In Defense of My First Baseball Boyfriend

So, here’s the thing Bud Selig: screw you. No, seriously- screw you. Forget the 1994 debacle, forget the All-Star Game tie, forget the steroid & drug problems, forget the DirectTV finger you flipped to fans everywhere… this time, you’ve gone too far. Instead of spending time focusing on the HUGE problems facing Major League Baseball right now (the ‘roids and Extra Innings being two of them), you’ve chosen instead to nitpick Craig Biggio (aka my First Baseball Boyfriend) for wearing a pin on his hat. During spring training. That he’s worn for almost 20 years with no problem. That represents CHILDREN WITH CANCER.

Bud Selig hates cancer kids. And puppies. And Jesus.

For real? This causes you so much distress, Bud, that you got a lackey in your office to fax the Astros clubhouse to tell Craig to stop wearing the offending pin (again, the same pin he’s worn for 20 years)- and even better, just to add a little bit extra twist to the knife, you have them include a picture of him wearing the pin on Wednesday (as though perhaps Craig and the Astros are too stupid to know what pin you’re talking about). Why? What could possibly be the big freakin’ deal?

It’s good to know the commish cares.

This entry was posted in baseball boyfriend, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

9 thoughts on “In Defense of My First Baseball Boyfriend

  1. I don’t know… it does kind of clash with the hat. Bud probably would have thought a nice silver pin would have been okay. Or maybe if Craig, like Bonds, was giving the kid the finger instead of an autograph… I think Bud would have been okay with that. At least he’s never complained about it in the past.

  2. Fuck Bud Selig. I hate all these tiny uniform quibbles. It seems so fucking petty. Especially when it’s for charity stuff! Pisses me off.

  3. Maybe it’s early, but doesn’t “assbud” sound like a great new swear word? Like:
    “Did you hear what that assbud did yesterday? He fined some dude for wearing a cancer-is-bad pin in his hat.”
    “Man… what a total freaking assbud that assbud must be.”

  4. Arthur Rhodes would like to have a word with Texas Gal.

    “It’s always about the kids… with cancer, with you, isn’t it? What about the bling, baby? What about it? Can we get some love for the rock that they made take out my ear?”

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