Hit and Run – I guess I have to talk about this Bonds thing

But first…

Ladies’ favorite Curtis Granderson hit a double in first inning (Ed. note – seen fielding) giving him 30 doubles, 15 triples, 15 homers, and 10 14 steals so far this season. Congrats Curtis! Keep it up boys! I want to see Sean the Tigers make another run this Fall.

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The Ladies got play over on EDSBS! Be sure to check out Drunk Ladies: Cocktails For Your Team 2007! And for the record? I loathe USC, but no one is going to care about my college football team, including the students.

Hit & Run: Did anything happen last night?

Robbie & Melky, so perfect together…

Yankees outfielder Melky Cabrera went 3-4, from the ninth hole, in the Yankees’ 5-4 win over the Blue Jays. This win brings Andy Pettite’s record to over .500; he also won consecutive games for just the first time this season. The Yankees have the best winning percentage in the Majors since the All Star break. (I prefer the Yankees of May.)

Hit and Run: And I’ve got issues (yeah)/Like I miss you (yeah)

Yesterday was a pretty lousy day in the sports world — lots of pining for things gone missing — so let’s make this quick.

Kevin Garnett breaks the hearts of T-Wolves fans and becomes a Celtic.

BOTH Phillies right fielders Shane Victorino and Michael Bourn were placed on the DL yesterday. Texas Gal and I will miss their speed on the basepaths.

Sad news out of Phoenix: A police report states that drugs, drug paraphernalia and a loaded handgun were found in Rod Beck’s home on the day he died. Very unfortunate indeed.

Rawlings dumps their sponsorship of the beleaguered Michael Vick. He’ll miss the scrilla.

I leave you with some cute sleeping puppies in order to get the crappy taste out of your mouth.

Hit & Run

Ladies all over Georgia rejoice; Mark Teixeira, cutie and offensive force at first, has been traded to the Atlanta Braves. But remember, ladies, you’ve got to give to receive: the Texas Rangers get Jarrod Saltalamacchia in return.

Can’t resist:

Hit & Run: We Want A Pitcher, Not A Belly Itcher

I’ve got pitchers on the brain – but then again, what else is new?

The Good:
The Tigers just called up hottie Jordan Tata to make his first start in the The Show (against the A’s)- I applaud any move that puts more hottie pitchers on the mound.

And volatile yet hot Carlos Zambrano yesterday become the first pitcher in baseball to get 14 wins this season. I love a man who is handy with a pitch… and his fists.

The Bad:
Newly off the DL, uber-hottie Huston Street ran into some trouble against the Mariners on Sunday and picked up the loss. I’m pretty sure I know a girl or two who’d be happy to comfort him. (and love that retro uni)

The Ugly:
Not only did Astros pitcher cutie Jason Jennings get the L on Sunday, he gave up 11 runs… in one inning. I have nothing clever to say about that, just… YOWCH.

click the thumbnails for full-size photos

And special love to HOF’er Hotties Cal Ripken, Jr. and Tony Gwynn, who were inducted into Cooperstown yesterday. Congrats to both men- each played the game right (and each played for just one team their entire career, to boot).

Hit & Run-Dumbass Edition

Usually we like to highlight the hotties and good guys in sports on this here blog. But I’m not feeling it today. Life sucks at times. So instead I’m giving you the dumbass version of the H&R.

This guy? Dumbass #1. Michael Rasmussen was removed from the Tour de France by his own team for violating team rules. He missed some random drug testing, telling the sports director of his team that he was in Mexico when a former teammate saw him out and about in Italy. You fool. Rasmussen had won the Stage 16 Wednesday when he was dismissed.

Dumbass #2-Curt Schilling. He ran his mouth off again on Costas Now, talking about Bonds, Palmeiro, McGuire, steroids, etc., etc. Look Curt, I like the fact that you talk to the media and have your own blog, making you “closer” to the fans. But sometimes you need to shut yer yap. Haven’t we been down this road before?

Hit and Run – Wednesday, July 24 – First day of the rest of our lives

You have to certainly say this about Mr. Forearms Craig Biggio, he certainly knows how to go out on top.

Just hours after a tearful press conference announcing that this will be his last season playing baseball, he hit a grand slam in the bottom 6th inning to give the Astros a 7-4 victory over the Dodgers.

I’d be lying to say the last of the original Killer B’s retiring doesn’t make me feel old.  If I was an Astro fan, I’d be crying in my pillow tonight, especially when you look at the rest of the NL Central and you see far down in the hole they have fallen.

Hit & Run: Welcome Back and See Ya Later

WELCOME BACK: Jon Lester. The Red Sox cutie pitcher is making his first major league start tonight in Cleveland since being diagnosed with cancer last year. The last time he pitched was almost a year ago (August of ’06), in the midst of a rookie season that saw him go 5-0 in his first 5 decisions. He was diagnosed with a form of lymphoma last August at just 22 years old, underwent chemo, and was cleared as cancer-free in December. He’s battled back, rehabbed in the minors, and is ready and rarin’ to go. (and see ya later to Andrea’s “hottie” Julian Tavarez, who heads back to the bullpen).

SEE YA LATER: Sergio Garcia. Even though ultra-hottie Sergio sat atop the Leaderboard of the British Open all three days leading into Sunday’s final round, Irish hottie Padraig Harrington came from behind and pushed Sergio into a four-hole playoff… from which Padraig emerged victorious. In the battle of the sexy accents, Ireland wins this round.

I have to say that I find it cute that Sergio pleads to the golf gods in English, not Spanish- as you could hear him say “please, please, please, my god, please” at one point. Guess the golf gods weren’t swayed – though I don’t think I could have resisted.

The plaque for the alternates is in the Ladies… room

Friday Hit and Run: All Beckham Edition

Well tomorrow’s the big day. If you’re like me, you’ve already made a t-shirt, bought plenty of pudding, and cannot wait for 8 p.m. to get here so you can finally watch what you’ve waited months for: the American premiere of Ghost Cat on Animal Planet.

I kid! I kid! Unless you fell down a well, have been kidnapped and bound by Kathy Bates or are my mother, you know that on Saturday David Beckham will won’t will make his MLS debut. But he won’t be starting and his playing time may be minimal, so you can enjoy the synchronicity that comes from knowing that you and Becks are watching the same game at the same time! Stars are just like us! Except he’d probably be less likely to skip his Rooms-to-Go payment this month.

So here’s your wrap of all-things Golden Balls…

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Following in the footsteps of Hotties Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, NBA Hottie Lebron James has been announced as the host for the season premiere of Saturday Night Live in September.  It is possible he parlayed his recent stint on the ESPYs into a gig hosting SNL when he parodied Bobby Brown by singing “My Lebrongative.”  Hmmmm.  Well considering the current state of SNL, Lebron should fit right in.  Kidding!  I think Manning had a very funny episode and Lebron could definitely produce something awesome as well.  [Please Let Him Host Weekend Update]

Hit & Run

Ken Griffey, Jr., hit career homer number 587, to go into 6th place on the all-time list, in a 10-3 victory over the Braves. Congrats to Griffey! Only 13 more till 600.  (At least my autographed Griffey ball isn’t just sitting on my desk collecting dust anymore.)

Hit & Run: The Call Up

Everyone has heard about Mark Cuban and the Cubs. Everyone has heard about the David Beckham spectacle. Everyone has heard about Gary Sheffield’s thoughts on Joe Torre. Everyone has heard about the Phillies’ 10,000th loss (boo!). So my news items for today are going to consist solely of hotties that recently got the call up to The Show. That’s news you can really use.

D.J. Houlton – Dodgers, P
called up from AAA-Las Vegas on July 15th

Check out the other newly-minted Big Leaguers (at least, they’re in the big leagues for now), after the jump – and let me know if there are any called-up hotties I missed!

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Alright, so this is a day old but it bears repeating: WTF were you thinking Tuesday night LaRussa? You’ve got the best hitter in baseball twiddling his thumbs on the bench and you don’t put him in? You save him for extra innings? Well, you know what? You don’t get to GO to extra innings if you don’t tie it up in the 9th! And who agrees with me: Cardinals Hottie Albert Pujols. He was more than a little annoyed at not getting put in the game and you know: seriously. Why haul your cookies all the way to the Bay to ride the pine? I’m sorry, Albert. Take heart: Tony is not a hottie and you are. MOUAH! [Warlock Benches Prince Albert. Booooooo.]

Hit and Run July 11, 2007 – Ennui, poker, crew, and 58 more days to go

Historically, if you were to look at my life, July has never been good to me.  July is generally when I have moved, made career changes, and yet again failed to win the World Series of Poker.  (Disclosure – I have yet to pony up the $10K to play in the Main Event, but every year I wish I would have.) 

2007  does not seem to be any different than any other year.  Oh sure, the end of the month has potential, but I’m not going to bank on it just yet.  Maybe.  Kinda.  Trying not to.  We’ll see.

This is when sports is supposed to pick you up.   

What do I get for mid-summer night’s dream blues? What helps me through my sports ennui?

Hit & Run: No Phillies This Time?

Can this be? A Texas Gal H&R without an item on Pat Burrell, Aaron Rowand or Chase Utley?!? Not even a tidbit on Cole Hamels or Ryan Howard or Jimmy Rollins? Nope- not this week… and I’m even including news about the Cards AND the Braves. How’s that for inclusiveness?

* Miggy is out, Albert Pujols is now in for the Home Run Derby in San Francisco tomorrow night. The reason he agreed to participate? Because his son asked him to. [Say it with me... awwww!]

* Jarrod Saltalamacchia, the hottest guy with 14 letters in his last name, made it back to the Braves lineup (as a first baseman!) on Saturday after taking a foul tip to the cranium in Friday night’s game against the Padres. Salty cracked jokes about his injury, [I'm betting his agent wasn't so jovial].

* Everyone in Chicago can finally calm down: lumberjack hottie Mark Buehrle resigned with the White Sox, to the tune of $56MM over 4 years. The always-quotable Jim Thome summed it up best with, ["What a happy day."]

* Jeff Bailey also had a great weekend- the career minor leaguer (11 years in the minors, without a single big league at-bat!) not only got called up to The Show on Friday for the Red Sox, he also popped a homerun in just his 9th at-bat in the majors. [His Red Sox teammates had to barter with the fan who caught the ball], I would have held out for a lot more than a couple of signed balls.

Come on now, surely you didn’t think that I could REALLY do one of these without any Phillies news? Got to give love to the entire Phillies roster for jumping into the fray with the Colorado grounds crew doing battle with the tarp on Sunday, risking life and limb in the process. And BOO to the entire Rockies roster for their absence of assistance– except LaTroy Hawkins, who knew he’d be good for something?

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

MLB Hotties the Colorado Rockies have done something that no baseball team has managed to do since 1956: they swept two New York clubs in the same season. The Rockies swept the Yankees a couple weeks ago and then last night took the Mets out behind the woodshed to the tune of 17-7 to complete the sweep. The last time a team did this was when the ’56 Milwaukee Braves swept both the New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers in the same season. Tap the Rockies, indeed. The Ladies salute you. [Boys in Purple Pinstripes Top Gangs of New York]

Hump Day Hottie: USA! USA! USA!

It is your duty, as a patriotic American, to celebrate the glorious Fourth by checking out hottie American athletes in all their USA-licious best. Fortunately for you, TheStarterWife and I have done all the leg work- and you only have to sit back, scroll and enjoy. Land of plenty, indeed. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

(Updated for Joey Chestnut goodness!)

Huston Street

Tons more lovely red-white-and-blue goodies after the jump…

Hit & Run

Nice ass, Koby…

Roger Clemens wins #350, pitching 8 innings, and allowing only two hits. Torii Hunter is now 0-for-life against Clemens, after going 0-for-3 last night.

Hit & Run: Comin’ At Ya From HTown

Y’all are getting a 3-shot H&R today, because I’m on my way out the door to play 18 holes in the oppressive Houston heat, and I need to conserve energy for the ballgame tonight (so I can cheer for newly minted All-Star Aaron Rowand – squee!). Here it is, quick and dirty…

* Cubs tag-team of LSU boys Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot are on fire. My favorite Cubbie, Ryan (whose assets were already strong enough to land him a spot on the Best Butts Countdown), went 3-for-4 on Sunday, continuing his great season for Chicago, and Mike is now so popular with Cubs fans the PR folks debated whether to repaint the Michael Barrett bobbleheads (given away at yesterday’s game) to make them look like Mike of the Fontenot variety. Any time there are two Cajuns roaming the Friendly Confines, I’m a happy girl.

* Jacoby Ellsbury, Ladies’ mascot (ok, that may have been just me on that one) and uber-hottie, got the call up to The Show on Saturday, and is already making an impact (getting his first hit that night). While most everyone fawns over him, the rain on the parade has already started from J.D. Drew’s corner.

* I might as well go ahead and confess my dark, dirty and shameful secret: I think Scott Proctor is hot. And that temper of his that caused him to start a campfire with his equipment (after yet another sucky day on the mound)? Only makes him hotter (no pun intended). He says it was all a joke; I say- darlin’, if the Yankee pinstripes didn’t put me off you forever, a little dugout bonfire ain’t gonna change things. Burn, baby, burn.

Congrats on making the All-Star team Bacon Pants, Beckett and Papyboo!
(Yes, this is just an excuse to post hot pictures of my baseball boyfriends)

Hottie Hit and Run – Wet and Wild Wednesday

Yes, it is very hot outside.  Would I like to go swimming? But Mr. Webber, I didn’t bring my bikini.  Bra and panties?  I guess you’re right, they are basically the same as a bikini aren’t they.

(Big thanks to the lovely and talented Leave the Man Alone for sending in this hot pic. Let this be a challenge to our readers; It is summer time and I demand to see more athletes in bathing suits, so send in what you got!)

Hit & Run: The Loooong Edition

I was going to start with the Mets’ win over the Cardinals, but I found these pictures and just had to share at least one:

Aw, Tiger looks so happy!  You can find more at Tiger Woods’ site.  Sam looks so cute, and not unlike a little meerkat.  And I say that as someone whose own newborn looked very meerkat-ish.

Ahem. Onto your regularly scheduled hotties…

Hit & Run: I Could Really Go For Some Mutton Chops

* My dream pairing of Josh “Tall Texan” Beckett and Jonathan “Cajun Closer” Papelbon tag-teamed to handily dispense of the Padres yesterday, earning Josh a MLB-leading 11th win and Papyboo his 18th save. [Jake Peavy didn't stand a chance.] And let’s hope Dice-K made it out of Petco (and his Maddux encounter) alive.

* Pat “Slowcamotive” Burrell, meanwhile, dreams of someday… you know… HITTING THE BALL. He is hitting just .146 since April 26th- and the natives are (once again) growing very restless. [When MLB.com a/k/a "Baseball's Sunshine-Pumping Mouthpiece" writes up an article about your suckitude, you know you're in trouble.]

* Fellow Phillie Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand is having a spectacular year- and the talk of him getting a spot on the All-Star roster has begun. Obviously, he’s #1 (with a bullet) on my own personal All-Star roster. In other news, which might or might not be happening behind the scenes- I wouldn’t know because I’m trying to ignore it: [Lalalalala, I can't hear those trade rumors!]

* Michael “Sucker Punch” Barrett is settling in just fine in sunny San Diego, thank you very much. And if anyone else in Chicago is missing him, the Cubs are still giving away Mikey B jerseys tomorrow and Mikey B bobbleheads on July 1st. [Mikey is 2 Good + 2 Be = 4 Gotten]

* Start with Sox, end with Sox. The Dirt Dogs are calling up Kason “I’m New Around Here, But I’m Really Hot” Gabbard to start on Tuesday (and not Jon Lester, as previously discussed). He’ll be filling in for DL’ed Curt Schilling. [It's a definite huge step up, hottie-wise.]

Congratulations also go out to Georgia boy Dustin McGowan for his near-no-no (broken up in the 9th inning), 1-hit shutout complete game against the Rockies. He’s actually way cuter than those stupid mutton chops would lead you to believe.

 

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Baseball Hottie (he’s not a stone fox, but he’s a cutie) Sammy Sosa has become just the fifth member of the prestigious 600 Home Run Club, hitting a home run in the bottom of the 5th against Cubs pitcher Jason Marquis. The members of the 600 Club include Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and now Sosa. Quite the elite group, I must say. By the end of the season, we could add a 6th name in Ken Griffey Jr. Anyway, good job Sammy. [I Will Always Remember the Summer of 1998 Very Fondly, Congratulations, Sammy Sosa]

Hit and Run – Now with 99.9% more bluegrass

The Louisville Cardinals were eliminated by #3 UNC in the CWS, in a 3-1 ballgame that saw the Cards just get three hits.  (Considering they had just lost to #2 Rice 15-10 with 15 hits, I’m surprised they had any strength left in them.)  Cutie on the left here is senior Trystan Magnuson who closed out the game for the Cards.

For the Tarheels, pitcher Luke Putkonen went 7 innings and threw 7 strike-outs but really didn’t look as cute on the mound.

 

 

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Hit & Run

 

Congrats, Tiger!  His wife, Elin, gave birth to a baby girl, Sam Alexis Woods, early Monday morning. I’m sure the baby’s beautiful.  Where do I ship my gift? 

Hit and Run: Winning, Losing, Hurting, Hitting & Fighting

* Jonathan Papelbon notched his 16th save on Saturday, helping the Sox to a 1-0 win over the Giants (en route to a 3-game sweep). Is it wrong that I cross my fingers and hope the Sox are only up by 3 or less every 8th inning? [The Times says the Sox are winning for all the wrong reasons]- I say, keep those wins coming.

* On the other side of Fenway Park, guitar-strumming hottie Barry Zito was wondering what the heck has gone wrong for him so far. He’s 6-7 with a 4.41 ERA this year, just after signing the largest contract ever given to a pitcher (not named Clemens). [$126MM smackeroos can change a lot of things, I guess.]

* A very deep sigh of relief: Aaron Rowand left the game early yesterday after limping away from the plate, but he says he’ll be back in the lineup tonight. WHEW. [Bacon Pants- Whatever it is you're doing to give yourself a "cramp in your left groin and calf", please stop it. Love, Clare & TG] Also, Clare & TG are steadfastly ignoring any and all possibilities Mr. Rowand will be traded away from Philly, because surely the Phils’ front office couldn’t be that crazy, right? Ahem.

* Chipper Jones, switch hitter and old school hottie extraordinaire (remember his cute rookie face back in ’95?), racked up his 2,000th career hit yesterday. [The Chip played it off as "pretty cool"] – I think Larry wants to celebrate at Hooters.

* So, what’s gonna happen with Michael Barrett? Even this giant Cubs homer can see he’s struggling behind the plate- and that’s not even taking the arguments with Zambrano and Hill into account. [Someway, somehow, I'd like to blame this all on Dusty Baker.]

And, oh yeah- Angel Cabrera won the U.S. Open. Big whoop. Call me when he can rock a pair of plaid pants like hottie Aaron Baddeley.

Wednesday Hit and Run – No-No = YES! (Updated)

No hits and 12Ks.  Justin Verlander, you are beyond hot.

And your girlfriend…

Hit & Run

 
Yeah, I think he’s hot, and what?

Michael Barrett – good for what ails you.  In his second start after wrasslin’ with the catcher, Carlos Zambrano goes 8 innings over Houston, allowing only 3 hits, and hitting a home run.  Now that’s the crazy Carlos Zambrano we all know and love.

Hit & Run: I Have To Start Paying Attention To That?

On Sunday, Lewis Hamilton became the first black Formula One Driver to win an event at the Canadian Grand Prix. He is the first black man to win any major racing event. He finished 4.3 seconds ahead of Nick Heidfeld. I’m not too good at math, but hot guy + fast car + danger + hot British accent = me in love. [Probably more like in lust, but you get what I'm saying.]

Hit & Run: Quack Mother F**king Quack

The Anaheim Ducks are one win away from hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup, behind Andy McDonald‘s two goals. Wonder what they’ll do with it if (when?) they win. I’d like to drink out of the Stanley Cup someday.

Georgetown Hoya Roy Hibbert was invited to tryout for the U.S. heading down to the Pan-American Games in Brazil. Yeah, like any college male would turn down the chance to spend 16 days in Rio de Janeiro. He better stock up on condoms and sun tan lotion.