Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

The Hotties of the Colorado Rockies completed a 3-game sweep of the NL Central-leading Brewers yesterday afternoon with a 19-4 routing. That’s practically a football score! (In fact, one year the Iowa/PSU game was 6-4, so I think this one counts as a football score). 3B Garrett Atkins and SS Troy Tulowitzki had 4 hits apiece and drove in 9 of the team’s 19 runs. Plus, they are both really cute. Tap the Rockies, indeed. [The Cubs and Cardinals (Who Are Not Out of It Yet, Thankyouverymuch) Would like to Thank the Colorado Rockies and Their Brooms]

Garrett Atkins

Hit and Run: And I’ve got issues (yeah)/Like I miss you (yeah)

Yesterday was a pretty lousy day in the sports world — lots of pining for things gone missing — so let’s make this quick.

Kevin Garnett breaks the hearts of T-Wolves fans and becomes a Celtic.

BOTH Phillies right fielders Shane Victorino and Michael Bourn were placed on the DL yesterday. Texas Gal and I will miss their speed on the basepaths.

Sad news out of Phoenix: A police report states that drugs, drug paraphernalia and a loaded handgun were found in Rod Beck’s home on the day he died. Very unfortunate indeed.

Rawlings dumps their sponsorship of the beleaguered Michael Vick. He’ll miss the scrilla.

I leave you with some cute sleeping puppies in order to get the crappy taste out of your mouth.

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Following in the footsteps of Hotties Michael Jordan, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, NBA Hottie Lebron James has been announced as the host for the season premiere of Saturday Night Live in September.  It is possible he parlayed his recent stint on the ESPYs into a gig hosting SNL when he parodied Bobby Brown by singing “My Lebrongative.”  Hmmmm.  Well considering the current state of SNL, Lebron should fit right in.  Kidding!  I think Manning had a very funny episode and Lebron could definitely produce something awesome as well.  [Please Let Him Host Weekend Update]

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Alright, so this is a day old but it bears repeating: WTF were you thinking Tuesday night LaRussa? You’ve got the best hitter in baseball twiddling his thumbs on the bench and you don’t put him in? You save him for extra innings? Well, you know what? You don’t get to GO to extra innings if you don’t tie it up in the 9th! And who agrees with me: Cardinals Hottie Albert Pujols. He was more than a little annoyed at not getting put in the game and you know: seriously. Why haul your cookies all the way to the Bay to ride the pine? I’m sorry, Albert. Take heart: Tony is not a hottie and you are. MOUAH! [Warlock Benches Prince Albert. Booooooo.]

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

MLB Hotties the Colorado Rockies have done something that no baseball team has managed to do since 1956: they swept two New York clubs in the same season. The Rockies swept the Yankees a couple weeks ago and then last night took the Mets out behind the woodshed to the tune of 17-7 to complete the sweep. The last time a team did this was when the ’56 Milwaukee Braves swept both the New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers in the same season. Tap the Rockies, indeed. The Ladies salute you. [Boys in Purple Pinstripes Top Gangs of New York]

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Baseball Hottie (he’s not a stone fox, but he’s a cutie) Sammy Sosa has become just the fifth member of the prestigious 600 Home Run Club, hitting a home run in the bottom of the 5th against Cubs pitcher Jason Marquis. The members of the 600 Club include Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and now Sosa. Quite the elite group, I must say. By the end of the season, we could add a 6th name in Ken Griffey Jr. Anyway, good job Sammy. [I Will Always Remember the Summer of 1998 Very Fondly, Congratulations, Sammy Sosa]

Why is yours bigger than mine?

Congratulations to San Antonio Spurs on their elevenity-billionth NBA Title and your new Mega-Dynasty, (or so ESPN and Dan Patrick say), and to Tony Parker winning the MVP.

NBA Thunderdome: TWO SUPERSTARS ENTER, ONE SUPERSTAR LEAVES

Well, the NBA finals are upon us. The playoffs began back in February and since then, baseball is 1/3 of the way done, hockey is wrapped up, Greg Oden has sired another vampire, Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls have abandoned me, and Billy Donovan has held, at last count, 7 different coaching positions.

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

This headline was just too good to resist: Case of Beer Gets the Best of Parnevik’s Toe. It was about how pro golfer Jesper Parnevik went running into the cabin of his boat and jammed his toe on a case of beer. Seriously. That’s the whole story. It made me laugh too hard to pass up for the Hottie Hit n Run, so Jesper Parnevik, the Ladies salute you. We all like beer. It could have happened to anyone. [I Ran into a Case of Beer Once. It was called Case Races]

Hit & Run

 

Fight! Fight! Fight!  Robert Horry pushed Steve Nash into the scorer’s table yesterday,  guaranteeing himself a nice suspension.  Later, Nash waited for him outside the arena, and the two pushed each other and yelled “Hold me back, hold me back!” to their teammates.  (Not true.) Suns tie the series with the Spurs, purchase boxing gloves for the next game.

 

 Representing the Scarlet Knights, Jason Bergmann of the Washington Nationals took a no-hit bid into the eight inning, until giving up a solo home run to the Braves’ Brian McCann.  Fellow Scarlet Knight and Manalapan High School grad David DeJesus of the Kansas City Royals went 1-5 with a triple in the Royals’ 2-1 win over the Oakland A’s.  DeJesus’ triple didn’t figure into the final score, but dammit, he and Bergmann were classmates of mine at Rutgers, so you’ll read it and you’ll like it! 

Hottie Hit and Run: I’m just a boy with a new haircut/And that’s a pretty nice haircut

The B&T eyebrows aren’t quite so noticeable now

Which is the bigger story: Barry Bonds hits No. 745 off Tom Glavine, Glavine still gets win No. 294 in the books, or pretty much everyone on the Mets’ 25-man roster shaves their heads before BP? (Big smooches to Metschick for the tip.) [How will Shaun Green keep his yarmulke on now?]

Vintage hottie alert: Doug Flutie, Ahmad Rashad and Reggie Williams are among this year’s inductees to the College Football Hall of Fame. Joe Paterno (not a hottie) will also receive his induction this year, after skipping last year’s ceremony because of his broken leg. [I predict a run on Flutie Flakes]

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

In an attempt to garner some of the Barbaro nuts’ affections, which are severely lacking around here, I’m leading off the Hit n Run today with Curlin (isn’t he a beauty? /Steve Irwin). Fair Curlin is a horse who may end up being the first colt in the history of watching little men spur equines around in a circle while drinking and wearing big floppy hats (the watchers, not the little men) to win the Kentucky Derby without having raced as a 2 year-old. I don’t really know what that means but break a leg, Curlin! [Move yer bloomin' arse!]

Yesterday, golf hottie Tiger Woods and basketball hottie Michael Jordan paired up at a Pro-Am in Charlotte, North Carolina. I personally love both of these athletes a lot because I think they seem fun (I know, I know, Tiger Woods, snoozefest, whatever, it’s MY ARTICLE) and based on the stories I read, it sounds like they had fun all day at the tournament. There were mock stare-downs, kicking golf balls off of tees, coughing during backswings, etc. Again, I know you’re all thinking, “Wow, golfers sure can party, Andrea.” But I think it sounds like a fun time. [So much money on one pro-am team]

Hottie Hit and Run: Om shanti, shanti shanti, shanti om

Today, I’m pinch hitting for TheStarterWife on Hit and Run duties. I know I cannot possibly be as cute as him, but I hope I’m as good at pinch hitting as Phillies bench hottie Greg Dobbs is.

Chase Utley’s been taking lessons from Tony LaRussa.

When you’re so amped up your pitching coach has to come to the mound in the second inning to ask you if you’re “on something,” you know you’ve got to dial it back. I don’t know what Ladies… favorite Cole Hamels did to get his head right after getting dinged for three runs in the first inning of last night’s game against the Atlanta Braves — chamomile tea, a little yoga, some Enya in the dugout? Whatever it was, it worked. Phils come out on top, 6 to 4. [Om mani padme om]

Dallas ekes out a W over the Golden State Warriors. Perhaps it was Avery Johnson’s tongue-lashing of Dirk Nowitzki (not like that, you pervs) that snapped him out of his funk? [Mark Cuban's playoff beard gets a few more grays]

NBA Northwest: There’s A Cute Guy Or Two

While looking through the Northwest division I kept saying one thing over and over again-eh. And that’s sums up the quality of hot basketball players. Out of five teams I barely got four and added a fifth so it didn’t seem so glum. I will say one thing thought-the Trailblazers have one spiffy website. Far and away the best out of the teams in the division.

The Utah Jazz have won the division and they’ll be the fourth seed in the playoffs. The Denver Nuggets finished second and is currently (and probably stay) in the sixth position for playoff seeding. Everyone else (Minnesota Timberwolves, Seattle Sonics, and the aforementioned Portland) are out of it.

To cheer us up before the jump, here is Eduardo Najera. I’ll learn Spanish for him. He plays for Denver. That’s good to know if I ever take a vacation there.

NBA Pacific: Gonna Wash That Division Right Outta My Hair

So, somehow Lady Andrea really got the short straw when it came to NBA Hotties. I mean, Texas Gal got the tag-team of Arenas and Wade and I got freakin’ Kobe Bryant, who is objectively good-looking but I cannot stand. The Pacific Division overall is totally busted. Anyway, I did happen to find some WOW HOT pictures of Amare Stoudemire from the Phoenix Suns, so that sort of made up for it. God bless America, indeed.  He can pledge my allegiance.  Or something.  There’s more where that came from after the jump…

NBA Hotties- Southeast Spice

This hottie selection was hard to put together. Not because the Southeast Division (of the Eastern Conference, for those of you keeping score at home) is lacking in hotties- because that is most certainly not the case. Two of the hottest men in the NBA play in this division, and would make any all-NBA hottie list. The problem is that I had to drag myself away kicking and screaming from my current obsession with baseball to make it happen- and that’s no easy task. So when I tell you that I was more than rewarded for my efforts with a treasure trove of hotties in the SE, you gotta know these guys are HOTT. With two T’s, y’all.

Sweet lord, could there be a finer sandwich to get in the middle of?

Check out the full hottie lineup after the jump.

NBA Hotties – Central Heating Edition

Hello.  Perhaps you do not know me.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Jeff Foster and I am the center for the Indiana Pacers.  Tell me about you though, enough of about me.  Stare deep into my eyes, lean into me as I lean into you, and tell me everything.  It is just you and I in this locker room… how did such a smart and good looking cheerleader wander into the men’s locker room? No matter.  You’re here now and you are all I can focus on.

Hottie Vision – Mark Cuban

Perhaps the most unconventional hottie that’s been featured on Hottie Vision, Mark Cuban isn’t normally the guy that comes to mind when you think “hottie”. But Mark is that kind of sexy that comes from a combination of intelligence, wit, power and more than a touch of geeky enthusiasm. His undying love for sports is part of what makes him so attractive- and I won’t lie, the possibility that he could buy the Cubs makes me happier than, well, a kid on an Easter Sunday morning egg hunt.

Mark appeared this week on “Mad Money” on CNBC, in a special program broadcasting from Indiana University (his alma mater). He talks about everything from the Mavs to his advice to new entrepreneurs to Youtube to the possibility of buying the Cubs. After the jump, check out the videos of his two segments on the show- an interview and a Q&A with the audience.

Thursday’s Hottie Hit n Run

Cal Ripken Jr. has been hired by TBS as an analyst for the network’s Major League Baseball package. I know Ripken may not be the hottest guy around anymore, but back in the day I always had a mad crush on him. Those blue eyes are a panty-dropper if I ever saw one. [I Bet He'll Set Some Kind of Consecutive Days At Work Record Too]

Hottie Baller Gilbert Arenas had a collision with Gerald Wallace in last night’s game and is now having an MRI done on his knee to determine the extent of the injury. With only 8 games remaining in the regular season, things might not look so good for Agent Zero [Harry Potter taken down by Bobcat]

Knowing Your Hot Owners – Wyc Grousbeck, Boston Celtics

(First in a series highlighting some of the hotter pro-sports team owners.  There are some gems to be found among all those pasty old white men.  Don’t worry, Mark, we’ll get to you.)

What makes Wyc Grousbeck a hottie  -

Plays drums in a classic rock band, French Lick.

A degree in history from Princeton,  JD from Michigan Law School, and MBA from Stanford Business School.  Hot, hot, hot.  

Viewer’s Guide: NBA All-Star Hotties

Some Viewer’s Guides will tell you about who to watch to catch amazing three-point shooting, or outstanding defensive skills, or spectacular rebounding. Not this one. This Viewer’s Guide highlights the hottest All-Stars to keep your eyes on during the NBA All-Star Game tomorrow night. You can find the X’s and O’s anywhere, we’re trying to help you enjoy the scenery along the way.

Something’s happening in my knickerbockers…

Congratulations to David Lee of the New York Knicks for being named MVP of the Sophomores-Freshmen game. It must be hard to score 30 points, (hitting all 14 field-goal attempts along the way), while being so damn sexy.

With this performance, he’s now in the race for this year’s Spring Fling Court and is a lock for next year’s roster in Junior-Senior game.