Hit & Run-Because There Really Isn’t Anything Going On Right Now

Seriously, nothing of remote interest is playing on television right now. I mean, I guess I could say Cubs-Brewers, but it’s a late July series. Do Cubs fans and Brewers fan really see this series of great importance? I mean, more than all games being of great importance?

Actually, don’t answer that. The point is I’m bored out of my mind right now with sports and I’m pretty sure most of you are as well. So let’s do this, shall we?

So maybe the little bit about the Cubs and Brewers were just an excuse to post a Rich Harden picture. Am I wrong in doing that?

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Hit and Run: Because It’s Wednesday

Since I am not going to talk about baseball, let’s talk about the many wonderful sporting events that will soon be starting. As SA mentioned earlier today, the Olympics are less than three weeks away, so let’s enjoy some Olympic hotness. Michael Phelps is on the cover of this week’s Sports Illustrated, and below is Steven Lopez, an Olympian at taekwondo.

He can kick the crap out of you. Literally.

He can kick the crap out of you. Literally.

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Hit and Run: Just When It’s My Turn to Post

My Cubs were on a 14-game home winning streak going into last night’s game. Nothing lasts forever, of course, but couldn’t they have made it one more game so that I could write about a win? Nope. Brian Roberts, who almost was a Cub, decided to show the Cubs’ management exactly what they missed out on. He had three hits, and George Sherrill struck out the side, after loading up the bases, in the bottom of the ninth. Alas. At least we’re still the best team in baseball.

They might have lost, but they are still adorable! ((AP Photo/Paul Beaty)

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Hit and Run: Because things need to be said, and briefly.


I don’t know if you all knew this, but the Celtics won the NBA Championship! As the resident NBA posting Lady, I feel remiss that I didn’t post about this last week! But oh well. Congrats Celtics! Now I must also apologize to the Celtics franchise and their fans. I had them pegged to lose to the Lakers. Not that I wanted them to lose (as I hate the Lakers), but they had just played so inconsistently! Heck, Atlanta took them to seven games! So I’m sorry KG, Paul, Ray. I’m sorry Boston. I should have kept the faith. You deserved to win. Now please, if you don’t mind, could you keep the douchey fandom to a minimum? Nothing is worse than an asshat, cocky, Boston fan. (Except maybe an asshat, cocky Yankees fan…)

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Hit & Run: The One Where I Can’t Think of a Catchy Title

Picture courtesy of The Onion.

Prince Fielder, of the Milwaukee Brewers, is told by the IRS: “Pay up, bitch!” He owes more than $400,000 in back taxes. Granted, he could’ve paid it off by now. But it’s more fun to speculate what he could’ve bought instead of paying his taxes. The entire inventory of a Krispy Kremes? 8,000 copies of Metal Gear Solid? 40,000 tickets to “Get Smart”? 500 Coach bags? (WANT!) Continue reading

Hit and Run: NBA Playoffs and Crush Update

As much as I love basketball, I’m ready for the playoffs to stop being the playoffs and start being the NBA Finals. It’s time for some of these teams to get on with their off-seasons already (ahem Utah, Cleveland, Orlando, SAN ANTONIO). As much as I will loathe this paragraph in the barren basketball-less months to come, let’s get it moving people!

Celtics v. Cavaliers (2-2)

It looks like the Celtics are trying to be the team that wins it all but makes it look way harder than it should. On paper and in reality the Celtics should be beating the Cavaliers handily, or only losing in close games because LeBron goes off for 40 points or something. But they aren’t. The Hawks took them to a game 7, and it looks like the Cavaliers are on the way to doing the same. Don’t get me wrong, I think the Celtics will pull it out in the end, but it will be IN THE END. I feel like their motto has become, why win in 4 what we can in 7? This is in direct conflict with my motto for the series, which is “WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU JUST FINISH OFF LESSER TEAMS IN AN APPROPRIATELY LOW NUMBER OF GAMES??”

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Hit & Run: The One Where Work is Sucking the Life-blood Out of Me

This right here is Fernando Martinez, our newest Met. He’s a cutie, and I can’t wait to see more of him this summer. Not only is he cute, but he’s a hell of a ballplayer, with a personality to match. He’s respectful to the veterans, humble, hardworking – everything I want in my team’s top prospect. And he likes dancing in the rain (as do I!):

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Hit n Run

A Thursday Hit n Run? I KNOW! Gettin’ all craaaazy up in here! Anyway, last night was Dick Vitale’s triumphant return to college basketball after being diagnosed with vocal nodules back in December. I’ll admit my secret shame: I kind of love Dick Vitale. Can he get annoying sometimes? Sure. But most of the time I find his absolute balls-out love of college basketball to be endearing. In the story about his return, it said the UNC students welcomed him with chants and applause until he was overcome with emotion and crying. Awwww! Also right before halftime, he said “Hansbrough’s gonna TOUCH IT!” Classic Dickie V.

Feelin’ better, bay-bee!

Hit n Run

Celtics Hottie Ray Allen had a career-high 35 points in the Celtics win over the Portland Trailblazers. They really needed to find a morale booster after back-to-back losses. I mean, they went from having 4 losses to 6 losses in the span of two games. That’s rough. But they kept their wits about them and beat the Trailblazers, those plucky Celtics. Allen went on a tear after halftime; 26 of his 35 points came in the second half when he went 9-of-13 from the floor. Also, he is not to be confused (as I sometimes do) with Allen Ray of the eye-poking out incident.

Hit & Run: Everything’s Better at 100 mph

Happy (belated) 23rd birthday, Lebron!  Also, sweetie, don’t drive over the speed limit.  Especially not 35 mph over!  He was ticketed on December 30th, at 3 am, and his attorney has filed a not guilty plea.  A hearing is scheduled for February 11.  After yesterday’s practice, James said: “I was doing 101. That’s it. I was speeding. I’ve just got to abide by the law. I got caught. It happens.  I don’t know (if I will continue traveling at such speeds), maybe at times. It’s not a big deal to me. You’ve just got to abide by the rules that’s all. I made a mistake and I’ll live with it.”

Nice cavalier attitude there, James. (I’m sorry.) Continue reading

Hit & Run: Was there a football game on last night?

Bob Sanders of the Indianapolis Colts was named the NFL Defensive Player of the Year. It isn’t quite the MVP Award (we all know that the Dreamboat won that), but it’s still an honor for Sanders to be recognized for his defensive prowess.

Oh, who am I kidding? Does anyone actually care about this?

Don’t look so forlorn, buddy – Holly cares about ya! Continue reading

Hump Day Hottie Hit and Run: Pro Bowl Edition

There are a number of different ways I could go with today’s Hit and Run. I could talk about Danny Haren’s “Hi, I’m a D-back now” press conference,

or The Great One’s Phoenix Coyotes clowning my Flyers, or Shaun White being cited for setting off a fire extinguisher in a hotel while he was drunk (and really, who among us hasn’t done that?) or The Rocket vehmently denying the claims in the Mitchell report that he used The Steroids, but since the 2008 Pro Bowl rosters were announced yesterday, let’s take an in-depth look at the hotties who’ll be getting a free trip to Hawaii this February.

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Hit n Run: Good MLB News Before the Storm Breaks

Cy Young Hottie Jake Peavy has just inked the biggest deal in San Diego Padres history. According to the article, here is the payment schedule: Peavy will make $6.5 million in 2008 and $11 million in 2009. The new money kicks in in 2010, when he’ll make $15 million. He’ll earn $16 million in 2011 and $17 million in 2012. The club holds a $22 million option for 2013, or a $4 million buyout. If he remains with the Padres through 2013, he’ll make $87.5 million. [Holy Crap, That is a Lot of Money]

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Hit & Run: I think the Falcons were a teensy bit distracted, no?

The New Orleans Saints walloped the Atlanta Falcons, 34-14, in the Monday night game. I, of course, didn’t watch the game because (wait for it) I went to Walmart to look for a toy. Also, I was a bit bored. Sometimes, when I’m bored, I head to Walmart to see what sticks. I really prefer Target but eh, Walmart’s okay in a pinch. Yesterday, I picked up some tapioca pudding, some PlayDoh, a few pairs of trouser socks, a package of gel pens, a pair of Tinkerbell slippers (for Baby Mets) and a loaf of bread. I love being able to pick up all kinds of crap in one place. But I did not find the toy I was looking for. That damn Little Tikes Sing Along CD player is sold out everywhere.

Anyways, Drew Brees passed for 300+ yards and 3 TDs in an impressive performance. I forget which of the Ladies… has Drew, but those are some pretty numbers right there. Continue reading

Hottie Hit n Run: Heisman Edition

The 4 Heisman candidates were announced last night, so I thought we’d take a gander at the nominees. These four fine strapping young lads will travel to New York City on Saturday for the ceremony, though most people seem to think it is a foregone conclusion that the winner will be a certain Gator (booooo). I am grudgingly inclined to agree, now that Dennis Dixon is not a contender. (He coulda been a contender!) Anyway, I now present the Heisman Finalists for 2007. They can be our Heis Men. Rise Men. Size Men. Lies [down next to us] Men. (I know, it’s a stretch.)

Colt Brennan

This one’s for you, Metsy.
Also, has LaRussa been teaching him tricks?

Colt has taken the Rainbow Warriors to the only perfect season in Bowl Subdivision football. Hawaii is on their way to their first-ever BCS bowl, as they meet up with Georgia in the Sugar Bowl on New Year’s Day. This season Colt passed for 4,174 yards and 38 touchdowns. He also set the all-time touchdown passes record of 131. Continue reading

Hit & Run

Tom Brady and his Patriots pulled a miracle out of their asses and beat the Baltimore Ravens, 27-24, last night, thanks to the Ravens’ many penalties. I didn’t see the game (of course – but I have a good excuse! My laptop nearly died, and it was only my brother-in-law’s expert care that brought it back from the brink. I spent all last night at his place getting that fixed.), but you know that other Ladies… did!

You better join me after the jump, or Tom will impregnate you! Continue reading

Hottie Hit n Run

In Coaching Carousel News, the LSU Tigers have granted Les Miles permission to talk to Michigan about the head coaching job. LSU athletic director Skip Bertman granted the request on condition that Michigan representatives wait until after Saturday’s Southeastern Conference championship game in Atlanta before starting negotiations. Michigan AD Bill Martin was quoted as saying, “We’ll have the finest facilities in the country. We also have patience to work with a coach as he transitions in.” Heh. [Look, SA, Look! The Wolverines are going after Les Miles! No more of this Ferentz talk. You don't want him anyway.]

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Hit and Run: A funny thing happened on the way to the Coliseum

The Dodgers announced this week that they will be playing an exhibition game against Red Sox next Spring at the Coliseum as part of their “move to Los Angeles” 50 year anniversary celebration. (No word on matching protests in Brooklyn.) The Coliseum was legendary for its shallow left field – 250 feet from home plate – and the giant screen that marked where they outfield ended.

Interestingly enough, the USC Trojans are doing some saber-rattling over leaving the Coliseum in favor of the Rose Bowl in Pasadena after disagreeing with the City over building improvements and lease terms. (Ed. Note – Why some sad sacks think that building can still be improved enough to be a modern NFL facility is beyond me.) This of course leading up the big game this week against UCLA at – you guess it – the Rose Bowl. With a win, USC can clinch a spot in… wait for it… the Rose Bowl.

We need some Booty to show us where to go. Continue reading

Hit & Run


Well, the Steelers-Dolphins game finally ended. The Steelers beat the hapless, winless Dolphins on a last-second field goal. That seemed like a long, boring affair. I’ll admit it, I didn’t watch most of it (now how many times in the past 2+ months have I said that?). TSW (and any other Steelers fans) can regale us with tales of the game in the comments.


Coach Tomlin wants YOU to continue reading after the jump! Continue reading


Is Mercury in retrograde? Have the stars knocked back a few too many cosmos (I am so sorry) at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? I swear, I leave the internets alone for FIVE HOURS, and look at what happens:

Quack Attack, off the tracks: Oregon 24, Arizona 34. Dennis Dixon is out of commission and Oregon is out of the national title game. I wouldn’t call myself a Pac-10 homer by a long shot, but I’ve been watching a lot of Duck football this year, Dixon in particular, and whatever your allegiances, you can’t argue they’re a hell of a lot of fun to watch. That said: Losing the linchpin of your entire offense is one thing, but as far as I know Dennis didn’t maim any of his own teammates on the way off the field. A defensive collapse of this magnitude against Arizona is pretty much unforgivable, though not unexpected in the larger picture of CFB 2K7: Year of The Hell?.


Oh, Dennis. Your Crazy Eyes only make you more alluring.

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Hottie Hit n Run: Guess Who’s Back Edition

Heat Hottie (heh heh) Dwyane Wade is back in the lineup for Miami.  Unfortunately, I had him on my bench last night so his 15 points, 5 assists and 3 steals were all for naught (at least in my little world.  And let’s be honest, fantasy basketball is all that matters here, people).  [He's Back, He's Back!  HER-CA-LEES!  HER-CA-LEES!]

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Hit & Run

The Seattle Seahawks beat the hapless San Francisco 49ers, 24-0, bringing the Niners losing streak to 7 games.   Okay, I didn’t watch this game, because I was playing MLB Power Pros on my Wii.  This game is awesome, if only because the video game version of Hideki Okajima of the Boston Red Sox does the exact same little “look-away” thing that the real Okajima does when he pitches.  Also, because video-game D-Wright’s eyes are so very blue. Continue reading