OK Universe. I get it. You’re not a Yankee fan this year. Enough already.
OK Universe. I get it. You’re not a Yankee fan this year. Enough already.
Mets/Yankees is always a big deal, not just in NYC, but to any Mets or Yankees fan. It’s just fun beating your cross-town rival, the one who always pulled down your pants, stole your lunch money, stole your boyfriend – and then got married on the same day as you. (I hate that bitch.)
But the fun really comes in trash-talking with Yankee fans. When I looked around the Ladies… breakroom, I noticed that there was no Yankee fan amongst us. (We did that on purpose.) So I went out and recruited one of our favorite bloggers (we won’t hold it against you that you’re a Yankee fan!), Sportsgirl365 of Strike Zones and End Zones to give us the Pinstriped Point of View.
Congrats to John Maine and Jose Reyes for being named NL Pitcher and Player of the Month for April!
Maine is 4-0, his 1.35 ERA lead the Majors, has 30 Ks in 33.1 IP, and plenty of other sexy stats.
Reyes hit .356, stole 17 bases, and scored 26 runs (every single one giving me delicious points in Fantasy BB – thanks, Reyes!).
Photo property of Tidewater Sports
Thank Football Jesus (there’s a separate one for football), IT’S HERE.
As Draft Day dawns in America (be sure to check the actual picks against our wildly inaccurate but funnier ones over at Awful Announcing’s mock draft), the Ladies… would like to take this moment to kick back and fantasize about whom we’d like to see roaming our sidelines next season. (Of our teams. We meant the sidelines of our teams. Like, on the field where they play football. Naughty.) Join us, won’t you?
|Indianapolis Colts – Holly
Dallas Cowboys – Texas Gal
Pittsburgh Steelers – TheStarterWife
New York Jets – Metschick
Philadelphia Eagles – Clare
Carolina Panthers – SA
Chicago Bears – Lady Andrea
St. Louis Rams – J-Money
10 Things Overheard at Wrigley Field, Cubs-Cards Style
10. I hate you, Scott Spiezio!
9. Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… You suck!
8. I need tee-pee for my Poo Holes, Alby.
7. Hey, Michael Barrett! Over here- this girl wants to do you!
6. Scott Spiezio, I know you like dudes! (same guy as #10)
The list continues after the jump- some foul language included, so those with delicate sensibilities beware.
Oh, college football, how I’ve missed you. It’s been months since I’ve been able to breathe in your beautiful smell, a combination of chewed-up turf, sweaty linemen and smuggled bourbon, hear the sound of 200 band geeks playing Darth Vader’s theme or a drunk frat boy cussing out the coaches’ play calling, or watch my team take the field to battle for a chance to play in a faux-championship system for a mythical national championship title.
College football- you’re my first, my last, my everything. I may have a lustful fling with baseball every spring, and every two years I may run away for a few weeks with the Olympics, but baby, you gotta know you’re my number one. There’s no contest- you’re my one true love, and nothing else could ever really take your place.
Until we can meet up good and proper in September, darlin’- I will just have to make do with the wham, bam, thank you ma’am of a spring game. It’s not real football, there are no opponents and no victory on the line, but I’ll take what I can get. Baby, I’m so desperate for some of your sexy action, that I was actually worked up about seeing Clausen’s emu spikes. That should show you my devotion. It’s not Texas football, but it’s the best I can do up here in Chicago.
I love you, college football. Call me anytime.
(P.S. If you wouldn’t mind keeping those drunk texts I sent you from the tailgate to yourself, I’d really appreciate it)
(P.P.S. I’ve got all kinds of pictures of our short, but sweet, time together- you can relive it with me after the jump)
(P.P.P.S. If there’s any way you can get Colt McCoy the Heisman, and Tom Zbikowski to play with his shirt off, that would be great)
Sportswriters spilled gallons of ink during the off season about today’s Homer Hottie, Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.
By now you know all the highlights: In little league, hit a homer over a Red Lobster in the outfield, won last year’s All-Star Game Home Run Derby, led the entire major league with 58 homers last season, only the second player after Cal Ripken Jr. (no slouch himself in the hotness department, in a silver fox kind of way) to win Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable player in consecutive seasons. So let’s just get right to the hotness, yeah?
Now here the Penguins are, down 3-1 to the Senators with Game Five back in Ottawa tomorrow night. Things are not looking good. 0-5 on the power play last night. One of the young up-and-comers, Erik Christensen, benched. SI and MondesisHouse taking out “Missing” ads for for Malkin.
Thank goodness for Jordan Staal, for his strength, for his scoring, and for his habit that I always find hot with hockey players – chewing on his mouth guard.
RIP Madden Curse, 1998-2007. You’ve left a slew of former greats in your wake: Marshall Faulk, Eddie George, Daunte Culpepper, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb and Shaun Alexander. Well, no more- because much like Matt Leinart and the ’05 Trojans, you’re about to get shredded by Longhorn hottie Vince Young. He’s defeated much stronger opposition than you, including (but not limited to): Michigan, Oklahoma, USC, Ohio State, the NFL Draft, the Texans, the Colts, Merrill Hoge, communism, and evil everywhere… not to mention the SI Cover Jinx (six times). Farewell, Madden Curse! It’s been real, and it’s been fun- but it hasn’t been real fun.
Quarterback Drew Bledsoe has decided to retire after 15 years in the NFL. He’s not necessarily a “hottie” in the strictest sense of the word, but I find him cute. He keeps losing his job to hotter men, that’s gotta be frustrating. His Super Bowl experiences are also less than stellar. He played in the 1996 Super Bowl and got intercepted 4 times. He did not get to play in New England’s 2001 Super Bowl win. Also, I just really, really wanted to use this picture I found of him. I think Gramps and Tony Dungy’s assistant should hang out. [Perpetual Bridesmaid Leaves Church For Good]
This really isn’t news, Per Se, since every guy with a microphone or a pad of paper has been talking to him for weeks, but my boy Brady Quinn believes he should be the #1 draft pick and could help turn around an NFL franchise. Do these people think if they keep asking him, he’ll eventually just say, “No, I really shouldn’t go in the top 3. JaMarcus Russell is way better than I am.” Again, really just wanted an excuse to post a picture. SO. HOTT. [Quinn's Answer Unchanged Since the Last Time You Asked]
My second favorite time of the year is here – The NHL playoffs and the long, arduous road to the most storied trophy in all of sports, the Stanley Cup. For the players and fans alike, it always feels like you are a breath away from victory or complete annihilation.
I always thought it was because the game moves so fast, that at any second a small flick of the wrist, a quick move in front of the goalie, a shot taken perfectly at the 4 hole and 1-1 tie would become a 2-1 victory. (And while we never again go through the
excitement hell of staying up until 2 AM to watch the Pens in a fourth overtime, I found myself really looking forward to watching shoot-outs at the end of regulation during the playoffs last year.)
So join me Ladies… and let’s check out the hotties head to head, skate to skate.
Ottawa Senators vs Pittsburgh Penguins
(Daniel Alfredsson vs Evgeni Malkin and hey… how did that other hottie get in there?)
THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
If only, Shanno, if only.
I should have known Opening Night of the Phillies’ 2007 season was going to be a soul-crusher before I even took my seat. While I was waiting for my friend Judy to arrive, I could hear the strains of Josh Groban crooning “You Raise Me Up” on the PA system outside Citizens Bank Park.
Not a good sign.
Along with the dubious choice of musical accompaniment, it was a damp, chilly 46 degree night, the first of the Phillies’ many College Night promotions, and the first Dollar Dog Night of the season. Combine those three factors with the Atlanta Braves, a team Phillies fans love to hate, and you have the recipe for an outrageous night of baseball.
Two Ladies… had a stake in yesterday’s Opening Night game. After the jump, read their thoughts.
Holly’s Manning Disclaimer: I’m a Tennessee alum from a family of Colts fans. I love Peyton Manning. Love him. I have a Peyton Fathead on my bedroom wall. When he shows up in Knoxville for a charity event or a game, it’s like Elvis, Oprah, and Jesus Christ are in town. That’s just how I was raised, and there’s no deterring me. You’ve been warned. There’s still time to turn back before the jump.
Saturday Night Live airs way past my bedtime (my mind and heart apparently still belong to the East Coast), and I had to get up early this morning to watch our girls make mincemeat out of Marist. This is all by way of saying I’m unable to form any more complete sentences this morning, so please enjoy my notes from last night’s SNL, drunk typos intact, in convenient backwards livebloggy form:
I’m sure it’s not news to the sports world that super-studly, model-datin’, jeans-ad doin’, butt-chin havin’, actually-gets-a-ting-sound-when-he-smiles Tom Brady has two kids on the way. He has impregnated his current girlfriend, Gisele Budchen. His former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan (some of you may know her as the Idiot Stick-Figure with No Soul) is also pregnant. Personally, I’ll take Bridget over Gisele any day. I find her infinitely more attractive. Also, she played field hockey in high school, so I bet unless I’m sporting some good blow, my chances with Bridget are infinitely better.
Why this post, you may be asking yourself? Because twoeightnine, good friend to the Ladies… and total genius has designed a fantastic shirt to celebrate Tom Brady’s impending fatherhood. Mine came in the mail today and it rules! Go order one right now; it comes in a variety of colors! Also, tomorrow twoeightnine is doing an interview with the Boston Herald about the shirt. We’ll link to it as soon as it’s published. Here is how the shirt looks:
Who remembers their AP Psych? You know how if you show a toy or something to a really young kid and cover it up, they’ll think it’s actually gone? They lack the grasp of something called “object permanence”, and it’s why games like peek-a-boo have such an effect up to a certain age. Anyway, as far as I’m concerned, my leaving for vacation on the eve of the SEC tourney means that none of what followed was real. Tennessee did not make another ignominious first-round exit; Florida did not cruise to another title, and Noah was not an unmitigated asshat about it. World without end, amen.
I never realize exactly how much I miss baseball till I watch my first game in the spring. I missed the smell of the fresh cut grass, the hub of the crowd, the blue skies, the sun on my skin, and of course, the crack of the bat and the thud sound the ball makes when it hits the glove.
Oh, and the cute guys wearing tight pants! Join me after the jump, for all the Spring Training goodness.
The Southeastern Conference Tourney kicks off tomorrow night at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. If it weren’t my home conference, I might not even watch this year. The teams are big, slow, and mean, with the exceptions of Tennessee and Florida, the only two schools to crack the Top 25. Not what you’d call electrifying court presences.
So rather than discuss actual basketball, I thought I’d leave it up to the collective juju of each university to make my predictions. Let the games begin: