My phone beeped and showed I had a text message from my friend Shan. The note said:
THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
If only, Shanno, if only.
I should have known Opening Night of the Phillies’ 2007 season was going to be a soul-crusher before I even took my seat. While I was waiting for my friend Judy to arrive, I could hear the strains of Josh Groban crooning “You Raise Me Up” on the PA system outside Citizens Bank Park.
Not a good sign.
Along with the dubious choice of musical accompaniment, it was a damp, chilly 46 degree night, the first of the Phillies’ many College Night promotions, and the first Dollar Dog Night of the season. Combine those three factors with the Atlanta Braves, a team Phillies fans love to hate, and you have the recipe for an outrageous night of baseball.
With all the hotties on the PGA Tour, there was no way we were going to let the Masters slip by unnoticed. But we’re not going to bring you dry leaderboard recitations, or boring capsule summaries- which would put you to sleep faster than listening to Jim Nantz talk in hushed tones on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Instead we’re doing the Masters… hottie skins style.
Each of the Ladies… picked one hottie golfer to back in the tournament. We’re pitting our hotties against each other on the course, but instead of just giving the highest finishing hottie the win, we thought- let’s make it more interesting. Why go the simple route? So we’ll be scoring our PGA hotties in a modified skins-style format. Each hole equals one skin- and the hottie who shoots the best score on a hole (over the course of the whole tournament) will win that hole, and that skin. So it’s to each hottie’s advantage to make the cut, because that means he’ll get more shots at a better score on each hole. In the event of a tie, we will use any arbitrary means at our disposal to break the tie. Them’s the breaks.
Some Ladies… selected based on looks alone, some based on a little sentiment, some based on skills, some based on spitting accuracy. But combined, we’ve put together the hottest Leaderboard around.
With the NCAA tournament drawing rapidly to a close, it’s time we steel ourselves for the loss of one of the golden voices of the broadcasters’ booth.
It’s time we say goodbye to Dick Vitale.
Tomorrow afternoon, a plethora of hotties from up and down the Eastern Seaboard will fill Madison Square Garden for the 25th annual Big East tournament. Only the top 12 teams get bids to the Big East tourney (sorry, USF, Seton Hall, Cincy and Rutgers) and the top four get automatic bids to the quarterfinals.
My Pitt Panthers have a three seed, a fact that makes me want to throw myself on the floor and writhe around in agony. The only thing stopping me from doing so is the fact that Notre Dame has a four seed. Ha!
Meet the Big East All-Hottie first team after the jump.
Our occasional series spotlighting the most delicious of the NHL’s hotties continues as we admire the Atlantic Division.
Join Clare as she rhapsodizes about crooked noses, broken teeth and shiners.
It’s a good day to be an environmentalist. Not only did Al Gore’s global warming
PowerPoint presentation snoozefest call to arms An Inconvenient Truth win two Academy Awards for Best Documentary Feature and Best Original Song, but the luminaries of stopglobalwarming.org can add delicious Phillies second baseman Chase Utley to their ranks.
In an article on philadelphiaphillies.com (third item), Utley talks about how An Inconvenient Truth made him aware of the realities of global warming.
“Until I saw the movie, I never paid attention to it,” Utley said. “It opened my eyes. We’re not heading in the right direction as far as helping the environment. I’m trying to find ways to help, and trying to get people more aware. One person can’t change it. I just hope to educate people a little bit.”
Utley can’t resist a little dig at his teammates Aaron Rowand and Jon Leiber’s behemoths, either: “‘I don’t think we’re really on the same page,’ Utley said. ‘Maybe I’ll show them the movie.’”
Next on Utley’s Netflix queue: Ed Begley Jr.’s opus Who Killed the Electric Car?
I’ve never written a sports story before. Op-eds, news reporting, movie reviews; I’ve done those, but in my years of working at The Pitt News, I never wrote a single sports story. So this is going to be as weird for me as it is for you. If you want a box score, go read ESPN’s recap. I’ll wait.
Yesterday, I tooled down I-95 to the
MCI Verizon Center in Washington for the Pitt-Georgetown mens’ hoops game. This one was a big deal, because as Lady Andrea said yesterday, it decided who had the spot atop the Big East.
More sweet action after the jump.