* Javier Vasquez signs a 3 year/$34.5 million extension with the White Sox; the ladies of Chicago swoon. [Sox’s GM doing some cash talking with Vazquez]
* Meanwhile, on the other side of Chicago (not really, they’re still in Spring Training!), Mark Prior has been moved to the bullpen for his next outing. It’s always sad to see a hottie made of glass. [Prior gets relief role in Cubs’ Saturday game]
* David Eckstein may be short, but he’s got a huge … sense of humor! [Lowell Spinners will hold David Eckstein Step Stool Giveaway Night]
* NASCAR hottie Juan Pablo Montoya’s move was legal, say NASCAR officials. I say, he can bump me anytime he wants. [Juan Pablo Montoya did not merge into the field illegally as several competitors insisted]
* Jon Lester beats cancer. Who wants to bet this hottie does super-human things on the field this year? [Lester feels normal in first game after cancer treatments]
Hells yeah, I beat cancer!