Baseball Players Are Like Fine Wines…

In this case, the Red Sox players in question actually ARE the fine wines- all in the name of charity. Manny may be crazy, Schilling may be difficult (if you’re not reading his blog, you should be- I actually kind of like him now)- but for some reason I think a glass of “Manny Being Merlot” or “Schardonnay” would be strangely satisfying. And I’m sure there’s a wicked aftertaste.

Now where are the hottie wines? I’d pay top dollar for a bottle of Jacoby Ellsbury, Javier Lopez or Kyle Jackson. And you can’t tell me a Dice-K Gyrowürztraminer wouldn’t be a big hit.

[Boston Herald]

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About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

19 thoughts on “Baseball Players Are Like Fine Wines…

  1. The Dice-K Gyrowürztraminer would probably go well with some Indian food.

    Henry Sauvignon Blanco? Reynel Pinto Pinot Gris? Lou Boudreau Bordeaux?

    Rod ‘Mal’beck? Would Andre Galarraga have the Big Cat Muscat? Ok that’s pushing it. I’m done.

  2. I’m sorry, but you just combined three of my passions – baseball, wine and bad puns/jokes.

    Highly touted Braves pitcher BeauJoneslais Nouveau is a good prospect that fans would like to enjoy prematurely. But ideally he needs more time to develop.

    PeteJayHawk – What’s yucky about Gewurztraminers?

  3. What about a Big Papi Porto? It’s heavy, but really, really good.

    I’ll bet the JD Brew is awful.

    Matsuzaka’s alcoholic beverage can only be “Dai-Sake”.

  4. My dad found a bottle of Bobby Douglass wine somewhere. No puns or anything in the name, there were a couple other old Bears players in the series but I don’t remember the others.

    My contribution to the puns: Jose Rijoja

  5. YDD, it’s funny you mention that considering he owns a bar (and accompanying restaurant and accompanying hotel) in Lawrence. I wonder how much he’d pay to get that.

  6. I’d pay top dollar for a bottle of Jacoby Ellsbury, Javier Lopez or Kyle Jackson

    I’d slurp that right up.


  7. I would think Schilling might not want his image over the word “Longball”.

    We didn’t drink much wine until we went to California on our honeymoon, but I still don’t know shit about it. I just pick the one with the coolest label. In wine circles, I’m like the person who wins the NCAA pool because they picked the coolest mascot.

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