Hit and Run- Opening Day

Opening Day means it’s all baseball, all the time around here- at least for 24 hours. Let’s check in on a few of our (OK, my) favorite baseball hotties…

* Our favorite pretty prancing princess partyboy Pat Burrell got a lot of attention over the weekend for his attempt at keeping up foreign relations, Maverick & Goose style. Maybe he cashed in that “Get Out of Trouble Free” card he earned from popping a 2-run homer against newly sainted Red Sock Dice-K. [Watch Pat the Bat go yard on Dice-K] (courtesy Balls Sticks & Stuff) But flipping off the team’s manager is not likely to get him a spot on the Sox roster via trade anytime soon- even if it means Boston would get to unload Schilling in the process. [Keep dreaming about that Burrell-Schilling trade, kids]

Pat enjoys swinging his bat, even in the (triple A) locker room

* No pressure, lovely Texan hottie Scott Podsednik– it’s just that the success of the entire White Sox season depends solely on you, apparently. [Ozzie says you don’t get on base, but you can always get on base with me] Let’s try and get back to the Scotty Po-Po of 2005, as opposed to the Scotty No-No of 2006 — you’ve even got that blue seat marking your homer in the outfield of the Cell to remind you. [If you hadn’t homered off my Astros, and ruined Brad Lidge in the process, I’d celebrate that memory a lot more]

* Alex Rodriguez to the Cubs? Really? Somehow I don’t think Cezar Izturis is going to be keen on being A-Rod’s new BFF/Jeter. [Unsubstantiated rumors are fun!]

* Welcome back to the land of the living, Joe Mauer. Sure, you came back from a weeklong injury absence and stepped up with a game-tying double (3 RBI)- but doing it with your “Big Stick” gets you bonus style points. No woman can resist a Big Stick, especially one wielded by a hottie in a baseball uniform. [Walk softly and carry Joe’s bat]

Truth in advertising

* Sometimes the best thing to cure a broken heart is a rebound relationship. The Oakland A’s are playing rebound girl for Todd Walker, and signed him to a minor league contract just four days after he was unceremoniously dumped by the Padres. With Dan “Miami Vice” Johnson on the DL, and Nick “Watch Me” Swisher likely to be needed in the OF to cover for Kotsay, the 33 year-old hot-Toddie is lookin’ mighty fine indeed to the A’s for the 1B slot. I’m just looking forward to seeing him in Athletics green- which should be even more flattering than Padres blue. [Oakland acquires Todd Walker, makes a serious run at “hottest team in baseball” title]

* And how about a sweet note to wrap things up? Nomar Garciaparra was back at Dodger Stadium and working on Friday after his (kickass) wife Mia Hamm had twin girls Grace and Ava Garciaparra last Tuesday, 5 weeks ahead of schedule. [What boy could ever possibly be cool enough to date a daughter of Nomaaahhh and Mia Hamm?]

This entry was posted in Can I help you with that big stick?, Hit and Run, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

7 thoughts on “Hit and Run- Opening Day

  1. Hell, it’s all baseball, all the time in my head anyways. Might as well have Ladies… agree with me for a day (or until the Florida/Ohio game tonight).

  2. Oh, Grace and Ava are sweet names. Classic, elegant, and they work well with that ridiculously long last name of his.

  3. Thanks for providing hottie consulting on the Voodoo Sabermetrics board, TG. Hopefully we’ll actually profile someone… hot, in the near future. I don’t think Zumaya is going to cut it.

  4. It’s going to be hilarious when Nomaaaahhhh and Mia’s little girls grow up to be, like, an actuary and an accountant. Ava and Grace are great names, though.

  5. So, is it AH-vah, or EH – vah? I prefer the hard a of action, but most correct me & say it’s the soft a of April.

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