* Chase Utley is a dirty, dirty boy. [Packer gives his annual thoughts on the Phillies] Also, how awesome is it that sunflower seeds are counted as part of the team’s “equipment”?
* Beware: David Aardsma keeps handcuffs in the bedroom- and he’s not afraid to use ’em. [Be careful snooping on Sox pitcher — you might get cuffed]
* Brady Quinn is bored with your photoshoots, Nike- but gets excited when talking about a Hummer. [Notre Dame’s Quinn finds photo shoot a bit odd]
I’m not very popular with the females- maybe it’s my ugly face?
* Screaming girls is just a hazard of the job for Nick Markakis. [Markakis silences critics, elicits yells from ladies]
* Ryan Howard does not have time for your silly questions, reporters. He’s got to celebrate (self-proclaimed) Ryan Howard Day. [Frustrated with slump, Howard snaps at writer]
* Farewell to the Victors – Lloyd Carr dismisses three lawbreakers from the Michigan football team, as expected. All the Buckstache wearers in Ohio gleefully burn their couches. [U-M’s Carr dismissses 3 players from team]