Massive NBA Preview Part III: Atlantic and Northwest Divisions

(Yes, this is the 999th post – expect the 1000th post, featuring our collective number one hottie (can you guess who it is?) in the afternoon.)

Ladies and gentlemen – especially ladies… – I present the final part of our Massive NBA Preview In Pictures: two divisions per week, ten teams every Friday until the season starts at the end of this month. What teams will be good, what teams will do badly, and what hotties you should keep an eye out for: this preview answers all your questions. The divisions are chosen mostly by which teams I have enough pictures for by Friday. This week: the Atlantic division, featuring the Boston Celtics, the Raptors, and some bad large-market teams; and the Northwest division, featuring the Blazers, Nuggets, Jazz, and the eviscerated remnants of Seattle’s collective basketball-fan psyche. On to the hot basketball players!

Kevin Garnett loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

Kevin Garnett loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

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Massive NBA Preview Part II: Southeast and Southwest

We now interrupt your previously scheduled 100 Hotties entertainment to bring you some even more previously scheduled entertainment. This is the second part of the Massive NBA Preview in Pictures: two divisions per week, ten teams every Friday until the season starts at the end of this month. What teams will be good, what teams will do badly, and what hotties you should keep an eye out for: this preview answers all your questions. The divisions are chosen mostly by which teams I have enough pictures for by Friday. This week: the Southeast division, featuring the Heat, the Magic, the and the Wizards, and the Southwest division, featuring the Hornets, Rockets and Spurs.

How will the Hawks do this season? More importantly, how much hotter can Al Horford possibly get?

How will the Hawks do this season? More importantly, how much hotter can Al Horford possibly get?

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Massive NBA Preview: Central and Pacific Divisions

This is the first part of the Massive NBA Preview in Pictures: two divisions per week, ten teams every Friday until the season starts at the end of this month. What teams will be good, what teams will do badly, and what hotties you should keep an eye out for: this preview answers all your questions. The divisions are chosen mostly by which teams I have enough pictures for by Friday. This week: the Central division, featuring the Pistons, Bulls, and Cavaliers, and the Pacific division, featuring the Suns, Lakers and Warriors.

Welcome to Cleveland. King Jesus plays here.

Welcome to Cleveland. King Jesus plays here.

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The Highs and Lows of the Advertising Age

Vintage hottie!

Vintage(and groundbreaking) hottie!

The Chronicle of Higher Education reported on their News Blog yesterday that the planned Ernie Davis statue at Syracuse University is suffering from an unfortunate case of anachronism:

The bronze sculpture, unveiled on the campus on Saturday, depicts Mr. Davis wearing Nike cleats and a jersey with a swoosh across his chest, the Associated Press reports. The problem? Mr. Davis hung up his cleats at Syracuse in 1961, years before the brand existed. The university said the mistakes were those of the sculptor, who also included a too-modern helmet.

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Hottie Prospectus: The F’s Up With the Giant Pretty Dude?

Rey Maualuga, 62, 240, LB for USC. Strangely attractive.

Rey Maualuga, 6'3", 255, LB for USC.

I was under the impression that linebackers were, you know, rather lumpy. Not pretty, or at least not appealing to my own sensibilities. Then this cat from USC started showing up in ads and on my television.

Why was I not made aware of this sooner?

More Rey, and other hottie prospects for next year’s NFL and NBA drafts, after the jump.

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And No One Made A Single “Thunderdome” Reference. Not One.

This past Wednesday, the not-really-that-secret new name for the former Seattle Supersonics was officially revealed, along with the

Behold the power of unoriginal thinking!

Source: AP via The Tulsa World

team logo and colors (sky blue, yellow, and the shade exactly between Sooner crimson and Cowboy orange.  No, seriously.)  Back in July, when “Thunder” first became the strongly rumored front-runner for the new name, I happened to be visiting my family in Tulsa and none of us were particularly impressed.  So, now that the new name comes complete with a shiny new look, I thought I’d check in and see if real, live Oklahomans (or at least those who would answer my email) had been swept up in Thundermania.

Eh, not so much.

The Nickname:

“Thunder is a pretty goofy pick, if we are going to be a generic name, pick an animal.  We should have been something with an Oklahoma connotation.  I guess at least we can use AC/DC’s Thunderstruck as a theme song.  So we may have the best intro song in the NBA. [Editor's Note: Not being a big AC/DC fan, I have to disagree with this point.]” — My father

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Friday Afternoon Grab-Bag: Wait, Two More Months?

I had a busy week, y’all, and I’m tired. It was my first week of classes, and of work; on top of that, there was cleaning up from Fay, taking care of new kittens, trying to figure out who to draft in fantasy football, and staying up for the DNC. Yes, I am a dork. But I am a sports dork, and as I paged through my planner this morning – determined to be organized for the first time in my life – my thoughts turned, as they often do, to basketball. Specifically, the NBA. And, as I actually noted the dates on my planner pages, my heart sank. The NBA’s season doesn’t start until October 31st. With a quadruple-header, no less! How am I going to deal that long?

But then, my heart sank even further, for at the end of my hectic week I realized: crap, I haven’t planned anything for my post this afternoon. I want to do right by you all, so I scoured my various folders for the very best of the pictures I’ve saved: pictures I’ve never had recourse to use here before, cute pictures, hot pictures, pictures for an off-season rainy day. For example, this picture of Kevin Garnett. Never had a post to use it in before; the Timberwolves jersey made it out of date before I even became a Lady. But I do appreciate his intensity here. And also, veins.

And so, join me in weeping at the length of the offseason enjoying the best of the basketball grab-bag – long on pictures, short on analysis – after the jump.
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Basketball Grabbag: Team Spain!

The Olympics are for chicks, and I mean that in absolutely the best way possible. We love the Olympics, and they love us – all the boy athletes we love to lust after have girl counterparts for us to root for, and everybody gets equal time. It’s the best time for hottie-spotting and for women’s sports. What’s not to love? Me, I love the Olympics for the same reason I love so many things: basketball.

See, I adore Team USA, I really do. I love Melo and Wade and Bron, I love Tayshaun, I love Chris Bosh. But I also love international competition, because it allows me to see so many hotties I never would see otherwise. Case in point: Team Spain. Case in point on Team Spain: Ricky Rubio. Does anybody know the Spanish for “wunderkind”?

Ricky Rubio, 6'4" starting point guard for Spain.

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Friday Afternoon Cheesecake: Guilty Crushes

The Olympics are here!…Well, on a tape delay, at least. Still, they’re very welcome – the natives have been getting restless on the interweb with, as my fellow Lady mentioned below, only baseball to keep us busy. But the Olympics won’t really be here until tonight, unfortunately. It’s Friday afternoon – who’s read to turn off their brains a little?

You see, this morning, I happened to turn on ESPN. Hmm, I thought absently, readying my breakfast, that guy’s kind of hot. Imagine my horror when I woke up a little to realize I had been admiring Mike Greenberg. These kinds of guilty little crushes happen to me all the time, as you’ll see under the jump. How about you, lovely readers? You got them too, right?

Joey Porter: Sucker-puncher, all-around jerk...attractive man. Alas.

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Women Fight With Fists, Not Pillows; Men Frightened, Confused

I watched this game, and let me just say – awesome. A good, close game, capped off by a bench-clearing brawl and multiple ejections? Does it get better than that? The suits that run professional basketball, and the players involved, may parrot the lines about “embarrassing the sport” and “not how we want to represent ourselves”. But it’s a simple truth: people love a good fight at a sporting event. Whether it’s hockey players ripping each other’s clothes off or baseball players ineffectually posturing at each other or soccer players slap-fighting and/or head-butting each other – fights are exciting! They bring an extra dimension to something that is, by nature, fairly routine. I mean, that’s why people watch hockey, right?

Here’s how it all went down:

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Best Sporting Dates

I went to my best friend’s wedding this weekend.  During the 8-hour drive back, I started thinking about what were some of the Best Sporting Timeframes.  With no further ado, here are my choices.  Feel free to argue with me in the comments.

Yay Giants!

Yay Giants!

Best Sporting Day
1.  The Super Bowl. You get together with your friends, eat good food, drink a lot, gamble on the game and laugh at the commercials.  The game is secondary.  And every once in awhile you get a year like this past one where the game lives up to the hype.  Awesome.

2.  Opening Day. Baseball begins.  The smell of spring, the crack of the bat, the sun shining on a beautiful April day.  Perfection.

3. January 1st. Hangover from the night before, wall-to-wall college football, in games that usually feature good teams, and generally good food and more alcohol when you’re recovered (or maybe you’re lucky enough to wake up drunk).

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Wrap-up, Special Weekend Edition: WRRRRYYYY, Hot Dogs

Happy long weekend! It’s the NBA offseason, and I’m here to bring you the moves – or not-moves – of this week in the NBA, as well as hot-dog eating, just because.

Filmmaker, friend of Alba, and noted bearded hottie Baron Davis opted out of his contract with the Golden State Warriors a year early this week to sign a million, six-year contract with the LA Clippers. So…what exactly is Fear the Beard supposed to do now?

Why, Baron? However is the Bay area going to be cool again without you?

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Michael Beasley Looks Better Horizontal, Or, The Only Draft Preview You Need

What? Don’t look at me like that. He does.

No, it's okay, Mike. You don't have to get up...

It’s that time of year again, kids – the best time of year for nineteen-to-twenty-two-year-old tall-skinny-hottie watching. That’s right. The 2008 NBA draft is tonight, and I’m here to guide you through it, player by player (but not pick by pick, because then I’m always wrong). So, here it is: Your absolutely objective, totally informed, journalistically integritous draft preview, courtesy of your friends here at the Ladies.

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Hit and Run: Just When It’s My Turn to Post

My Cubs were on a 14-game home winning streak going into last night’s game. Nothing lasts forever, of course, but couldn’t they have made it one more game so that I could write about a win? Nope. Brian Roberts, who almost was a Cub, decided to show the Cubs’ management exactly what they missed out on. He had three hits, and George Sherrill struck out the side, after loading up the bases, in the bottom of the ninth. Alas. At least we’re still the best team in baseball.

They might have lost, but they are still adorable! ((AP Photo/Paul Beaty)

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Hit and Run: Because things need to be said, and briefly.


I don’t know if you all knew this, but the Celtics won the NBA Championship! As the resident NBA posting Lady, I feel remiss that I didn’t post about this last week! But oh well. Congrats Celtics! Now I must also apologize to the Celtics franchise and their fans. I had them pegged to lose to the Lakers. Not that I wanted them to lose (as I hate the Lakers), but they had just played so inconsistently! Heck, Atlanta took them to seven games! So I’m sorry KG, Paul, Ray. I’m sorry Boston. I should have kept the faith. You deserved to win. Now please, if you don’t mind, could you keep the douchey fandom to a minimum? Nothing is worse than an asshat, cocky, Boston fan. (Except maybe an asshat, cocky Yankees fan…)

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Three Things, Ladies and Also Those Who Are Not Ladies

1: In the last two weeks or so, I have developed a violent crush on Michael Beasley.

Seriously, y’all. I got it bad. Everything I learn about the kid makes me like him more, from the “I’m nineteen, what do you want from me” thing to autographing his principle’s car to frightening/angering old white men. Michael, I’ll overlook your character issues any day.

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The Only Finals Preview You Need (Also Christina’s): Lakers Edition

The NBA’s most storied franchises, the Celtics and the Lakers, have met nine times in its Finals. Between the two, they hold twenty-nine of the league’s sixty championships, and one or both have been there 39 of its sixty years. As I learned at Basketbawful, home of great basketball analysis, eighteen of the league’s official Top 50 players of all time are from these two teams. Where do this year’s teams place in the pantheon of great Celtics and Lakers teams of the fifties, sixties and eighties? By extension, how does this year’s Finals match up with those of the past, and how do today’s player’s?

I think the most important question to ask, though, is this: who cares? We’re all about the here and now, people, and tonight there are talented hotties playing basketball.

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NBA Finals Preview Part 1: The Celtics

The NBA Finals are here! After weeks of triumph (yay Hornets!) and disappointment (I miss my Chris Paul) it has finally been whittled down to 2 teams, in a showdown which is probably best described as David Stern’s ultimate wet dream. The Boston Celtics will face off against the Los Angeles Lakers in a best of 7 series. NBA history, replaying itself during primetime (and in HD!). The NBA, IT MATTERS PEOPLE! This has been a crazy season from beginning to end. KG to the Celtics. Shaq to the Suns. Kobe not going anywhere (and finally stopping the whining which I had thought would be incessant). But for me, the Celtics have been the most compelling story this season (other than the Hornets, but we’re talking the Finals here and sadly my Chris Paul did not make it). A one season turn-around of unprecedented proportions. The acquisition of veteran talent which has put the Celtics back on the basketball map. So here is a run-down of how they got here and how I think they’ll fare in the end (hint: it’s not good). Join me, wont you?

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Winning the Lottery, One Basketball Player at a Time

Look, okay. We’ve already established that I’m a bad basketball fan. I get it! I try, I really do. But when my two choices to watch are Lakers/Spurs and Celtics/Pistons – when the closest thing to an exciting young team to root for is the Lakers – well, it’s enough to send any fan into wait-til-next-year mode. And who’s waiting for next year the most? Well, the team that won the lottery, of course: Continue reading


Last night was a sad night in basketball and today is my mourning/hangover period. Stupid San Antonio. Stupid defending champs. Stupid Manu Ginobili! (I irrationally dislike him. It’s mostly the name I think.) Now it’s time to face reality. He’s gone. I can’t believe he’s gone. How will I watch the rest of the NBA season without his smile? His speed? His almighty awesomeness? Chris Paul, I mourn the loss of thee on my television set.

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Hit and Run: NBA Playoffs and Crush Update

As much as I love basketball, I’m ready for the playoffs to stop being the playoffs and start being the NBA Finals. It’s time for some of these teams to get on with their off-seasons already (ahem Utah, Cleveland, Orlando, SAN ANTONIO). As much as I will loathe this paragraph in the barren basketball-less months to come, let’s get it moving people!

Celtics v. Cavaliers (2-2)

It looks like the Celtics are trying to be the team that wins it all but makes it look way harder than it should. On paper and in reality the Celtics should be beating the Cavaliers handily, or only losing in close games because LeBron goes off for 40 points or something. But they aren’t. The Hawks took them to a game 7, and it looks like the Cavaliers are on the way to doing the same. Don’t get me wrong, I think the Celtics will pull it out in the end, but it will be IN THE END. I feel like their motto has become, why win in 4 what we can in 7? This is in direct conflict with my motto for the series, which is “WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU JUST FINISH OFF LESSER TEAMS IN AN APPROPRIATELY LOW NUMBER OF GAMES??”

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Chris Paul Does Not Sleep. He Waits.

Chris Paul knows the singular of “thumbs up”.

So much I’ve missed to talk about in the last couple of weeks of the NBA playoffs. There was the Hawks…and then there wasn’t the Hawks. There were all the teams that lost, there was Steve breaking my heart again, there was an award for Kobe (and not an award for Al). There were sweeps, a seven game series, and the emasculation of LeBron, if only for a game. There was validation; there was utter wrongness. And, of course, there was Chris Paul.

Chris Paul is, at twenty-two, what Steve took thirty years to reach. He is elite. He is amazing. He had the best statistical season (according to PER) of anyone in NBA history except Michael Jordan: he is the GOATEFMJ. He deserves in-depth contemplation and analysis, which is why I’m not going to analyze a thing…except for cute/funny pictures of him, of course.

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I feel so dirty. But I like it.

So I’ve been watching a lot of NBA basketball lately. The Playoffs are actually exciting this year and well there really aren’t any other regularly televised sports that I want to watch. So as I was watching the first game of the Orlando-Detroit second round series and I found myself thinking bad, bad thoughts. Thoughts that I knew I shouldn’t be thinking. Thoughts for which I knew my friends would ridicule me. Thoughts that may very well damn my eternal soul. But there they were, floating around in my brain nonetheless. What should I do about them? Should I divulge these awful thoughts, these vile feelings? Should I let the world in on my dirty little secret? Will I be able to forgive myself for openly admitting to such blasphemous tendencies? I’ll let you be the judge…

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Racing makes me sad. Basketball makes me happy!

I love horses, so stinking pretty.

So I spent yesterday reading my first non-school related book in over a month, and preparing to watch racing of all sorts. First up, Kentucky Derby. A three frickin’ hour telecast for a 2 minute race. Ohhh NBC, way to milk that for every advertising penny. Big Brown, the favorite, won by 5 horse lengths. Coming in second was the only filly in the group, Eight Belles. A filly hadn’t been entered in the Kentucky Derby for something like 9 years. After a strong second place finish, Eight Belles collapsed on the cool-down lap after breaking BOTH her front ankles. Apparently this injury was too much for any horse to come back from (giant body, spindly legs) and she was immediately euthanized on the track. Ugh. This was basically the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. The trainer and jockey were in tears. This poor horse was in so much pain they had to put her down IMMEDIATELY. They couldn’t even take her to a vet hospital. Way to start my sports watching on a sad note.

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Go Hawks!

This is how many people thought we’d actually make it this far!

If you love basketball (and don’t happen to be particularly attached to the Celtics) you have to love the Celtics-Hawks first round series. The Hawks take it to Game 7! Who would have thought that the number 1 seed Celtics would have this much trouble with the young and feisty Atlanta Hawks? I think most people had them out in 4, maybe 5 to be generous. But really, the point of this whole post, is so I can post pictures of the oh-so-adorable Al Horford. I love him. One of the other Ladies… introduced me to his beauty, and well, I am eternally grateful. Enjoy…

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The Post In Which I Completely Pat Myself On The Back

Remember back in March when Lady A announced that as a blog we were doing an in-house bet? Well, that bet wasn’t anything too big. Whoever won the tourny pool would get a banner with their favorite hotties on it. Well, thanks to Kansas (it’s like they keep giving me reasons to love them) I won the tourny. And because of the win I get my own hottie banner. As you can see above, my banner only features my three favs: Gerald Henderson, Curtis Granderson, and Tom Brady. Why those three? Check the reason after the jump. Continue reading


For a college basketball fanatic as myself, there is really nothing worse than this time of year. The season is over. And for every team but stupid Kansas, it ended on a bad note. The worst part of all is the 3 or so weeks of “what if” that gets played. What if my favorite player declares early for the NBA draft? What if they all (everyone that is eligible, that is) come back and combine with our new players to create a super team that is sure to win the championship next year?! What if only some come back? What if they all leave? (Poor Memphis fans, I totally feel for you!) Then this week rolls around. The official deadline to declare for the NBA draft is April 27th, i.e. this Sunday. So today, Friday the 25th, seemed to be the day that most fans figured an announcement, if still pending, would be made. AND IT WAS!


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