Hit and Run: With a Perfect Buehrle

Rays White Sox Baseball

So it was a busy week as baseball got back into the groove of things after the All Star break. There was a whole lot going on. Brand new division leaders, a naked Tony Bernazard, and to top it all off, a PERFECT GAME! More on all of this week’s happenings after the jump.

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Hit and Run: In Which Barry Zito’s BABIP Regresses, Right Before Our Eyes!

A.k.a. the “Complete MLB Rundown (To The Exclusion Of Everything Else)” edition. Why? Because I can. Yesterday’s scores presented BBC-style for extra hilarity and confusion.

  • Red Sox 3 – 5 Blue Jays. Sevven sollid innings from Tallet (see what I did there?) provide a lead for Scott Downs to preserve, bringing them back into 2nd place in the mighty AL East. Go Jays!
  • Marlins 7 – 3 Mets. Tim Redding sucks. Josh Johnson doesn’t. Go Fish!
  • Braves 2 – 3 Diamondbacks. There are a lot of 3s today. Eric Byrnes finally does something good; namely, driving in the winning run in the 11th. No, wearing awesome socks doesn’t automatically mean that you’ve done something good.
  • Dodgers 0 – 7 Cubs. Eric Stults fails as Dodgers get shut out for the first time all year. You know, I like the guy, but hey dude, put up or shut up. As in, put up zeros on the scoreboard, or shut the hell up when the reporters interview you and ask why you sucked. Go ahead, say, “I sucked”. David Ortiz did, you can too! Ugh. STULTS. My boy Brent Leach faces 1 batter, records 2 groundouts, because he’s cool like that. Go Dodgers.
  • Twins 2 – 5 Rays. David Price blah blah blah 11 strikeouts blah blah blah 1st Major League win blah blah blah Free Rick Porcello!
  • Reds 5 – 9 Brewers. Some dudes hit some home runs.
  • Tigers 6 – 3 Orioles. Is Luke Scott on steroids? Naw, he’s just in an un-slump.
  • Astros 4 – 7 Pirates. Hey guys, the Pirates just won another game. Meanwhile, the Astros lost another one and are hopelessly out of contention. Kind of like the Nationals.
  • Yankees 10 – 5 Indians. Your first double-digit scoring game of the night was notable only for the fact that CC Sabathia gave up runs. I really hate that guy. Oh, and Nick Swisher (perhaps better known simply as AJ Burnett’s new boyfriend) hit a home run. I’m sure they celebrated in an entirely appropriate fashion that didn’t involve ice cream or maple syrup or leather and chains. No, I didn’t just imply that.
  • Nationals 6 – 9 Phillies. Cole Hamels gets shelled but gets the win anyway. Disgusting. Lidge doesn’t implode, but his ERA is still above 8. Good luck with that, buddy.
  • White Sox 5 – 3 Royals. Gil Meche gets no love from the bullpen. Which sucks.
  • Athletics 1 – 14 Rangers. The average Leverage Index for this game was so low that it actually may have caused a Fangraphs implosion. Seriously, check it out:

  • Padres 7 – 8 Rockies. This game is actually so boring that there’s no proof it happened, so I can’t tell you what happened, although I’m sure if you really want to know you can look it up somewhere.
  • Mariners 4 – 3 Angels. If you’re a Mariners fan, then Jose Lopez is your saviour. On the other hand, if you’re a Mariners fan, then you probably have bigger problems, including the fact that your #5 starter is actually a vampire. That’s my clever way of saying that I sort of have a crush on Jason Vargas.
  • Cardinals 6 – 2 Giants. Zito was doing fine until he gave up 3 consecutive doubles in the 7th. Actually, on a team that didn’t epitomize suckitude, he would’ve had an easy shot at winning this game, except that 1) Albert Pujols is on steroids and 2) The Giants suck, ergo, their bullpen sucks, ergo, their starters don’t win unless they pitch complete game shutouts. Except for that one time, but I’m pretty sure that was an accident. Oh, and Albert Pujols did do something good; namely, he struck out looking on a curveball from Zito that came thisclose to making me scream in delight. (I did actually sort of whimper, but the sexual power of a pitch like that is a discussion for another time. Just watch any Roy Halladay start, or a good AJ Burnett start. You’ll understand.)

Good morning. I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside like me.

Hit and Run: There is Still Hope in Cleveland Today

LeBron_James23

Things got a little scary for Cleveland this week. Their series against the Magic took an ugly turn when they fell 3 games to 1. The Nuggets gave the Lakers a run for their money but with a 3-2 lead, it looks like LA will find themselves in the finals once again. It is déjà-vu all over again for the Stanley Cup Finals as the Penguins and Red Wings face off for the second time in as many years. And amidst all the playoff fun this week, there was some baseball thrown in there as well.

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Hit and Run: Basketball breaks my heart, so I find solace in football…

I know how you feel, Roy. I know how you feel...

This has been a rough week for me as a sports fan. I have found myself in the odd position of having to defend my team, not only to others but to myself. I bitched all pre-season about how much I hated all the rankings. Too many expectations only means you crash harder when you inevitably slip from that lofty perch. I knew my team wouldn’t go undefeated; we didn’t last year and we are essentially the same team. But there is still nothing harder than watching the boys you love lose, and then LOSE AGAIN!!! (And then to watch that first team who beat you go on and lose to HARVARD. Harvard. I didn’t even know the Ivy’s had basketball!) There is also nothing worse than to kinda hate some of the members of your team. What was that Wayne Ellington? You thought you could go pro? How ’bout you jack up not one, not two, but THREE airballs?? That’s what they do in the pros, right? Or perhaps Ty Lawson. So called best point guard in all the land. Maybe you should have more points that turnovers in the first half. Sometimes that helps. Or maybe you should have atleast some ability to guard your man.  Is keeping him from scoring 30+ points unreasonable? Is that too much to ask? Thank the sweet baby Jesus for Danny Green. And Tyler Hansbrough’s first half effort. Ugh. I haven’t even watched Sportscenter this week because I can’t bear to hear all the shit they are saying. It makes me kind of sick.

I’m sure there are people revelling in my despair.

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Hit and Run: New Year’s Games Edition

Nam Y. Huh (AP)

Source: Nam Y. Huh (AP)

Happy New Year, y’all!  If you are like me, New Year’s Day is a day best spent wearing your pajamas and watching the bowl games.  (Although this year I did actually get dressed about noonish.)  This year, channel surfing between bowl games included a stopover for some hockey at Wrigley Field, where the Red Wings beat the Blackhawks 6-4, while wearing some stylish throwback unis.  The Chicago crowd seemed very into the game, despite the cold (and the losing).

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Hit & Run: Bingo Bango

The Allen Iverson-led Pistons shut down the Cavaliers and their 8-game winning streak, 96-89.  Lebron had 25 points, against Iverson’s 23 points.  I am quite fond of Allen Iverson’s chocolate brown eyes, but watching his body in motion is pretty sweet, too.  And yes, I’m quite aware of the irony of my admiring his body in motion, and using a still photo to prove that point, but bear with me.

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Hit & Run

In news that only I care about, David Wright and Carlos Beltran get Gold Gloves in the National League.  I’m a little dismayed at the lack of GG love for Santana, who is a joy to watch fielding his position.  Instead, Greg Maddux gets a record 18th Gold Glove for his fielding excellence.

Also winning Gold Gloves were Yadier Molina, Adrian Gonzalez, Jimmy Rollins, Brandon Phillips, Nate McClouth and Shane Victorino.

In other good news for Mets fans, the team picked up the option on Carlos Delgado.  Now, they’ve just got to find a whole new bullpen.

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Hit & Run: And the Phillies Win. Grumble, Grumble.


If you want more pics, find them yourself.

As I write this, Baby Mets’ Phanatic is taunting me.  He’s staring at me with his evil, beady eyes.  He’s sticking out his little red tongue at me.  Stop it, Phanatic, or you’ll go back from whence you came!

So, as everyone knows, in the continuation of Game 5 (started Monday), the Phillies beat the Rays 4-3.  This is where I’d give you some analysis about the game, or the Series, but I saw that VH1 was wrapping up their 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs, and that was enough to lure me away from the WS.  (BTW, Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power” was voted #1.) Continue reading

Hit & Run: Pacman, will you never learn?

Another day, another run-in with the po-po.  While at a Luda party (I would give my first born to attend a party thrown by Ludacris), he went at it with his Cowboys babysitter “bodyguard”.  He’s lucky that he wasn’t arrested, but he’s really putting his namesake to shame. (FYI: for the longest time, I thought his real name was Pacman.  C’mon, there are kids named Pilot Inspektor and Kenadi running around out there.  Pacman isn’t that much of a stretch.)


This Pacman is cuter.

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Hottie Hit & Run: Hot men are evidence that God exists…

O Hai there Ryan Lochte and Jay-Z. Is it some sort of rule that Olympic medalists have to carry those things around for the entire year after the games are over? That would get annoying. I mean they don’t really go with anything… On the plus side, I was super-afraid Lochte was going to fade into obscurity after the Olympics whilest The Phelps took over the stinking world. But no. He’s staying out in the limelight, looking hot, and quite dapper I might add. So keep it up Ryan, I love the suit. Although I prefer the Speedo, I’m okay with Armani as well.

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Hit & Run-Who Needs Debates When You Got Sports?

Yes, the Vice Presidential debates were last night. That’s nice. You know what else was on? Baseball. And football. And football. And baseball. It was a damn good night of sports, even those who teams didn’t perform the way they had wished. So let’s get to a few of the unpleasantness (like Georgetown having to cancel a game because of norovirus) out of the way first, starting with the Cubs.

Who's winning? It ain't the Cubbies. Sorry Chitown Chick.

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Hit & Run: I am at a loss for words

At least someone loves me…

I’m sitting here right now, with a pit in my stomach.  The season isn’t over, but I feel – seriously, I don’t even know what I feel anymore.  I’m spent.  This season has taken it out of me. I can’t even look for a picture, because I prefer to forget the past few hours.  Long story short, the Mets let countless opportunities slip through their fingers.  (That, or the Cubs pitchers just bore down at the right moment.  One or the other.)  And that is the game in a nutshell – a Cubs 9-6 victory over the Mets. Continue reading

Hit & Run: The Quickie Edition

I have no idea what Mark Teixeira is doing there.  I don’t even know why I keep looking at him, when Torii Hunter’s arms are on display.  But Tex has captivated me.  Dance your happy dance, Mark!  (There’s lots of great pics over at Getty Images.)

The Angels clinched the AL West by beating the Yankees, 4-2, and the Rangers losing to the Mariners 8-7.  They are the first team to clinch their division this season.

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Hit & Run: 3, 3 games up, AH AH AH

There will come a day when I will not open my Hit & Run with the Mets.  That day is not today.  They won yesterday, 9-2, completing a 3-game sweep of the Brewers. 

Ryan Church’s grand slam and Brian Schneider’s solo HR produced six Mets runs in the first, and Ollie Perez did the rest, going 6 2/3 innings.  The Phillies lost to the Nationals, 9-7, so the Mets’ lead in the NL East is now 3 games.  Meanwhile, the Cubs lost to the Astros, 4-0, keeping their 4 1/2 game lead over the Brewers in the NL Central. Continue reading

Hit & Run: A is for Awesome

I’m in an abusive relationship.  I give my all to it, my blood, my sweat, my tears, and if I’m lucky, I get a crumb of affection in return.  It’s a relationship into which I’ve poured countless amounts of money and tons of my time.  I get beaten up, but I come right back for more.

And you all know that I’m talking about my relationship with the Mets.  Tuesday night, I went to Philadelphia and reveled in the 7 run lead they immediately got.  However, those damn Phillies chipped away all night, and in the 13th inning, finally beat the Mets.  But yesterday was a new game, and the Mets were the ones who, down 3-1, came back to win 6-3, thanks to two Carlos Delgado HRs and a timely double by Daniel Murphy.

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Hit & Run: I Heart Baseball

First, I’ve got to tell you all: I’m the only one here apathetic to the Olympics.  I don’t not like them, I just don’t care.  So that’s why there really isn’t a whit of Olympics information in here.  I know Phelps and I know parts of the womens’ volleyball match that was on earlier yesterday, at my dentist’s office.

Anyways, back in MLB, my Mets finally have a laugher.  They beat the Nationals 12-0, on the strength of an 8-run third inning.  I felt bad for Jason Bergmann, the Nats’ starting pitcher, as he went to Rutgers also, but my team won!  Woot. Continue reading

Hit & Run: Bah, Why Do I Bother?

The Mets fell to 3 games back in the NL East, after yesterday’s 4-2 loss to the Padres.  Yeah, it’s only 3 games, but they’re not playing so hot anymore.  (Never mind that John Maine and Billy Wagner are both on the DL.  I swear, a few days ago I was looking at the 40-man roster, and it looks like an infirmary patient list.) They only scored two runs against Cha Seung Baek, who is 2-0 against the Mets this season.  David Wright not only committed a baserunning error in the 5th inning – getting doubled off first after Carlos Beltran’s fly ball to right field – but also committed a costly error that allowed the Pads to score the winning run.  Really don’t want to look at their hellish mistakes, so we get to look at Jose Reyes, who by the way, married his long-time girlfriend – and mother of two kids – a couple of weeks ago. Continue reading

Hit and Run: Tutu, Benny, the Riddler and Andy Murray


Tutu on the right, of course. And oh, look, the only photo I have of him happens to be one of him shirtless. You know me so well.

Lillian Thuram is retiring from soccer. Two things: One, I’m happy this has nothing to do with some sort of scary heart defect as previously thought. And two, I’m going to miss the man immensely.

Tutu’s always been classy as hell and made glasses look incredibly hot

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Hit & Run: Aw, Crap.

Lest I be accused of sweeping it under the carpet, I’ll lead with the Mets’ 7-5 loss to the Marlins. Le sigh. Couple that with the Phillies’ victory over the Nationals, that means that the Phillies are now back in 1st place, 1/2 a game ahead of the Mets. Josh Johnson pitched well for the Marlins, while Mike Pelfrey did not pitch well for the Mets, and there you have it. Continue reading