This is going to be quick because I’m sitting in my car in front of an Embassy Suites, stealing their wireless and hoping that the guy with the Hokies dufflebag hits my car with his luggage cart again.
Confidential to the Guy with the Hokies Dufflebag: Why can’t you just carry the damn thing? Also, when people refer to “matching luggage”, they do not mean that you and your suitcase should both be clad in the same garish orange and maroon combination, although that is one classy windsuit.
I’m visiting my parents’ new place in South Carolina, and getting here involved driving past a number of houses I recognized from the covers of Nancy Drew books, past a combination Bojangles/Pharmacy (Come for the chicken! Stay for the Lipitor!) and eventually stopped for dinner at a place that encouraged you to place your scraps in a giant receptacle in the parking lot that was marked “Food for Cats”. They also sold gas.
But the most distressing part of the weekend is that certified tastycakes Andy Roddick and James Blake are in my hometown! staying within digital zoom range of my house! playing for the United States in the Davis Cup! and I’m here, in a place where the hotties to Hermit Crab ratio is approximately 1 : 9,400.
Oh James, I would’ve invited you over for dinner and pudding.
OK, apparently Hokies guy is also a tattletale because there’s a guy with a green nametag coming toward my car. Guess I’m leaving…and I didn’t even get to try their complimentary breakfast.