Since my office blocks WordPress, I have to make these posts at Panera or other establishments that offer free wi-fi (with food or beverage purchase). Ducking out to write today’s Hit-and-Run means that I have to miss the Sales & Marketing luncheon. Actually, I would’ve skipped it on principle because I refuse to take part in any office activity that is promoted by an email full of clip art. I fail to be enticed by a giant bitmap of a smiling fork.
On with the hotness…
It’s already Friday night in Australia, which means Michael Phelps has set yet another world record, this time with the help of other hot, hairless swimmers in the 800m relay. Phelps has won five gold medals and set four world records at the World Championships, which means he breaks records faster than I break hearts. OK, that’s a lie, but it sounds better than the truth…”faster than I break yet another damn IKEA shelf by putting a potted Aloe Vera plant on it”. Even though this article doesn’t say so, Michael Phelps shaves his entire body. I just know it.
Congratulations to the West Virginia Mountaineers who won the Mastercard NIT Mastercard Tournament brought to you by Mastercard by beating the Clemson Tigers 78-73. Hopefully, Mastercard’s ad wizards will create some sort of commemorative commercial with poignant lines like “Value of college scholarship= $112,000; Plane tickets to New York for family members= $867; Hoping WVU can afford color pictures next year= Priceless.” Mountaineers silence critics, prove they’re #66!
In cricket news, Anil “Jumbo” Kumble has announced that he’s retiring from one-day cricket. Kumble is India’s most successful bowler, having taken 500 wickets, put another two or three goo-goos on the blinky, gone ’round the widget and Bob’s yer uncle. Whatever the hell that means… dude’s still hot. And his nickname’s “Jumbo”, which you don’t get by by being a poor leg-spinner, you know? Sometimes, cricket terminology sounds dirty.
Finally, the Ladies… give props to Ria Cortesio, professional baseball’s only female umpire, who had a “flawless” afternoon working the Cubs 7-4 exhibition win over the Diamondbacks yesterday. She has worked in AA ball for 5 years, where one manager once commented “If you didn’t see that ponytail, you wouldn’t know she was a woman out there”. Um, and that’s a compliment, I guess. She says that best-case scenario, she’ll be getting cursed by fans in the Majors by 2009.
Happy Friday. Anyone know if I can expense this Cinnamon Crunch bagel?