Bringing The Heat: Anaheim Angels

The latest edition of Bringing the Heat takes us to the left coast with the Anaheim Angels*. And I must say that I’m disappointed in them. There are no real hotties on the team. Sure there are some cute guys, but no smoking hot pieces of ass that you want to spank. Maybe Bill Stoneman need to take a cue from his counterpart up in Oakland and learn to draft some good hot players.

Despite that, the Angels are already in control of the AL West, with a 5 ½ game lead on Seattle, 6 ½ lead on Oakland, and a 16 game lead over Texas. Oakland is a notorious second-half team, but I wouldn’t blame anyone if they called this division done for. And with that said, on to the cuties from Anaheim.

*I refuse to call them that fucked up name their owner gave them.

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Welcome to Miami: Meet the Marlins

Billy the Marlin What can I possibly say about the Marlins as an intro? They’ve been around for like a day and have already won two World Series. In that same span of time, my Mets have won none. Boo.

In between celebrating World championships, however, there have been some god-awful teams down in Miami. While this year’s team might not be god-awful (although, they were just swept by the Nationals), they’re just not very good.

And they’re kind of ugly. There, I said it. The Marlins are sorely lacking the Hottness. (Sorry, Marlins fan.)

Don’t know why I’m apologizing. There are more
people in my house right now than shown in this picture.

As hot as the Oakland A’s are, the Marlins are the exact opposite. They are U-G-L-Y (you ain’t got no alibi, and all that).

But they do have one or two gems among the muck. Join me as I showcase them. Continue reading

Bringing the Heat: Cleveland ROCKS!

Here at Ladies…, we are back with another weekly installment of Bringing the Heat with a Hottie View of the Cleveland Indians. The Tribe is currently atop the American League Central standings at 14-8, which is actually the 3rd best record in baseball behind the Boston Red Sox and the New York Mets. So, good for you Cleveland! This is just the second step towards Hottie Sports Domination, the first being their drafting of Brady Quinn this past Saturday. (What? I have to get my comments in somewhere, nobody else here likes him).

So, without further ado, I present the Magnificent 7 of the Cleveland Indians. I contemplated making a Native American name for each Hottie, since they are the Indians and all, but I figured that, for instance, calling Grady Sizemore “Chief Sensuous Lips” would be horribly racist and not that funny. My captions for each picture will have to do. Also, do not be alarmed if you see a Tribe member in another uniform. It’s not like I’m confused about which team I am previewing. I wanted to use the best pictures possible of each guy, so sometimes they are wearing a former team’s duds. Deal with it. Continue reading

Bringing the Heat: Los Angeles Dodgers

OK, I don’t have a clever introduction. I went to a Widespread Panic concert over the weekend and since then I’ve done nothing but lay facedown on the sofa, trying to force my red eyes to focus on another “Press Your Luck” rerun on the Game Show Network. Yeah. I admit it. Halfway through “Disco”, a man named Pegasus gave me what I’d been trying to score all night: some fucking Claritin. After dancing around in a field for five hours, I left the show with wicked allergies, an Oxfam sticker, and a newfound loathing for songs that last longer than most of my relationships.

That said, today we’re studying the Dodgers who may lead the majors in wins, but aren’t exactly frontrunners in hotness. I went deep into the archives trying to find the tastiest treats to wear Dodger blue. Here goes. No whammies, no whammies.

Steve Garvey
First base, 1969-1982

Steve Garvey

You can purchase this and other Steve Garvey pictures from a company called Mounted Memories. I believe there are several women who already have Steve’s Mounted Memories. They’re called children.

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Bringing the Heat: Cincinnati Reds

There are certain baseball teams that are filled to the brim with hotties- the A’s, the Twins and the Phillies (and the Red Sox farm system). The Reds are most definitely not one of those teams. They’re not a roster full of fug, they’re just unremarkable in general. This means two things: there won’t be a lot of pretty scenery to look at Great American Ball Park (unless the visiting team brings some of its own), but it also means the Reds hotties will be that much easier to spot.

Let’s go on a hottie safari, Cincinnati style… Continue reading

Bringing The Heat: Atlanta Braves

When we here at Ladies… decide we would do a feature on all 32 Major League teams, I jokingly said that for the Atlanta Braves one I could just post 10 pictures of Jeff Francoeur’s ass and call it a day. Little did I know that I could literally do that. There are many a picture of Mr. Francoeur’s ass, all that I enjoyed immensely. And it’s not like Atlanta is coming up big in the hotties category anyway. Would you, loyal reader of Ladies…, complain if 10 pics of Francoeur’s ass came after the jump? Continue reading