This hottie selection was hard to put together. Not because the Southeast Division (of the Eastern Conference, for those of you keeping score at home) is lacking in hotties- because that is most certainly not the case. Two of the hottest men in the NBA play in this division, and would make any all-NBA hottie list. The problem is that I had to drag myself away kicking and screaming from my current obsession with baseball to make it happen- and that’s no easy task. So when I tell you that I was more than rewarded for my efforts with a treasure trove of hotties in the SE, you gotta know these guys are HOTT. With two T’s, y’all.
Sweet lord, could there be a finer sandwich to get in the middle of?
Check out the full hottie lineup after the jump.
And just because I can, let’s move through the conference in reverse order of the standings. This will be the first time the Hawks will be at the top of the Division all year.
You see that sweet face, and those pretty eyes- and you note that he runs a basketball camp for underprivileged kids and does charity work for his church and headlines a reading initiative, and you go… Awwww! But lovely Lorenzen doesn’t mess around– and he wears a size 16 1/2 shoe. Does it make me a bad person if his ability to throw a punch makes him hotter to me than the fact that he went back to college (Memphis) to get his degree after he’d already made it in the NBA?
Firstly, Chukwuemeka Ndubuisi Okafor (a/k/a Emeka) is a Texan- and a fellow Houstonian, born and raised. That alone would get him a spot on the roster- but fortunately, he’s really gorgeous, so he deserves it. I mean, those lovely big brown eyes! Those lovely arms! So hot. And he’s a whiz on the court, that’s a given. But he’s also extremely smart- he majored in finance at UConn, and graduated with honors (in just 3 years!). His first name translates to “God has done well” in his parents native Nigerian tongue. With Emeka? Yes, yes he has.
Awwww, yeah. Kickin’ it old school with Grant Hill. Remember back in the day when he and Penny used to tear it up? I don’t care what anyone says, Grant is still a fox. Yes, I might be biased that he’s another Texan (especially since his dad played for my beloved Dallas Cowboys), but the guy is just cool. And even though he’s a Dukie (retch), he is part of one of the greatest college finishes of all time- when his team was down 1 against Kentucky, with 2 seconds to go, and he chunked the ball inbounds down to Christian Laettner on the other side of the court for a buzzer-beating layup to win the game.
And now we come to the men of the hour, the peanut butter and jelly of the hottie sandwich. And both these guys have had a rough 2007- with one out on the DL for awhile (but back now, thankfully) and the other definitely out of the post-season. Doesn’t matter, they both make the All-Hot Team.
Agent Zero and all his Gilbertology may be loopy, but good god a’mighty is he hot. He blogs (and is wicked funny). He plays video games. He dunks balls using a trampoline. He uses halftime to the fullest, either playing online poker or taking a shower still dressed in full uniform. His birthday parties are the stuff of legends (complete with ice sculptures of himself, natch). He throws his shoes and jersey into the crowd after every game. He likes infomercials. He tried to vote himself into the All-Star game once. He donated $100 for every point he scored this season to D.C. schools. Hell yeah, he’s hot. Hot like a Hibachi.
It is a waste of time, energy and space to put up words about Dwyane. Instead, let’s just get down to brass tacks, and look at picture after picture of his hotness. Click on any of the images below to see them in all their full-size glory.