Bears Training Camp: A Fruitless Search for Autographs

Today, I accompanied my sister, brother-in-law and nephew to Bourbonnais, Ill., for Chicago Bears training camp. Being there reaffirmed one of my strongest beliefs: nothing is hotter than a football player in pads. I also learned that is much harder to get an autograph than you would think. (They weren’t for me – they’re for my nephew!)

Long snapper and hottie, Patrick Mannelly

Long snapper and hottie, Patrick Mannelly

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A Cubs Game Through the Eyes of a Six Year Old

On Wednesday, a pair of Cubs tickets came my way. This season, Cubs tickets are about as hot as a ticket as you can get in Chicago, so I said yes faster than you can Kosuke Fukudome. I asked a few friends to go with me, but work got in their way. (Suckers!) My sister suggested that I take my six-year-old nephew, which turned out to be a fantastic suggestion. (Much better than the time she suggested we cover the pot of spaghetti and turn up the heat to high. That suggestion ended up with us mopping pasta off the ceiling.)

My nephew – Cubs fan, Fukudome man

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Oh NO he di’int!

Dustin Nippert of the Oklahoma RedHawks threw a no-hitter today, and I saw it happen in person. This was my first no-no, and I would be a lot more happy about getting to cross that off my “To See” list if it hadn’t happened against my team.

Dustin Nippert

Dustin Nippert, the thrower of a no-hitter.

But I did just realize that “Nippert” sounds really funny if you say it out loud a bunch of times in a row. Try it with me…Nippert, Nippert, Nippertnippertnippert. Hm, I think I have been out in the sun too long, and my brain should not be anywhere near your Internets. Sorry, I’ll show myself to the door now…

A journey in pictures: Kansas City!

After a sweep of the Colorado Rockies, my Kansas City Royals are no longer in last place in the AL Central. (That honor belongs to Cleveland. Here are the standings.) My parents wanted to go to this series, and invited me along. How could I say no? So my camera and I went along to the City of Kansas (and Missouri).

Nowhere else I\'d rather be!!

Seriously, Tuesday was a PERFECT baseball day in KC. I even got to meet some of our readers!

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Because it’s not the CWS without a little nudity!

Farewell, dearest Tigers of Louisiana State. Right before Tim Federowicz launched his grand slam in the top of the 9th inning (in what had been a tie game), I heard an LSU fan say, “Oh, this guy only has 4 homers this year; we can get him.”

And just like that, they did not “get him.” UNC went on to win 7-3 to send LSU home, and continue its own quest to finish in 2nd place in the College World Series…again. But there was a streaker! Check out the ground crew guy’s tackle!!

I had never been to a sporting event where there was a streaker. Now I have been, and it was at least as hilarious as I had always imagined.

College World Series update

Something you should know about Miss Minda: I hate Miami sports. As far as I’m concerned, “Da U!” can eat poop. They were #1 heading into the College World series, but after facing Stanford last night…they gone!

Georgia, Stanford, Fresno State, and either North Carolina or LSU (depending on tonight, plus another game tomorrow if necessary) are still in it. Here’s the bracket, for your viewing pleasure.

And here was the view from my lovely GA seats, as taken by my badass friend Kacey:

All we see is Red in Nebraska3

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Hump Day Hottie: Wrestling Olympians

I spent this weekend at the U.S. Olympic Trials for wrestling, and there was eye candy everywhere. With less than two months until the Beijing games begin, I feel it is my patriotic duty to share these hotties with you. Remember, you’re not ogling these hotties for your own, selfish purposes. You are ogling these hotties for the good of the country. U-S-A! U-S-A!


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Stranger in a Strange Land: My Trip to U.S. Cellular Field

My best friend, a diehard White Sox fan, emailed me on Wednesday:

What are you up to on Friday night? I have 4 Club level tickets to the Sox

game (I'll give you some time to groan, go ahead) and I thought maybe you

would like to come with.

Club level seats? Baseball? A buffalo chicken sandwich and beer delivered to me in my seat? Sure, why the hell not. I could put aside years of hatred for the South Siders, right? It would be a fun night out with the girls, and I didn’t want to ruin that kind of night with hating the home team. Plus, my best friend threatened to clock me if I cheered for the Angels.

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2008 National Duals

For the first time since 1996 the University of Iowa won the National Duals. At this meet, there were D-I, D-II, D-III, NAIA, NJCAA, and NCWA schools for a total of 80 teams. On Saturday, they had 18 mats going all day. Since I wangled myself a press pass, I got to be right down in the action. It was sensory overload. I have never in my life been around so many completely jacked guys. I’ve also never felt more Brobdingnagian. Wrestlers tend to run on the…short side. Wading through the crowds, I was like Godzilla attacking Toyko. Tiny muscular men were bouncing off me every which way. I’m pretty sure there are still a couple 125-lb wrestlers stuck to my shoe.

Christmas Ape Was There: Steelers-Cardinals

Ever since we first met the Christmas Ape last spring, he’s become a regular hanging around the TSW HQ TV, especially around game time. So when it came time to head to Arizona for the Steelers-Cardinals game, I couldn’t resist bringing the little guy with me.

Sure you can read what the real Christmas Ape said about Game 4, but what does a weekend of travel, Terrible Towels, and one stuffed Ape really look like?

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Bringing the Heat – Arizona Diamondbacks

Last weekend of the regular season and the Arizona Diamondbacks are right in the thick of the National League race. So as you settle in for a sports gluttony weekend of one of the tightest NL finishes (OMG CLARE AND METSCHICK FREAKING OUT!) here is a quick guide to the D’Backs who might just cause you to shake your rattle.

And since this is last of the team-by-team MLB hottie profiles, I am getting out the glue gun, my best silver sparkle pen, and doing up the guys bulletin board style. (Best viewed in Firefox or IE, and yes, make sure your Flash is up to date.) Just sit back and let the hotties mesmerize you with their beauty…

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I Was There (And It Hurt): Tennessee-Cal

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I was thrilled to my orange-painted toes to learn my beloved Vawls were playing Cal for their season opener. Since they had come all the way to the west coast (like they were coming just to see me!), I thought the least I could do was make the trip up to Berkeley to meet them.
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Bringing the Heat (because I Was There): San Diego Padres

petco.jpg I made my first trip down to glorious San Diego with some girlfriends over Memorial Day weekend. Nice place y’all got here. Imagine my pouting, though, when I was informed I had to spend Saturday night at something called a base-ball game.

I was digging in my heels and pouting something fierce, but I have to tell you, once I got a few pints in me and laid eyes on this fellow right here, all was forgiven:

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“I Was There” – Pirates versus a .500 season

In the six months of Ladies, this is the hardest post I’ve had to write.   So hard that I’ve actually been working on it since this game… 

That’s right.  Ever since the Buccos gave up a 10th inning walk-off grand slam to Dodgers on April 21

You know, after they gave up the lead in the 9th.   

So promise to stick with me if turns into the worst post ever in all of sport blogging history.  I have a boat and we’re going up the river… Continue reading

Hottie Guide: U.S. Open 2007 (I Was There…)

Beyond this entrance gate, much hotness can be found…

I’ve got your viewer’s guide to all the hotties playing the links this weekend at the U.S. Open at Oakmont outside lovely and scenic (really!) Pittsburgh, PA. And thank you USGA and Oakmont for letting spectators take cameras onto the course, at least for the practice rounds, because I’ve also got pictures.


Can those cute dimples carry Zach to an Open victory?

Take a gander at all the guys to watch for after the jump…

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I Was There: Phillies-Mets-Marlins

Another weekend, another city, another four baseball games (Phillies-Marlins, and the three game Mets-Marlins series)- the tally is now at 24 games on the year so far. But now I’m going to give back, and share a little of the baseball hottie-fueled knowledge I gathered down in Miami.

How to Go to a Marlins Game: A Texas Gal Primer

1. Get Tickets.
The easiest part of the whole process is getting ahold of tickets- because there aren’t really very many “fans” of the Marlins variety. More like “people who live in the Miami area who are bored, and are investigating the rumors that their city has a pro baseball team”. These “fans” are easily startled, and will cower at the slightest taunting from opposing fans- which is unfortunate that they play in the same division as New York and Philadelphia, world-class hecklers both. Also unfortunate when 85% of the stadium are Mets fans.
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Midwest Pants Party: So Many Hotties

Friday morning I had my car packed and ready; I practically had it sitting outside my classroom building with the door open and the engine running. As soon as I finished a final, I was off for the Windy City. I put the iPod on the Country playlist (old school country, none of this faux-country crap) and I made it to downtown Chicago in excellent time. I was staying at the same hotel as Mr. Deadspin himself (I know! It’s like staying at the same hotel as The Beatles!), so we cabbed it out to Schaller’s Pump together around 2:00 pm. Also, I need to be upfront about this on the front page of the article: Will, I’m sorry I’ve been pronouncing your name wrong all this time. You’re right, it’s like the blood-sucking parasite. I looked it up: it’s Scottish, not German. Sorry Will.

Update: We now have video of Raskolnikov’s performance of the night and  Goathair’s awesome rendition of “Hey Ya.” Will Leitch’s (Leech) video is over at DeadOn. Continue reading

View From Left Field Bleachers: Cubs-Cards

10 Things Overheard at Wrigley Field, Cubs-Cards Style

10. I hate you, Scott Spiezio!

9. Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… Dunnn-cannn… You suck!

8. I need tee-pee for my Poo Holes, Alby.

7. Hey, Michael Barrett! Over here- this girl wants to do you!

6. Scott Spiezio, I know you like dudes! (same guy as #10)

The list continues after the jump- some foul language included, so those with delicate sensibilities beware.

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I Was There: ND Blue & Gold Game

Oh, college football, how I’ve missed you. It’s been months since I’ve been able to breathe in your beautiful smell, a combination of chewed-up turf, sweaty linemen and smuggled bourbon, hear the sound of 200 band geeks playing Darth Vader’s theme or a drunk frat boy cussing out the coaches’ play calling, or watch my team take the field to battle for a chance to play in a faux-championship system for a mythical national championship title.

College football- you’re my first, my last, my everything. I may have a lustful fling with baseball every spring, and every two years I may run away for a few weeks with the Olympics, but baby, you gotta know you’re my number one. There’s no contest- you’re my one true love, and nothing else could ever really take your place.

Until we can meet up good and proper in September, darlin’- I will just have to make do with the wham, bam, thank you ma’am of a spring game. It’s not real football, there are no opponents and no victory on the line, but I’ll take what I can get. Baby, I’m so desperate for some of your sexy action, that I was actually worked up about seeing Clausen’s emu spikes. That should show you my devotion. It’s not Texas football, but it’s the best I can do up here in Chicago.

I love you, college football. Call me anytime.

(P.S. If you wouldn’t mind keeping those drunk texts I sent you from the tailgate to yourself, I’d really appreciate it)

(P.P.S. I’ve got all kinds of pictures of our short, but sweet, time together- you can relive it with me after the jump)

(P.P.P.S. If there’s any way you can get Colt McCoy the Heisman, and Tom Zbikowski to play with his shirt off, that would be great)

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I Was There: Phillies Opening Night 2007, April 4

view from section 322My phone beeped and showed I had a text message from my friend Shan. The note said:

THIS IS WHY I’M HOT

If only, Shanno, if only.

I should have known Opening Night of the Phillies’ 2007 season was going to be a soul-crusher before I even took my seat. While I was waiting for my friend Judy to arrive, I could hear the strains of Josh Groban crooning “You Raise Me Up” on the PA system outside Citizens Bank Park.

Not a good sign.

Along with the dubious choice of musical accompaniment, it was a damp, chilly 46 degree night, the first of the Phillies’ many College Night promotions, and the first Dollar Dog Night of the season. Combine those three factors with the Atlanta Braves, a team Phillies fans love to hate, and you have the recipe for an outrageous night of baseball.

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I Was There: Mets vs. Astros spring training game

I never realize exactly how much I miss baseball till I watch my first game in the spring. I missed the smell of the fresh cut grass, the hub of the crowd, the blue skies, the sun on my skin, and of course, the crack of the bat and the thud sound the ball makes when it hits the glove.

Oh, and the cute guys wearing tight pants!  Join me after the jump, for all the Spring Training goodness.  

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Southern Conference Hangover

SoCon logoAh, the SoCon Tournament. Once again another conference tournament went pretty much chalk. And the number one seed, Davidson won. Big shocker. C of C got to the championship game with the home-town crowd and Davidson got there because they’re a good team. I went to this game Saturday, well the first half of the game anyway, and I must say that although it was a two-point game at halftime, I was pretty bored. And this is nothing against the Southern Conference. It just wasn’t that exciting of a game to me. I would have pictures for you. But me and my camera didn’t get along, particularly the part where it decided to jump out of my hand while walking to the entrance, breaking into a bunch of little pieces. Fuck you Sony Cyber-shot that I got for Christmas. Continue reading

I Was There: Pitt-Georgetown, MCI Center, February 24, 2007

One Lady... with her ladies...I’ve never written a sports story before. Op-eds, news reporting, movie reviews; I’ve done those, but in my years of working at The Pitt News, I never wrote a single sports story. So this is going to be as weird for me as it is for you. If you want a box score, go read ESPN’s recap. I’ll wait.

Yesterday, I tooled down I-95 to the MCI Verizon Center in Washington for the Pitt-Georgetown mens’ hoops game. This one was a big deal, because as Lady Andrea said yesterday, it decided who had the spot atop the Big East.

More sweet action after the jump.

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