Hump Day Hottie: Cristiano Ronaldo

Yes, he may be a pretty boy. Yes, he may be a pompous jerk. Yes, he may own more hair products than I do. Yes, he may fancy himself a fashion plate. Yes, he may play for the hated Manchester United. Yes, he may have been named in honor of Ronald Reagan (true story).  All of these things don’t really matter though, because… look at him:

Suddenly, all that other annoying stuff about him becomes irrelevant, no? And there’s lots more where that came from…

And, of course, I have to post this gem:

Bonus: Cristiano in a commercial, playing a little street soccer football- and looking mighty fine doing so.

This entry was posted in Hump Day Hottie, soccer, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

20 thoughts on “Hump Day Hottie: Cristiano Ronaldo

  1. Wow. That one IS photoshopped. Still, it’s hilarious.

    I’m just glad you didn’t pick a player from Chelsea. I’ve only been keeping track of soccer since the World Cup, yet I already F’ing hate Chelsea. I’m glad Liverpool beat them and showed that Russian bastard he can’t buy a Champions League title.

  2. Thanks to the Hump Day Hottie, I have finally been able to get my girlfriends to start viewing blogs (instead of their elitist, “are you sure you’re not a boy” response). Namely, yours. Thank you, Ladies…Minds are opening all over the country, if only for a shot of ass!

  3. You don’t know how awesome it is to know the Ladies… are bringing more ladies into the fold. If it takes pictures of Cristiano Ronaldo in his underwear to do it, well I’m happy to do that for ladies everywhere. I’ll make that sacrifice!

  4. I understand the novelty of exchanging jerseys, but shorts? Really?

    Unless they’re monogrammed, or at least have the uniform number of the player, what’s special enough about them to trade?

    (No offense. Esp. if you like ass in briefs. Make me think he’s still a little boy, though.)

    (Boxers always. Or commando.)


    C. Ronaldo is a whiny little primadonna, a flopper of the utmost ugliness (on the pitch), and the worst part of all is that he absolutely is the most talented player on the planet right now, so he doesn’t HAVE to play like such a little bitch to get an advantage, he CHOOSES to play that way. If that’s not the ultimate turn-off for the ladies, I don’t know what is (and I play have to start flopping at my games. even though I play keeper).

  6. Mike

    A fellow Tar Heel shouldn’t hate Chelsea, especially just because they WIN.

    Ronaldo is a tool of the highest order, a rotten sod who looks as if he should be playing the Eurotrash villain in a late 80’s American Ninja movie. He may have the tools, however, he is NOT the best player on the planet right now.

  7. Where is the bum in briefs photo from? Is from a game or practice? Why does he not have something else on? lovely. :-D

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