NBA Pacific: Gonna Wash That Division Right Outta My Hair

So, somehow Lady Andrea really got the short straw when it came to NBA Hotties. I mean, Texas Gal got the tag-team of Arenas and Wade and I got freakin’ Kobe Bryant, who is objectively good-looking but I cannot stand. The Pacific Division overall is totally busted. Anyway, I did happen to find some WOW HOT pictures of Amare Stoudemire from the Phoenix Suns, so that sort of made up for it. God bless America, indeed.  He can pledge my allegiance.  Or something.  There’s more where that came from after the jump…

In terms of the standings, the Phoenix Suns are the division winners and have secured a play-off spot. The Lakers, Clippers and Warriors are left to fight it out to see which two out of the three of them will take spots #7 & 8 in the playoffs. There are only 2 or 3 games left for each team, so it will probably come right down to the wire. On to the hotties. Up first, when the stars start to shine like you’ve had to much wine, that’s Amare:

Kobe Bryant plays guard for the Lakers. He routinely scores 50 points. Good for him.

Mike Bibby plays guard for the Sacramento Kings and is adorable.

Vitaly Potapenko, which I think might also be the name of the physics-be-damned ice skating move from The Cutting Edge, also plays for the Kings as a center and is very good looking. I love the shaved head and the scruff. He’s also 6’10. I’d scale him like a mountain. CALL ME! We’ll spawn a race of tall, hot children.

16 thoughts on “NBA Pacific: Gonna Wash That Division Right Outta My Hair

  1. Kobe Bryant plays guard for the Lakers. He routinely scores 50 points. Good for him.


    I can’t help but think of AnalRapist when I think of Kobe. And I’m not talking about the Deadspin commenter.

  2. I am so glad NOT to see Steve Nash on this list. I hear some women talk about how they think he is hot. He is fugly.

  3. “He can pledge my allegiance.”

    Leave it to bloody Americans to turn any phrase into a double entendre.

    “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind vacuuming her Teletubbies, if you know what I mean.” See, that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, but because of context it sounds dirty. You have to love the English language.

  4. awww, come on! Brad Miller! I looooove me some Brad Miller.

    I’m not going to argue w/ the Amare pick, but…well, Raja Bell is sexy. AND he clotheslined Kobe in the playoffs last year. it was hot.

    also, skipping the GSW completely…cold. I mean if Miss World (I don’t know how that’s different from Miss Universe, but whatever) thinks Sarunas is hot, who are we go argue?

    AND, I was going to mention how much I love Chris Mihm, but I think at this point I’m starting to just feel like a racist bc I profess my love of tall white boys so much. instead, may I point you in the direction of Ronny Turiaf? give him a shave and a haircut and he’s a HANDSOME funky dancing Frenchman.

  5. I don’t feel that bad for the GSW. I looked at every player’s headshot to determine hotness, then went searching for other pictures for the ones I liked. The GSW’s headshots were busted.

  6. I want to touch Amare’s abs. And trace his tattoos with my tongue just a little bit. Aside from Laker hate and being sick of San Antonio, another reason for a Pistons fan like myself to pull for the Suns this year. Have to watch SOMETHING besides freaking Tayshaun Prince and Rashweed Wallace. Joe Dumars may know how to build a team, but he sure has no gauge on good lookin’.

  7. Just for the record: I was intrigued by your reaction to the “chocolatey goodness.” I’m not affirming your conclusion. I generally don’t take stances on guys. I’ll just sit back and watch you ladies do it.

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