Revin’ My Motor At the Motor City Bowl

So, I’m suddenly very familiar with Dan LeFevour. Hello you. I’m sorry your second-half surge fell short and you lost to Purdue on a last-second field goal. But you still threw for almost 300 yards and had 4 touchdowns. And you’re hot. Here’s my tribute to Mr. LeFevour. Because I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is…more LeFevour.

The Men of the Mitchell Report

Ladies…is proud to introduce the one and only 2008 Men of the Mitchell Report Calendar: All ‘roids, all year ’round. This morning, we invite you to join us for exclusive previews along with excerpts from our liveblog of yesterday’s circus.

Roll call! What are we drinking, Ladies?

[10:27] Andrea: yeah, I gotta get my wine. I have some X Y Zin, heh heh
[10:28] TheStarterWife: I have some coffee
[10:28] TheStarterWife: but am eying the booze in the bar
[10:28] Texas Gal: I’m drinking Abita Christmas Ale
[10:28] TheStarterWife: or the beer in my fridge
[10:28] Holly: I have…water and Emergen-C. Sigh.
[10:28] Texas Gal: Louisiana swamp water beer = yum

Without further ado…I give you…Mr. January. U-S-A!!


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Hit & Run: I think the Falcons were a teensy bit distracted, no?

The New Orleans Saints walloped the Atlanta Falcons, 34-14, in the Monday night game. I, of course, didn’t watch the game because (wait for it) I went to Walmart to look for a toy. Also, I was a bit bored. Sometimes, when I’m bored, I head to Walmart to see what sticks. I really prefer Target but eh, Walmart’s okay in a pinch. Yesterday, I picked up some tapioca pudding, some PlayDoh, a few pairs of trouser socks, a package of gel pens, a pair of Tinkerbell slippers (for Baby Mets) and a loaf of bread. I love being able to pick up all kinds of crap in one place. But I did not find the toy I was looking for. That damn Little Tikes Sing Along CD player is sold out everywhere.

Anyways, Drew Brees passed for 300+ yards and 3 TDs in an impressive performance. I forget which of the Ladies… has Drew, but those are some pretty numbers right there. Continue reading


Is Mercury in retrograde? Have the stars knocked back a few too many cosmos (I am so sorry) at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? I swear, I leave the internets alone for FIVE HOURS, and look at what happens:

Quack Attack, off the tracks: Oregon 24, Arizona 34. Dennis Dixon is out of commission and Oregon is out of the national title game. I wouldn’t call myself a Pac-10 homer by a long shot, but I’ve been watching a lot of Duck football this year, Dixon in particular, and whatever your allegiances, you can’t argue they’re a hell of a lot of fun to watch. That said: Losing the linchpin of your entire offense is one thing, but as far as I know Dennis didn’t maim any of his own teammates on the way off the field. A defensive collapse of this magnitude against Arizona is pretty much unforgivable, though not unexpected in the larger picture of CFB 2K7: Year of The Hell?.


Oh, Dennis. Your Crazy Eyes only make you more alluring.

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Hit & Run

The Seattle Seahawks beat the hapless San Francisco 49ers, 24-0, bringing the Niners losing streak to 7 games.   Okay, I didn’t watch this game, because I was playing MLB Power Pros on my Wii.  This game is awesome, if only because the video game version of Hideki Okajima of the Boston Red Sox does the exact same little “look-away” thing that the real Okajima does when he pitches.  Also, because video-game D-Wright’s eyes are so very blue. Continue reading

Hit & Run-When Making History Isn’t Enough

Kevin Youkilis, David Ortiz, and Manny Ramirez hit back to back to back home runs Tuesday night. Yet the Red Sox still lost. I guess it was just that kind of night for the Cleveland Indians who are now one game away from going to the World Series. The Tribe beat Boston 7-3 with Tim Wakefield being Boston’s third straight pitcher not being able to go 5 innings. Boo starting pitching. On the bright side, J-Money has said that the fans were a lot better behaved during this game than last. I’d like to believe they collectively read a calling out by a certain blog and feared the wrath of 8 vengeful females.

More pictures from the game after the jump. 

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Week 6 – Shaking up the Stand By Your Man Posts. Again.

TSW - Hey Holly and SA – Did you see this headline yet?
*wonders what the sound of two exploding heads is like*


In all seriousness: No surprise this year, really, with all the new receivers the Pats acquired and the resurgence of the Colts’ running game. They’re basically running our 2005 offense, the premise of which is: Of the eleven guys on the field, be able to throw to about eight of them. Should be a lot of fun to watch.

And yes, it’s nice for Tom to finally reach Peyton’s level. A lofty aspiration for a Wolverine–I’m happy for him! ;)


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For Whom The Babe Roots: ALCS

baseball.gifStep right up and strap on your fighting shoes. The other half of the Ladies will now argue for the men of the diamond who’ve captured their collective American League-loving hearts. The incomparable SA pleads for the Indians, with J-Money and Texas Gal wrapping things up with the case for the Red Sox. [Note: Trusty editor Holly, a near lifelong loather of all things base-ball, has been recently converted to the Red Sox; however, not knowing what a walk-off homer is and frankly being a little skittish in this big new pond she's splashing around in, she has recused herself from the discussion.]

Batter up! Take it away, SA.

I feel a little bad for the Cleveland Indians. Despite having tied for the best record in the American League, people (*Ahem ESPN*) still treats them as the second cousin once removed. Many picked the Yankees over them in the ALDS and I would venture a guess in those same people picking the Red Sox over them in the ALCS. Which means they need all the people on their bandwagon they can get. Here are 10 reasons why you should root for the Indians.

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For Whom The Babe Roots: NLCS

A phenomenon known as “base-ball” has been making headlines around these parts since the inception of the site. The alleged “National League Championship Series” is upon us…time to pick a side or go home. In the red corner: TheStarterWife and Clare, freestylin’ for the Diamondbacks. In the purple corner: Lady Andrea, Metschick, and surprise special guest star tap the Rockies, if you know what I mean. (Don’t feel bad. There is no force in the universe that could have stopped me from making that joke.)

Leading off, the lovely TSW, with her plea for the boys of Arizona:

Why does Stephen Drew smile, other than the fact he is the talented Drew brother? Fucking hit .500 against the Cubbies with two homes and four RBIs, that’s why.

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Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

NBA preseason has started and I have suddenly found myself a New Orleans Hornets fan. How is that, you ask? Because one of My Iowa Hotties, Adam Haluska, was a second-round draft pick for the Hornets. In their first preseason game on Tuesday night, Adam came in for 24 minutes, went 5 for 9 for 12 points, 1 rebound, 1 steal and 1 block. Yahoo! had this to say:

Chandler’s two free throws capped a run of nine straight points to get New Orleans within 54-49, and the comeback was completed when second-round pick Adam Haluska hit back-to-back jumpers to start the fourth quarter to tie it at 70.

Way to go Adam! The following pics were the only ones of him so far as a Hornet, so I have included a third one that shows his cutie face. Yay! [Hawkeye to Hornet, Woot!]

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Hit & Run: Bye-bye, Torre?

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Sad panda

Is this the end for Joe Torre? Told that his job was on the line by The Boss, George Steinbrenner, Torre’s team won on Sunday. But yesterday, the house of cards came tumbling down, and the Cleveland Indians beat the Yankees 6-4. Chien-Ming Wang pitched one inning plus, and the Indians were in command from the first inning on. Grady Sizemore led off the game with a homerun, and the Indians never surrendered the lead. Paul Byrd pitched well for the Indians, going 5 innings and giving up only 2 runs. The Indians bullpen also gave up another 2 runs, but the offense had put up 6 runs, and that was good enough against a Yankee offense that, aside from Game 3, never really got it going against the Indians’ pitching. Sorry to Rob I., James, Sportsgirl365, Becky, Nelson, and all the rest of Yankee fans who were nice to me last week. To the rest of you – suck it! Your tears are delicious.

More pics of the game and celebration after the jump.

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Christmas Ape Was There: Steelers-Cardinals

Ever since we first met the Christmas Ape last spring, he’s become a regular hanging around the TSW HQ TV, especially around game time. So when it came time to head to Arizona for the Steelers-Cardinals game, I couldn’t resist bringing the little guy with me.

Sure you can read what the real Christmas Ape said about Game 4, but what does a weekend of travel, Terrible Towels, and one stuffed Ape really look like?

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Hit & Run

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It seemed like the game wasn’t going to end, but the Rockies got it done in the bottom of the 13th inning. It was a madcap game right from the start, with the Rockies scoring early off super-pitcher Jake Peavey. But the Padres were quickly back in it after an Adrian Gonzalez-grand slam. Tied 6-6, Scott Hairston hit a 2-run HR in the top of the 13th, but since Trevor Hoffman has never in his life closed out a big game, the Rockies were able to rally and score three runs in the bottom of the 13th, to win it 9-8. A few more pics, after the jump.
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Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Hoooo boy.  The National League is gettin’ exciting.  I realize that, at last count, the last 26 Hit n Runs have been about the playoff races but these are really getting down to the wire.  Let’s chase the sun and start with the NL East.

Atlanta Braves Hottie Chipper Jones (I’m sure somebody thinks he’s hot) is now a revered man in Philly and a hated man in New York.  His throwing error let Philly put 3 runs on the board and the Nationals took care of business at Shea, led by Ryan Church’s home run and 4 RBIs.  The Phillies are now 1 game out of first place.

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Hit & Run: On Baseball Chases and Stuff

Look, I’m not a baseball aficionado but even I know that there are a few divisions making this last week of the season interesting. And by interesting I mean giving fans of one team a reason to cheer and fans of others a heart attack. The Mets lost yesterday to Washington which would have been good for the Phillies, except they lost as well to the Braves. And that doesn’t make anybody happy (sorry Metsy and Clare).

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Hit & Run: U-G-L-Y, You Ain’t Got No Alibi

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Damn, that was one ugly loss in D.C. Another four errors? 10 errors in the last two games? What is going on in that dugout? What’s going on in their heads? After getting a four-run lead, the starting pitching imploded, the bullpen did its usual job of pitching batting practice to the Washington Nationals (?!) and the defense needs to, uh, actually play defense. The final score was 12-4, and that’s an embarrassment for a team headed to the postseason. Actually, let me rephrase that – the Nationals are a major league team, and it’s not necessarily embarrassing to lose to them; the Mets’ play on the field is embarrassing right now. I don’t know who in that clubhouse is up for it, but someone needs to call a team meeting, and light some fire under their asses. Continue reading

More Saturday Morning Hate Sex

Last week SA’s Wolverines and J-Money’s Demon Deacons were vanquished by Oregon and Nebraska.

But it’s a new week. A new slate of games. Time to conclude the healing process by vanquishing a few Ducks and Huskers of their own.

(Hey, Nike, all those Oregon uniforms you’re churning out? Any of them include tearaway pants? Because, um, it might help them break a few more tackles. Yup. That’s why. What?)

More hailing to the victors, after this.

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Wednesday Hit and Run – Calling all Canadians! Brady Quinn is #2! Yankee Grandslam! Links of the Day!

Do we have any Canadian readers?  If so, can they please start drinking all the Pepsi and Gatorade they can safely consume without getting bloated, and maybe get a bag or two of Doritos and enter the “Game On! With Sidney Crosby”  Canadian-only contest on behalf of the Ladies?  You know, just in case you win one of four Sidney Crosby Experiences which includes a trip and tickets to a game and a meet and greet with Sid himself? And say, if you wanted a cool American friend to come up and visit that week you go on the trip that’d be okay with me.  Maybe a Penguins-loving Los Angeles friend who could um, you know, hang out and hold the camera while you pose with Sidney? You know, maybe we should both get into the shot, that might look better. A Sid sandwich.  Oh Sidney, of course you can take of that sweaty jersey, we don’t mind! We want you to be comfortable!  Let us help you with that strap…

So um, yeah.  You Canadians need to get on the ball and win this for all of us.

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Hit & Run

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The Detroit Tigers stunned the Toronto Blue Jays, scoring four runs in the bottom of the ninth to win 5-4. Roy Halladay pitched into the ninth, and was one out away from completing the game when he ran into trouble, giving up singles to consecutive Tigers. He was pulled for a reliever, who promptly gave up a 2-run single to Curtis Granderson. Placido Polanco then singled, and Gary Sheffield walked to load the bases, making way for Magglio Ordonez, who knocked in the winning runs. By the way, Granderson is only the third major leaguer to get 20 HR, 20 doubles, 20 triples and 20 steals in a season. Who’s your Tiger, indeed? Continue reading

It’s like a palate cleanser, but it’ll get you dirty.

Last week Holly’s Vawls, SA’s Wolverines, and J-Money’s Demon Deacons were dealt body blows by Cal, Appalachian State, and Boston College. But that’s yesterday’s news. Let us move on, brothers and sisters. Let us celebrate week two of the season, beginning in just a few hours. Let us heal. And what heals like a little morning hate sex? Nothing, that’s what.

Join us after the jump for a little “Hail to the Victors”, if you know what I mean.

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Hit & Run: The Race is on with Chase

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Chase Utley comes back from his hand injury, and goes 3-5 with a homer and 2 RBI, as the Phillies beat the Mets (sad Metsy) 9-2. I guess some other stuff happened, but I ignored that noise. Oh, I did see that it was some sort of mascot function at Citizens Bank Park, so I entertained myself with that. Alas, I couldn’t find any pictures of the mascot hotness, but I did see that some Spartan was there, as was the New Orleans Hornet, and Li’l Red (yeah, whoever that is). Also, I heard Keith Hernandez wonder why the flowers in the bullpen were purple and not red. Keith, you’re so weird. Continue reading

Bringing The Heat: Texas Rangers

When I was younger my father’s job transferred him to their offices in Plano, Texas. At the time (around age 13,14) I wanted to stay in South Carolina and be with my friends and family, etc.

I was such a fool.

There are many beautiful things of the male species that comes out of that great state. And I was an idiot to want to stay here. Don’t get me wrong, South Carolina is nice. But have you seen the ass that comes out of Texas with every team? It’s unfair. It is so unfair.

And while the Texas Rangers aren’t a team full of literal home grown talent, they still serve up some hottie goodness to the baseball world.

(Yes, I know Mark Teixeira doesn’t play for the Rangers anymore. But I’ve already done the Braves and he’s too hot to leave out of these “Bringing the Heat” posts. Plus he looked damn good in that uniform.)

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Hit & Run

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Cal Ripken, Jr., was tapped by Condi Rice to be the U.S. Public Diplomacy Envoy. The administration wants him to spread the lovely to motivate through his integrity and iron man work ethic. About the appointment, Ripken said: “This is not a political statement for me necessarily. This is about the kids, and planning, you know, using baseball for good reasons.” Someone should send Ripken to the Middle East to solve that thing.

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Congrats, Tommy!

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Last night, Tom Glavine became only the 23rd pitcher to win 300 career games, and the first to do it as a Met. He pitched very well in 6 1/3 innings, and even helped his own cause by singling in the first run of the game.

It was hard at first for me to accept Mr. Glavine as one of the boys, as one of us. It’s not that I ever hated him as a Brave, because I really didn’t (as opposed to one John Rocker and one Chipper Jones). For me, it was just the hatred of the uniform. Once I realized that no, Glavine wasn’t with the Mets to sabotage them on behalf of the Braves (which, trust me, was no small feat, considering the way he pitched against the Braves the first two seasons he was with the Mets), I embraced him as whole-heartedly as I do the other Mets. (This video is also a big reason of why I could never really hate Tom Glavine.)

So, I’m full of pride for Tommy today, as I congratulate him on winning his 300th game, a crowning achievement in his Hall of Fame career. If you want all the good stuff on the game, head on over to And for much more eloquent fanalysis (fan analysis – what? I can make up words!), go to Faith and Fear in Flushing.

Howevah, if you want to see some pictures of the sweet lefty through the years, come with me… Continue reading