Hump Day Hottie: Eye Black

Here’s the thing: every man is hotter in eye black. Especially men of the athlete variety- all instantly made hotter with smears of eye black. Why this is the case, I can only assume because eye black denotes athleticism, physical exertion, sweat, a little bit of rough and tumble and a whole lot of hottness to the female eye. Eye black is undeniably sexy – and when worn by a hot athlete? Damned irresistible.

A whole hell of a lot of hot athletes in eye black after the jump…



This entry was posted in Hump Day Hottie, Texas Gal, thank you sir- may I have some more? by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

38 thoughts on “Hump Day Hottie: Eye Black

  1. It is completely unacceptable, Ladies…, that you would mention eyeblack at all, and not bring up the glory of one Miguel Cabrera. If this is Hott, then I just don’t know what it…

  2. Pam: they’re not, and yet, I love them. I had a great picture of Ray Rice from the Texas Bowl with the eye black stickers on. What I like about the stickers is that it doesn’t run.

    And no man can rock the eye black stickers like Pujols.

  3. Even I can be partial to eye black stickers with the “R” on them. But I kinda like it when the real eye black runs a little, like the last pic of Brady.

  4. I guess it’s because I ‘ve seen so many games where that happens to Wright at the beginning of the game (seriously – how much before the game does he put on the eye black?) that I’ve come to appreciate the aesthetics of the eye black stickers.

  5. Texas Gal – great post. Love the tounge in the 11th pic. That’ll get me through the day. (Tell metschick I called him first.)

  6. Who is the fellow above The Dreamboat? He is way cute.

    Wes Helms is another one who rocks the eyeblack, but he looks like he slathers it on with a brush better suited for barbecueing.

  7. Oh man, Zibby, Pujols AND Brady? WITH EYEBLACK? Too, too good. Also, yes, the real stuff is better than the stickers. Goddamn that picture of Brady is hot (and you know which Brady I’m talking about).

  8. and while we’re on eyeblack stickers, aren’t they uncomfortable? Like do these people wear them just because they can have a silly little graphic on them?

  9. Clare- the guy above Tom Brady is Scott Podsednik of the Chicago White Sox- and a Texan.

    I agree that real eye black is WAY hotter than the stickers- and eye black that’s all smeared and sweaty at the end of a game is the sexiest of all.

  10. That is Scott Po? I never knew that man had so much Hottness!

    TG: I’ll admit it, I like what Reggie did there.

  11. Oh, lord, Metsy- Scotty Po-Po is unbelievably hot. He’ll get a Hump Day Hottie all to himself soon.

    And Reggie is ridiculously good looking, but not with white out on eye black stickers.

  12. Eye black is one of those weird ass things in sports; I wore it every damned game I played in and yet I never really had any idea what benefit I got from it.

    Of-course, if I had known it was hot I would have worn it in every sport I played in not just football!

  13. Ladies, you have made a great contribution to society.

    I will add eye black to my list of things that all men look better in, which thus far includes eyeglasses and fitted caps.

  14. HCIC- the fitted baseball cap instantly takes any man who wears it up a notch on the hot scale. I prefer my bills bent, but not too much… though on certain guys, the flat bill can be hot. (Warning: “certain guys” mostly includes musicians and a small number of athletes- your average joe does not look good in a straight bill)

    Back on topic: eye black makes the world go ’round.

  15. That’s what Nicole Brown Simpson used to say. OJ’s black eye Queen.

    Dana Stubblefield’s wife too. Rod Martin’s too.

    Most pro athletes beat their women. The drugs will do that.

  16. It takes a special kind of person to try and turn a discussion about hot guys into one about drugs, murder and wifebeating. Kudos!

    Now back to the hotties…

  17. Ladies, do you think I should go with eyeblack for my broadcasts? It would be unusual, yes, but could help prevent the glare from blinding me while I look up stats…

  18. Texas Gal, apparently there’s a “ponytail bandit” on the loose. She’s a girl in her 20s who wore a smile and a Texas Longhorns cap when she robbed a bank in Austin. Was that you? ;)

  19. Hah! I emailed Peter at BON about that earlier today. Nope- I’m safely ensconced in Wrigleyville- and I have blonde hair that’s WAY longer than the ponytail on that girl. She was awful cute for a bank robber, though.

  20. oh my god. i love you ladies…. Eventhough there’s only one hour left, you definitely made my wednesday.

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