LINK! It’s not a reflection of my true journalistic Prowess.”

    We peomise we will follw the rulles next Time. If there is a next time…

    /looks out the window frantically, closes curtains at record speed, pre-emptively performs ritualistic sacrifice of a squirrel from the backyard in hope of pleasing the gods

  48. If there is a this time, Mike.

    MCBias – I tried to reserve alternating Thursdays for my self-esteem breakdowns, but Holly told me that was your day.

  49. When your physical, linguistic and comedic attributes are all being concurrently judged by a panel of women you’ve never met…it’s never to early in the morning to see where you stand.

  50. Metschick,

    Yeah I have a ton of them from my time in Madrid. I was living there as an English teacher and will move back in a year to open up my own English Academy. The ‘Rastro’ flea market in Madrid has so many of those shirts, they crack me up. People always ask me what ‘Me faltan dos pa’ un trio’ means and I just make stuff up.

    Only in a close second are shirts that are in English in foreign countries that are grammatically incorrect.

  51. When you hit “flirt obnoxiously with a married dude even though it would never go beyond steamy emails or any chance of me showing up unannounced at his house with a gun like Amy Fisher” sad, you know where to reach me.

    I’m kidding. I love my wife. Besides, open philandering on a website run by women can easily drop me several seeds in the tournament. Even worse, I may get dumped altogether and wind up on some sort of NIT invitational women’s sports blog.

  52. Ah, that witty Extra P., got me again. The man’s got progeny. How can I compete with that? I’ll just have to take a long road trip this Thursday to console myself and build up my flagging self-esteem. You know the type of trip I’m talking about, right Extra P.? The type us single guys can take at a drop of a hat, but married people can’t do without 4 weeks of planning and crying children?

  53. But of course, I’d never, ever openly mock a progenitor whose descendants may be changing my sheets at the nursing home someday. Start the contest already, so I can mock bloggers who I don’t appreciate as much as EP.

  54. I don’t know, my son is pretty selfish.

    I’ll bet you get to set the thermostat where you want it and take naps in the middle of the day, too. I despise you.

  55. So I come back from a lost weekend to find I’ve got a cameo in the latest Lost easter egg hunt. (I’m taped on the monitor, upper left corner.) And no visible dart marks, spit, or other unidentifiable substances on my photo. So far, so good.

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  57. Oh man. I don’t have a sticky note. I feel so left out.

    Whatever. I’m still the only one wearing seersucker. And certainly the only one willing to make a mint julep as a bribe.

  58. Is there going to be a play-in game for that 64th spot?

    Don’t worry holydogwater, just remember what your mom always told you growing up — ladies like you, ladies like you, ladies like you! DAMN YOU CHESS CLUB!!!!!!!!

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