Hotness, Thy Name Is The Oakland A’s

Oakland Athletics- I am at your mercy.

The offseason acquisition of uber-hottie Todd Walker proved your commitment to continuing your tradition of holding the hottest roster in all of baseball, and for that I saluted you… nay, I worshipped at your altar of awesomeness. I thought y’all could not possibly field a hotter team. Oh, how wrong I was. With your trade for Ryan Langerhans over the weekend, you have taken the game to a whole ‘nother level. Oakland A’s, I stand and give you a slow clap – and I support your continued march of world domination.

Haven’t been converted to the Church of Hot that is the A’s? Just take a look at the roster after the jump…

With the hottness of Ryan Langerhans, the A’s should be nigh unstoppable.

This entry was posted in MLB, Oakland Athletics, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

19 thoughts on “Hotness, Thy Name Is The Oakland A’s

  1. Now, for the A’s hotness to grow their mustaches out, like the ’72-4 World Series champs.

    & for Vancouver’s Hot Hot Heat to write the team song.

  2. If only there were some correlation between team hotness and run-scoring ability (Piazza is leading the team with a .274 BA, yikes!)…thanks for the A’s love tho, Texas Gal

  3. Sorry, Funky. It’s still early yet, though.

    Also: Eric Chavez is pretty. On any other team, he’d be the hottest guy hands down. Unfortunately, he’s being compared to two of my very favorites.

  4. Sadly, despite any hotness heretoforthwith, you’re still talking about Oakland. And, well, Oakland is in Oakland.

    Also, nothing like one of the last remaining baseball/come-football-season shared playing field left in any league. No one (and I mean NO ONE) looks good taking second base to third with the faint hint of the 35-to-40 yard markers still glaring in the hazy NorCal sun.

    P.S. How old is Mike Piazza? -TSB

  5. Awwww- I had an awesome time at the A’s game I went to. Also, I’m definitely not saying I’d take up residence- but a few conjugal visits with the team would be fun.

    But, I totally agree on the football stadium thing. I’m going to see a series of Marlins games down in Miami, and the thought of watching baseball in Dolphin Stadium gives me the shivers.

  6. Yep, that’s my team. Some of us are blessed because our team plays in a crappy division; some of us are blessed with hotness.

  7. bristlesage- the A’s aren’t just “blessed”… they’re bursting at the seams with hotness. At least you’ve got that to hold on to, if nothing else. What do Colorado Rockies fans have?

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