NHL Northwest All-Division Hottie Team: An Avalanche of Hot Guys

This post has been really educational for me. I decided that I like hockey (especially in person) awhile back when I went to one of Notre Dame’s hockey games. It was surprisingly fun and as I said, the smoothness and fluidity of the game coupled with the violence of the players is…..well, kinda hot. It’s a much sexier sport than I thought it would be. Also, it is full of hot guys. Like, CHOCK FULL of PILFs. Hee hee. I feel the need to single out the Colorado Avalanche. They make up 4 of my 6 All-Division Hottie Team and I could’ve included more but wanted to spread the wealth around. I’ve decided that this is a good enough reason as any to start rooting for them (I also like their home jerseys a lot). Also, as Sam Seaborn says, “Let’s forget about the fact that you’re coming a little late to the party and embrace the idea that you showed up at all.”

As far as playoffs go, the division leader of the Northwest is still not locked-up, as Vancouver has 87 pts and Minnesota is nipping at their heels with 83. I recently discovered that the 3 division leaders make the play-offs, followed by whichever 5 teams have the most points. A team gets 2 pts for a win, 1 pt for an overtime loss and 0 pts for a regulation loss. That’s an interesting system. I am intrigued and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. That picture is Dryden’s goalie mask for the Edmonton Oilers and it terrifies me. As a girl who used to watch Friday the 13th movies and scare herself silly, I am going to have nightmares about that mask.

The Northwest division has Vancouver on top and has Minnesota and Calgary occupying the #7 & 8 spots on the playoff list. However, spots 5-8 have 83-81 pts, so that clusterfuck is still up-for-grabs. Alas, the poor hot Colorado Avalanche are in the #9 spot, but have only 73 pts. They really need to ride the momentum of their current 5-game winning streak into the push towards the playoffs. There are 14 games left and I say they can do it! I think (theoretically) that the Northwest Division could put 4 teams in. They probably won’t, but that’s what I’ll be following for the next 3 weeks or so. By the way, Edmonton is out of the race. I mean, maybe not “mathematically eliminated” (I didn’t crunch the numbers) but they’re pretty far behind.

Northwest All-Division Hottie Team

Left Wing: Taylor Pyatt, Vancouver Canucks, 6’4, 220. Says he would be a firefighter if he didn’t play hockey. Had 5 goals in the 2005-06 playoffs (Buffalo Sabres).


Center: Brad Richardson, Colorado Avalanche, 5’11, 180. Played 41 games with Colorado last year in his first year in the NHL. His ideal golf foursome would be Tiger Woods, George Bush and Mike Tyson. Hmmmmm. I’ll just ignore that while we make out. He is also listed as a boating enthusiast, or a guy who likes to boat.


Right Wing: Marek Svatos, Colorado Avalanche, 5’10, 185. Has been playing for Colorado for 2 years. Last year, he finished 3rd among NHL rookies in goals scored, despite missing the final 20 games of the season. Impressive. If Colorado makes the playoffs, I’m buying his jersey. That’s your incentive, Svatos. Hop to it.


Mark Giordano, Calgary Flames, 6’0, 200. Appears to be in his first year in the NHL, he has 7 goals and 8 assists. I’m a sucker for battle wounds and I find his black eye totally sexy. I need help.


Patrice Brisebois, Colorado Avalanche, 6’2, 200. Played for Montreal for 14 years until being traded to Colorado 3 years ago. Nickname is Breezer and his ideal golf foursome would include Tiger Woods, racecar driver Michael Schumacher, and Bono. Hmmmmmm….not as bad as Richardson, but still.


Goalie: Jose Theodore, Colorado Avalanche, 5’11, 180. Played for Montreal for 10 years before being traded to Colorado a year ago. In 2001-02, he won the Hart Trophy for NHL MVP and is one of only 6 goalies to ever win that award.

10 thoughts on “NHL Northwest All-Division Hottie Team: An Avalanche of Hot Guys

  1. Wow, worlds are colliding. Made a comment earlier on Deadspin that I was turned when I saw my friend play live in South Bend. Hockey live is kick ass. Baba Oje- saw your response there and you are right on.

    I now go see semi-pro hockey often in my town, and while the 11-9 games aren’t the same, they’re entertaining (and the the $3, 26oz beers at the rink don’t hurt.)

  2. Edmonton also traded their best player, Ryan Smyth at the deadline (he was the guy who cried because it was his hometown team), so they essentially gave up

  3. I’m all for the Brisebois pick. I still hate him from his Montreal days but he’s hot so I generally look past it. Also for future reference, Taylor Pyatt has a younger brother (Tom, Rangers draft pick) who is also super cute.

  4. Pingback: Tom

  5. Hot europeans? Hot CANADIANS.

    As for Ryan Smith, he is not from Edmonton, though it was his fave team all his life. He is a born and bred Banff boy

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