Bringing the Heat – Detroit Tigers: Bonus Granderson Interview and Player Yearbook Photos Included!

It is almost not fair. We have been doing this MLB “Bringing the Heat” series all summer long; team by team, hottie by hottie, forearm by forearm, smile by smile, glute by glute, and I would wager that none – none – of the other teams even come close to stacking up to how hot the Detroit Tigers’ roster is on and off the field.

Our readers have been emailing all summer waiting for this post. They knew that here at Ladies…, not only were we going to find the best looking guys on the team, but we were going make sure to serve it up with something a little special. Well, how about a couple helpings of something special?

In a Ladies… first, an interview with Detroit center fielder and fellow blogger, Curtis Granderson. Followed by a full on smorgasboard of the finest looking Tigers in the land. And for dessert? How about some of cutest yearbook photos of Sean “The Mayor” Casey you will ever see?

I thought you’d be interested.

Batting first, as always, Mr. Granderson.

Friday Football Foodie – 9-Layer Ranchero Dip Kickoff Special

Your fantasy picks are set. You have put fresh batteries in the Tivo remote for your own instant replays. You have either ordered the NFL Sunday Ticket or have memorized the NFL local broadcast and blackout maps.

You are ready for football.

You have been training for this for weeks. Pizza Loaves with Watermelon-Vodka Slushees, Buffalo Chicken Dips with Blueberri Stoli Lemon Fizz, Mexican Pinwheels and Mary Pickfords, and homemade corn dogs with Rusty Nails. You even took a field trip out to check out some local Chicago sports bars over on Deadspin.

You are ready for football.

And on this, the holiest of weekends until the playoffs start, you are ready to tackle the greatest Football Foodie dish there is known to fans everywhere: The 9-Layer Rachero Dip. Also this week, Cocktail of the Week’s “Lucky Glass” and New Product Review: NBC’s Sunday Night Football has their own “Football Foodies”.

You will need -

Welcome to the Vajungle

That’s right. The Ladies… are the Deadspin guest editors this weekend.

You’re welcome to join us. Just look with your eyes, not with your hands.

Hot Blogger Bracket – We’re Crowning His Ass

Congratulations Holy Dog Water, you are the

Ladies Hot Blogger King.

All it took was one comment out of 523 (at last count) when we had to shut the voting down to win our hearts.

The Hot Blogger Bracket: A call to arms. And abs.

Bracket season has come and gone. The draft was ten years ago in internets time. What’s a number-crunching sports fan to do?

Never fear. The Ladies… proudly present: The 2007 Hot Blogger Bracket!

How This Will Work:

1. You have to be a guy. (Sorry, girls; for objectification of the fairer sex we direct you to the majority of our compatriots in the sidebar.)

2. You have to run or contribute substantially to a sports blog. (Exactly what constitutes “substantial” will be determined on a case-by-case basis by the Ladies…, and not open to appeals.)

3. You will submit one (1) recent photo, of you, in focus, that gives a good look at your face and any other assets you wish to emphasize, and one (1) link to a post you feel best represents your superiority as a writer.

4. The Ladies… will spend what’s sure to be a delightful few days judging your sweet asses, and come up with a field, the size of which will be a multiple of four and determined by the quantity and quality of entries.

5. We’ll post our choices in bracket form, and here’s where the real fun begins. Voting for each round will take a couple days. Cheating, shenanigans, and ballot-stuffing are encouraged, especially if they’re undertaken in a blatant and hilarious manner. We remind all entrants that we are susceptible to flattery.

6. Repeat as needed until the champion emerges, to be showered with florid prose (by us) and mocked roundly (by the losers) until next year. Given proper incentive, we may even scare up a couple prizes.

And that’s it. Please direct all submissions to ladiesdotdotdot@gmail.com. You have until 11:59 PM PDT, Friday, May 11.

Go.

*(subject to change without notice at our whim. girls are fickle. affirmed.)

March Madness with the KSK Mafia: What a lovely party.

Well, that happened.

Thanks to everyone who came out today to watch the carnage unfold at Kissing Suzy Kolber. Thanks also to our mostly gracious hosts, who, it can truly be said, took their defeat like men. We’re particularly obliged to Monday Morning Punter for his part in the plotting of this whole ordeal, and most especially to flubby, who maintained uncanny patience today when dealing with Holly and her incompatible stylesheet-manglings. Boys, you truly put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop…or, should we say, the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?

For our part, it’s been a blast. Hope y’all enjoyed the show as much as we loved putting it on.

Know Your Ladies… #3 – The Clip Show

So the season is going well, we’ve picked up in the ratings, and we have plenty of new eyeballs checking out the hotties we’ve been offering up each day.  But maybe you’re new here and might have missed some of our finer pieces of stalking works.   (If you are truly interested in the actual Ladies, check out Know Your Ladies #1 and Know Your Ladies #2.   You’re really here for our brains, so please, read on… )

Ladies… Tag Teams Events -

TexasGal and Metschick put on their helmets and their safety goggles to go Mining for Hotties in the Baseball Prospect Top 100. 

Holly and TheStarterWife take on David Beckham’s ego and fanfic and are scarred for life.

All the Ladies become Masters of their own domain, which seems like a good idea after a spirited discussion about doing Chris Berman.

March Madness with the KSK Mafia: The calm before the takedown.

Once upon a time, we made a friendly little wager with the lads of KSK. We stumbled, sobbed incoherently, giggled hysterically, and bit our nails in a most unattractive manner for three weeks. In a juju Hail Mary, we even aligned our fortunes with Buckeye Nation.

And Basketball Jesus (there’s a separate one for basketball), in his infinite wisdom, bestowed victory on the worthier party.

And there was much rejoicing.

[I'm going to try my best to get through the rest of this post without referencing Bill Pullman's speech to the pilots in the American cinema classic Independence Day, but it is absolutely killing me. --Ed.]

Tomorrow is zero hour, where “zero” implies “vajayjay”. As agreed, the Ladies… will have the run of Kissing Suzy Kolber for one glorious day. A day of bunnies. A day of Bedazzlers. A day of kittens and puppies and rainbow sunsets and unicorns fucking in grassy fields. The KSK Mafia are doing their best to put on brave faces. Fear not, boyos. Our mission statement promises we don’t kiss nice, but we won’t leave any marks on your back that aren’t purely recreational.

Would you…listen to what she’s saying Part IV: Suzy Kolber and Rachel Nichols

As we noted earlier in our “Would you do Chris Berman” post, over at The Big Picture they’re having a nice little bracket seeding the female broadcasters against each other in a “Would you…” tourney. Their “Would you…” usually ends with comments that would make Red Buttons Andrew Dice ClayBob Saget blush. Now while we Ladies are far from shrinking violets, we were better off not knowing what “DSL” meant.

So for the rest of “Would you…” tournament, we’re going to give you the reasons why we like these women. Today we’ll see J-Money profile Suzy Kolber and Holly take on (oh, behave) Rachel Nichols. Join us, won’t you?

Would You….Listen to What She’s Saying Part III: Pam Oliver and Stacey Dales

As we noted earlier in our “Would you do Chris Berman” post, over at The Big Picture they’re having a nice little bracket seeding the female broadcasters against each other in a “Would you…” tourney. Their “Would you…” usually ends with comments that would make Red Buttons Andrew Dice Clay Bob Saget blush. Now while we Ladies are far from shrinking violets, we were better off not knowing what “DSL” meant.

So for the rest of “Would you…” tournament, we’re going to give you the reasons why we like these women. Today SA is telling you all about Pam Oliver and Lady Andrea is letting you know about the finer points of Stacey Dales.

Tom Brady’s Virility: Jump on Board!

I’m sure it’s not news to the sports world that super-studly, model-datin’, jeans-ad doin’, butt-chin havin’, actually-gets-a-ting-sound-when-he-smiles Tom Brady has two kids on the way. He has impregnated his current girlfriend, Gisele Budchen. His former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan (some of you may know her as the Idiot Stick-Figure with No Soul) is also pregnant. Personally, I’ll take Bridget over Gisele any day. I find her infinitely more attractive. Also, she played field hockey in high school, so I bet unless I’m sporting some good blow, my chances with Bridget are infinitely better.

Why this post, you may be asking yourself? Because twoeightnine, good friend to the Ladies… and total genius has designed a fantastic shirt to celebrate Tom Brady’s impending fatherhood. Mine came in the mail today and it rules! Go order one right now; it comes in a variety of colors! Also, tomorrow twoeightnine is doing an interview with the Boston Herald about the shirt. We’ll link to it as soon as it’s published. Here is how the shirt looks:

The View? Is Good.

Signed, sealed, delivered. Once again, we remind you of the bounty of awesome available for purchase at twoeightnine’s internet digs, and ask you to please throw money at him.

A “Hot Men” Sportscaster bracket? A response in two parts: Part One: “Would you do Berman?”

Our first dip into the mailbag! In this edition, we address reader Becky’s suggestion that we do Men’s Sportscaster bracket in a response to the “Would you do…” tourney going on over at The Big Picture.

Since there are eight of us, you can imagine how the responses went. Take it away Becky…

Hey girls, Just had a g-chat w/ Dan Shanoff about something, and wanted to pass it along to you.

Daniel: have you seen that “Would You Do?” Tournament of women of sports TV?Daniel: Well, I thought that it’s time for you to launch your own sports blog, with the “Would You Do?” Tournament of men of sports TV. it would be huge. even if you never posted on the blog again, you would create a sensation.

College Football – Offseason Pangs of Withdrawal

Things I learned from watching the 2007 College Football All-Star Challenge, from the Orange Bowl in Miami and broadcast on the World Wide Leader:

1. Not just suburban dads from Middle America wear pleated khakis, Kirk Herbstreit does, too. Wait, never mind- Kirk *is* a suburban dad from Middle America. After lusting after him for years, it’s hard to remember he’s a dad.

2. Darius Walker is not “short”. He’s “diminuitive”.

3. The best way to measure relative strength of college QBs wanting to enter the draft? Some blue-chalked footballs and a moving piece of cardboard with an oversized picture of a football player on it. Very realistic.

4. And speaking of college QBs- they’re hot. No, really. Troy Smith? Hot. Chris Leak? Hotter. Drew Stanton? Hottest. Even Boise State’s Zabransky is good looking. Is this a new draft requirement for NFL quarterbacks- a minimum hotness level? If so, I give it my seal of approval.

twoeightnine is a captain of industry and a king amongst men.

Step 1 [Nine days ago.]: HOLLY: “You know what I want? One of these, but with Ned.”
Step 2:
Step 3 [Tonight]: Presents!

We request that you buy as many of these as you can reasonably afford, that this darling boy might continue to make pretty things for us at our every whim. The Ladies… would like to take this moment to officially endorse the work of twoeightnine, who is all kinds of genius and also smells nice.

Call us!

When we saw the photo of Captain Caveman at the Super Bowl, our first thought was, “THE DAYSTAR! IT BURNS! AVERT YOUR EYES!” Our second thought: “How did the Cryptkeeper get a press pass?” But once our eyes adjusted to the brilliance, we realized that it wasn’t white light searing our skin, but white heat.

Meet our particular notion of What A Man Should Be, a standard to which all men we meet will be held against and found wanting. Service to his country? Check. Sports acumen? Check. Way with words? Check, and how. Don’t be fooled by his clean, non-threatening good looks, either. We hear he’s a hellcat in the sack.

It all comes back around to Namath sooner or later, doesn’t it? He’s the Kevin Bacon of the sports blogosphere. Does this make CC our Suzy Kolber? We suppose. Only hotter. Captain Caveman, we salute you.