Hot or Not: The 2008 Senior Bowl

Saturday was our last chance to lay eyes on many of our NCAA honeys before the draft. Who sizzled? Who fizzled? Who’ll be fielding calls from scouts, and who’ll be sitting at home crying with their hair in hot rollers (or, as Brady Quinn calls it, “Thursday”)?

HOT: Erik Ainge, QB, Tennessee.

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Our boy wasn’t even supposed to be at the game, but there he was—taking Brian Brohm’s roster slot and Offensive MVP honors, and handing off the winning TD to…
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Let’s hear it for the Underdogs: Why we’re cheering for the Giants and Chargers this weekend.

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Michael Cera in Superbad. Justin Long in Dodgeball. Seth Rogen in Knocked Up. We pull for these guys to get the girls, because who doesn’t love a little pluck and moxie in a man? After the jump, find out why Holly and J-Money have given their hearts to New York and San Diego for the duration of the playoffs.

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For 2008 I Resolve…

Ah, the first of the new year. It’s that great day to kiss your sweetie (or that really hot guy standing to your left) at midnight, watching the bowl games (or outdoor hockey), and to make a fresh start in your life.

Or something like that.

Yes, last week was that time to make a whole bunch of resolutions to yourself. I know, you’ve already resolved to lose weight and to stop drinking as much and finally start saving your money for a rainy day. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to do any of that. You would have already. How about making some logical resolutions this year? I will not hate the Yankees with a white hot fire. I will appreciate Alabama for its continued devotion to a dead coach. I won’t defecate in a cooler. All the things you know you can do.

If you’re at a loss as to what you should resolve this year, read the Ladies… 2008 resolutions for some ideas. I’m sure you’ll be able to adopt some of our ideas. And if not, good luck with that whole less drinking thing. Continue reading

RosezzzZZZzzz Bowl Wrapup: Pete Carroll without end, amen.

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Choose the form of the destructor.

49-17?? This game shouldn’t have even happened. No one wins. Not the Grandaddy Bowl, which takes a massive PR hit. Not Rashard Mendenhall, a consistently entertaining watch whose 155-yard game was overshadowed by his team taking it in the mouth for four quarters. Not Desmond Reed, whose endzone gymnastics should have been encouraged, not penalized, in the name of giving us something interesting to look at. Certainly not the fans of the game (entertaining though it was to watch the Trojans rack up 633 yards of offense, we will now be treated to another offseason of their media darlinghood..and I say that as a fan of USC).

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What’s not to love?

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Independence Bowl Poetry Slam: A lot of tongue and no cheek.

shreveport.jpg I jumped to cover the Independence Bowl based on the wide margin of hate available. Nowhere else in the 2007 postseason is a team that’s been such a large part of my life (Colorado and the MAJESTIC BUFFALO) facing a team I so loathe (Alabama, and the presence of Saban in Tuscaloosa is only exacerbating things). The prospect of a lovely pink soapbox from which to broadcast my everlasting disdain for the Crimson Tide was a delicious one. I had planned to award these guys some sort of medal.

And then I read Spencer Hall’s Sporting News column on the matchup. And he took (seriously, seriously mild) shots at Shreveport. And the people of this fine metropolis rose up, pitchforks in hand, to write their Congressperson ululate about it on the internet, which fixes everything, and that’s about where the trouble started. As one commenter put it,

The Independence bowl was only singled out because if you say POULAN WEEDEATER BOWL out loud, it’s kinda funny. What is certain, though, is that people in Shreveport are passionately proud of their city and their culture, and they are just a bit touchy. A bit. Touchy….

As an added bonus, several clever trolls figured out how to make LARGE!RED!LETTERS! in their comment boxes. It was positively FanHousian. And it was time to bring back the Poetry Slam.

Standard disclaimer: I swear, I did not make any of these up. Original spelling, grammar, and punctuation have been preserved. All [sic]s implied.

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