Hit & Run

Steve Smith will be haunting Carolina strip bars for years to come – he agreed to a three-year contract extension that’ll keep him in teal through the 2012 season.  I can’t find the details, but I know he’ll definitely be able to make it rain. And not like Pacman.

Hee! His fly is open! 

Brad Penny racked up 14 Ks in his dominating performance over the Marlins.   In his first career win over his former team, he pitched 7 shutout innings with no walks and only 5 hits. So, is Penny still dating Alyssa Milano? I can’t keep up.

Carl Pavano is not pleased at the Yankees’ request that he get examined by even more doctors.  Of course he’s not!  He’s probably scared that the doctors might fix him and he’ll actually have to earn the millions they’re paying him! Lazy ho.

UPDATE after the jump!

 Let me preface this by saying I love David Wells.  I think he’s fabulous.  Howevah, he really needs to shut it – he thinks that Roger Clemens’ special perks (such as not traveling with the team) show disrespect to the team.  I kind of agree with him, but guess what?  It’s nobody’s business but the Yankees and Clemens.  So, Wellsy, sorry but SHUT UP!

 In other blowhard news, David Ortiz thinks that we should cheer for Barry BondsNo, seriously. Never mind that it’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face that Bonds used steroids (aw, he thought it was flaxseed oil!).  Ortiz goes on to say: “Have they proved he used steroids?  But it was a cream or something.  He wasn’t injecting anything, right?”  Oh, Papi.  Is that how you justify your steroid use?  (JUST KIDDING – This is not an accusation of steroid use!) 

UPDATE So maybe my pseudo-accusation wasn’t too far off – Ortiz isn’t sure if he has taken steroids. Lemme answer that for you: if you don’t know, it usually means yes.

 The couches were burning bright in Detroit last night: the Red Wings advance to the Western Conference Finals and the Pistons take a commanding 2-0 series lead over the Chicago Bulls. And the Tigers are in second place, half a game behind the Cleveland Indians. Rock on, Detroit!

And in sad news, former world champion Diego “Chico” Corrales was killed last night in a motorcycle accident in Las Vegas. Condolences to his family and friends.

16 thoughts on “Hit & Run

  1. I’ll say another negative thing: his book sucks. It’s so boring. The only reason I continue to read it is because once I shell out $$, I feel that I need to read the damn thing.

  2. TG, I need some scale clarification. Is Wells higher on the douchebaggery scale AND on the asshattery scale, or is his spot different on the different scales? These are the things I need to know.

  3. I am with you on Carl Pavano. He’s a lazy, supposedly-but-not-really pretty-boy pussy. And I wish he would get the hell off my team. As far as I’m concerned, the Yankees should dump him in the same pig trough as Kevin Brown.

  4. flying ace: I got the email advising me about that article and I didn’t even bother clicking on it for lack of time.

    Cameron: finally! Someone else noticed it!

  5. I feel Mr Penny’s pain… In eleventh grade, I was leaving second period chemistry & unbeknownst to me, my fly had come down & Lil’ Disco had slipped out. Nobody noticed, though.

    [ladies’s man]Yeah, that means it’s small… You will never please a woman[/ladies’s man]

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