Fashion Police

No. Just… no.

Listen up Syracuse, Florida, Ohio State and Arizona- do not do this. Do not fall prey to the same disease Oregon caught in football (with their tire tread prints) and adopt these stupid looking “System of Dress” unis from Nike. Sure, every girl likes to see a man working out in a tight Under Armour-style shirt… but we do not want our basketball players wearing them on the court. Plus, the shorts look ridiculous. And is that a gator skin print I see on the Florida sleeve?  Oh, hell no.  If the rumors are true, you’ll show up to games wearing these atrocities starting tomorrow- please let these rumors turn out to be false. Don’t do this to us.


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About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

19 thoughts on “Fashion Police

  1. Yeah- the baggy shorts look three times as baggy when paired with the skin-tight shirt. And I shudder to think what these would look like once VaTech or Miami got ahold of them.

  2. Aren’t sneakers with dresses a little gauche, gentlemen? I prefer to wear high heels or strappy sandals with mine.

  3. Those uniforms are totally retarded, no doubt about it, but at least Nike’s designers grasp the concepts of volume and proportion; If you’re going to wear something voluminous on the bottom, it needs to be paired with a slim top.

  4. You can count on Nike to attempt to fix what wasn’t broken in the first place. Florida looks like the introduction of “one sleeve only,” which needs to be stopped before it gets started.

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