Basketball Grabbag: Team Spain!

The Olympics are for chicks, and I mean that in absolutely the best way possible. We love the Olympics, and they love us – all the boy athletes we love to lust after have girl counterparts for us to root for, and everybody gets equal time. It’s the best time for hottie-spotting and for women’s sports. What’s not to love? Me, I love the Olympics for the same reason I love so many things: basketball.

See, I adore Team USA, I really do. I love Melo and Wade and Bron, I love Tayshaun, I love Chris Bosh. But I also love international competition, because it allows me to see so many hotties I never would see otherwise. Case in point: Team Spain. Case in point on Team Spain: Ricky Rubio. Does anybody know the Spanish for “wunderkind”?

Ricky Rubio, 6'4" starting point guard for Spain.

Best Sporting Dates

I went to my best friend’s wedding this weekend.  During the 8-hour drive back, I started thinking about what were some of the Best Sporting Timeframes.  With no further ado, here are my choices.  Feel free to argue with me in the comments.

Yay Giants!

Best Sporting Day
1.  The Super Bowl. You get together with your friends, eat good food, drink a lot, gamble on the game and laugh at the commercials.  The game is secondary.  And every once in awhile you get a year like this past one where the game lives up to the hype.  Awesome.

2.  Opening Day. Baseball begins.  The smell of spring, the crack of the bat, the sun shining on a beautiful April day.  Perfection.

3. January 1st. Hangover from the night before, wall-to-wall college football, in games that usually feature good teams, and generally good food and more alcohol when you’re recovered (or maybe you’re lucky enough to wake up drunk).

Wrap-up, Special Weekend Edition: WRRRRYYYY, Hot Dogs

Happy long weekend! It’s the NBA offseason, and I’m here to bring you the moves – or not-moves – of this week in the NBA, as well as hot-dog eating, just because.

Filmmaker, friend of Alba, and noted bearded hottie Baron Davis opted out of his contract with the Golden State Warriors a year early this week to sign a million, six-year contract with the LA Clippers. So…what exactly is Fear the Beard supposed to do now?

Why, Baron? However is the Bay area going to be cool again without you?

Welcome Home, Derrick Rose

Congratulations to Chicagoan Derrick Rose who will once again represent the 312 after he was picked first by the Chicago Bulls in last night’s NBA Draft. Your city has missed you, and we’re glad to have you back!

Michael Beasley Looks Better Horizontal, Or, The Only Draft Preview You Need

What? Don’t look at me like that. He does.

No, it's okay, Mike. You don't have to get up...

It’s that time of year again, kids – the best time of year for nineteen-to-twenty-two-year-old tall-skinny-hottie watching. That’s right. The 2008 NBA draft is tonight, and I’m here to guide you through it, player by player (but not pick by pick, because then I’m always wrong). So, here it is: Your absolutely objective, totally informed, journalistically integritous draft preview, courtesy of your friends here at the Ladies.

Hit and Run: Just When It’s My Turn to Post

My Cubs were on a 14-game home winning streak going into last night’s game. Nothing lasts forever, of course, but couldn’t they have made it one more game so that I could write about a win? Nope. Brian Roberts, who almost was a Cub, decided to show the Cubs’ management exactly what they missed out on. He had three hits, and George Sherrill struck out the side, after loading up the bases, in the bottom of the ninth. Alas. At least we’re still the best team in baseball.

They might have lost, but they are still adorable! ((AP Photo/Paul Beaty)

Hit and Run: Because things need to be said, and briefly.

I don’t know if you all knew this, but the Celtics won the NBA Championship! As the resident NBA posting Lady, I feel remiss that I didn’t post about this last week! But oh well. Congrats Celtics! Now I must also apologize to the Celtics franchise and their fans. I had them pegged to lose to the Lakers. Not that I wanted them to lose (as I hate the Lakers), but they had just played so inconsistently! Heck, Atlanta took them to seven games! So I’m sorry KG, Paul, Ray. I’m sorry Boston. I should have kept the faith. You deserved to win. Now please, if you don’t mind, could you keep the douchey fandom to a minimum? Nothing is worse than an asshat, cocky, Boston fan. (Except maybe an asshat, cocky Yankees fan…)

Three Things, Ladies and Also Those Who Are Not Ladies

1: In the last two weeks or so, I have developed a violent crush on Michael Beasley.

Seriously, y’all. I got it bad. Everything I learn about the kid makes me like him more, from the “I’m nineteen, what do you want from me” thing to autographing his principle’s car to frightening/angering old white men. Michael, I’ll overlook your character issues any day.

Chitown Chick’s Luck Theory

Mama always says that pigs get fat, and hogs go to slaughter. That is central to my luck theory – get greedy, and your luck will run out. This theory has been proven by the sporting world of my hometown recently.

The Only Finals Preview You Need (Also Christina’s): Lakers Edition

The NBA’s most storied franchises, the Celtics and the Lakers, have met nine times in its Finals. Between the two, they hold twenty-nine of the league’s sixty championships, and one or both have been there 39 of its sixty years. As I learned at Basketbawful, home of great basketball analysis, eighteen of the league’s official Top 50 players of all time are from these two teams. Where do this year’s teams place in the pantheon of great Celtics and Lakers teams of the fifties, sixties and eighties? By extension, how does this year’s Finals match up with those of the past, and how do today’s player’s?

I think the most important question to ask, though, is this: who cares? We’re all about the here and now, people, and tonight there are talented hotties playing basketball.

NBA Finals Preview Part 1: The Celtics

The NBA Finals are here! After weeks of triumph (yay Hornets!) and disappointment (I miss my Chris Paul) it has finally been whittled down to 2 teams, in a showdown which is probably best described as David Stern’s ultimate wet dream. The Boston Celtics will face off against the Los Angeles Lakers in a best of 7 series. NBA history, replaying itself during primetime (and in HD!). The NBA, IT MATTERS PEOPLE! This has been a crazy season from beginning to end. KG to the Celtics. Shaq to the Suns. Kobe not going anywhere (and finally stopping the whining which I had thought would be incessant). But for me, the Celtics have been the most compelling story this season (other than the Hornets, but we’re talking the Finals here and sadly my Chris Paul did not make it). A one season turn-around of unprecedented proportions. The acquisition of veteran talent which has put the Celtics back on the basketball map. So here is a run-down of how they got here and how I think they’ll fare in the end (hint: it’s not good). Join me, wont you?

Winning the Lottery, One Basketball Player at a Time

Look, okay. We’ve already established that I’m a bad basketball fan. I get it! I try, I really do. But when my two choices to watch are Lakers/Spurs and Celtics/Pistons – when the closest thing to an exciting young team to root for is the Lakers – well, it’s enough to send any fan into wait-til-next-year mode. And who’s waiting for next year the most? Well, the team that won the lottery, of course:

DON’T LEAVE ME!

Last night was a sad night in basketball and today is my mourning/hangover period. Stupid San Antonio. Stupid defending champs. Stupid Manu Ginobili! (I irrationally dislike him. It’s mostly the name I think.) Now it’s time to face reality. He’s gone. I can’t believe he’s gone. How will I watch the rest of the NBA season without his smile? His speed? His almighty awesomeness? Chris Paul, I mourn the loss of thee on my television set.

Hit and Run: NBA Playoffs and Crush Update

As much as I love basketball, I’m ready for the playoffs to stop being the playoffs and start being the NBA Finals. It’s time for some of these teams to get on with their off-seasons already (ahem Utah, Cleveland, Orlando, SAN ANTONIO). As much as I will loathe this paragraph in the barren basketball-less months to come, let’s get it moving people!

Celtics v. Cavaliers (2-2)

It looks like the Celtics are trying to be the team that wins it all but makes it look way harder than it should. On paper and in reality the Celtics should be beating the Cavaliers handily, or only losing in close games because LeBron goes off for 40 points or something. But they aren’t. The Hawks took them to a game 7, and it looks like the Cavaliers are on the way to doing the same. Don’t get me wrong, I think the Celtics will pull it out in the end, but it will be IN THE END. I feel like their motto has become, why win in 4 what we can in 7? This is in direct conflict with my motto for the series, which is “WHY THE HECK CAN’T YOU JUST FINISH OFF LESSER TEAMS IN AN APPROPRIATELY LOW NUMBER OF GAMES??”

Chris Paul Does Not Sleep. He Waits.

Chris Paul knows the singular of “thumbs up”.

So much I’ve missed to talk about in the last couple of weeks of the NBA playoffs. There was the Hawks…and then there wasn’t the Hawks. There were all the teams that lost, there was Steve breaking my heart again, there was an award for Kobe (and not an award for Al). There were sweeps, a seven game series, and the emasculation of LeBron, if only for a game. There was validation; there was utter wrongness. And, of course, there was Chris Paul.

Chris Paul is, at twenty-two, what Steve took thirty years to reach. He is elite. He is amazing. He had the best statistical season (according to PER) of anyone in NBA history except Michael Jordan: he is the GOATEFMJ. He deserves in-depth contemplation and analysis, which is why I’m not going to analyze a thing…except for cute/funny pictures of him, of course.

I feel so dirty. But I like it.

So I’ve been watching a lot of NBA basketball lately. The Playoffs are actually exciting this year and well there really aren’t any other regularly televised sports that I want to watch. So as I was watching the first game of the Orlando-Detroit second round series and I found myself thinking bad, bad thoughts. Thoughts that I knew I shouldn’t be thinking. Thoughts for which I knew my friends would ridicule me. Thoughts that may very well damn my eternal soul. But there they were, floating around in my brain nonetheless. What should I do about them? Should I divulge these awful thoughts, these vile feelings? Should I let the world in on my dirty little secret? Will I be able to forgive myself for openly admitting to such blasphemous tendencies? I’ll let you be the judge…

Racing makes me sad. Basketball makes me happy!

I love horses, so stinking pretty.

So I spent yesterday reading my first non-school related book in over a month, and preparing to watch racing of all sorts. First up, Kentucky Derby. A three frickin’ hour telecast for a 2 minute race. Ohhh NBC, way to milk that for every advertising penny. Big Brown, the favorite, won by 5 horse lengths. Coming in second was the only filly in the group, Eight Belles. A filly hadn’t been entered in the Kentucky Derby for something like 9 years. After a strong second place finish, Eight Belles collapsed on the cool-down lap after breaking BOTH her front ankles. Apparently this injury was too much for any horse to come back from (giant body, spindly legs) and she was immediately euthanized on the track. Ugh. This was basically the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. The trainer and jockey were in tears. This poor horse was in so much pain they had to put her down IMMEDIATELY. They couldn’t even take her to a vet hospital. Way to start my sports watching on a sad note.

Go Hawks!

This is how many people thought we’d actually make it this far!

If you love basketball (and don’t happen to be particularly attached to the Celtics) you have to love the Celtics-Hawks first round series. The Hawks take it to Game 7! Who would have thought that the number 1 seed Celtics would have this much trouble with the young and feisty Atlanta Hawks? I think most people had them out in 4, maybe 5 to be generous. But really, the point of this whole post, is so I can post pictures of the oh-so-adorable Al Horford. I love him. One of the other Ladies… introduced me to his beauty, and well, I am eternally grateful. Enjoy…

Playoff Hotties: We’re Going to Miss You in About a Week Edition

In no particular order, let’s take a look at the boys we probably won’t be seeing much of in two or three games!

Denver: Kleiza!
To sum up the Denver defense:

THIS! IS! DENvahh fuck it.

Well, to be fair, Linas always plays hard.

Nom nom nom…I mean, uh. If you’re into that sort of thing.

Hump Day Hottie: Washington Wizards

While this isn’t my favorite time of year, I must admit that it’s pretty cool that both the NBA and NHL have their playoffs and Finals during the same time of year. Every single night there is some type of sporting event you can watch. Which means that every single night there are hotties running up and down the court or skating around the rink. It gives us a chance to observe all the men we would (or have) normally miss. So while the NBA and the NHL goes through their playoffs from now until June we’re going to make our Hump Day Hottie a team event. Up first is the Washington Wizards. Cause who knows how long they’re gonna still be in the playoffs.

This is Caron Butler. He looks 10x hotter in a Wizards uniform than a Huskies one. Between us Caron we’ll forget you went to that pesky school in Connecticut, ok?

NBA MVP Race Run-Down

Mistress Christina here. So this is my first, of which I am sure will be many, basketball-centric post. Be kind.

NBA MVP race. Four consensus candidates. All viable. How to choose? Now I know this has been discussed (ad nauseum in some cases) but I feel that most traditional sports writers have failed to judge the MVP candidates on one all important factor: HOTNESS. I mean really. If I’m going to give out my vote for MVP, it’s not going to a troll! So lets get this party started.

The Only NBA Playoffs Preview You Need

Sorry, D-Wade. Not you.

Hey, everybody. I’m Maria Alana, and I’m here to guide you through the National Basketball Association’s postseason. It’s important to have an idea of how the basketball matchups will go, but it’s just as important – maybe even more so – to check out the Hottie Matchups of each series. Let’s get to it!

Playoffs?!? PLAYOFFS?!?

First off, an excuse to post this YouTube clip:

Hit & Run-Happy March Madness!

Today is about one thing-watching basketball from noon until midnight. And as I’m pretty sure even the college basketball hater is going to be plopping him/herself down on a bar stool or a couch sometime today let’s hurry and get to some of the bigger non-college basketball stories from yesterday.

The Ladies… Are Back in Action

After taking a much-needed vacation, the Ladies are back. We are tanned, rested and ready to rock. Here’s what’s been going on with Sporting Hotties around the country…

The Boston Celtics continue to dominate the NBA. They’ve played 58 games and have only lost 12 of them, despite having a mascot that looks like the love-child of the ND leprechaun and your drunk uncle Seamus.

To go with that ridiculous record, the Celtics also have some ridiculous hotties:

Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce.
Hot Guy Yahtzee!

Lawyers, Guns, and Money – Hit and Run

I don’t get a chances to talk about the NBA. At least not on a daily basis. First off, I am surrounded by insufferable Laker fans. Are all Laker fans insufferable? Doubtful, but tolerable ones never seem to cross my path. Secondly, my good friend – as I have mentioned a couple of times in the past – is a die-hard Cavs fan. And while we have no few problems managing our Steelers-Browns relationship, our Pistons-Cavs rivalry is never spoken of lest we have a repeat of the 2005 March of the Penguins blow-up or the 2004 Kyoto Protocol /Vivid Girls smackdown.

So please excuse me while I take this moment to yell, “Nine in a row! Nine in a row! The Piston’s come back in the fourth quarter to win nine in a row!”

Don’t Rasheed and Tyronn look cute hugging? Like two puppies on a valentine.

Hit n Run

A Thursday Hit n Run? I KNOW! Gettin’ all craaaazy up in here! Anyway, last night was Dick Vitale’s triumphant return to college basketball after being diagnosed with vocal nodules back in December. I’ll admit my secret shame: I kind of love Dick Vitale. Can he get annoying sometimes? Sure. But most of the time I find his absolute balls-out love of college basketball to be endearing. In the story about his return, it said the UNC students welcomed him with chants and applause until he was overcome with emotion and crying. Awwww! Also right before halftime, he said “Hansbrough’s gonna TOUCH IT!” Classic Dickie V.

Feelin’ better, bay-bee!

Hit n Run

Celtics Hottie Ray Allen had a career-high 35 points in the Celtics win over the Portland Trailblazers. They really needed to find a morale booster after back-to-back losses. I mean, they went from having 4 losses to 6 losses in the span of two games. That’s rough. But they kept their wits about them and beat the Trailblazers, those plucky Celtics. Allen went on a tear after halftime; 26 of his 35 points came in the second half when he went 9-of-13 from the floor. Also, he is not to be confused (as I sometimes do) with Allen Ray of the eye-poking out incident.

Hottie Hit n Run

In Coaching Carousel News, the LSU Tigers have granted Les Miles permission to talk to Michigan about the head coaching job. LSU athletic director Skip Bertman granted the request on condition that Michigan representatives wait until after Saturday’s Southeastern Conference championship game in Atlanta before starting negotiations. Michigan AD Bill Martin was quoted as saying, “We’ll have the finest facilities in the country. We also have patience to work with a coach as he transitions in.” Heh. [Look, SA, Look! The Wolverines are going after Les Miles! No more of this Ferentz talk. You don't want him anyway.]

Hottie Hit n Run: Guess Who’s Back Edition

Heat Hottie (heh heh) Dwyane Wade is back in the lineup for Miami.  Unfortunately, I had him on my bench last night so his 15 points, 5 assists and 3 steals were all for naught (at least in my little world.  And let’s be honest, fantasy basketball is all that matters here, people).  [He's Back, He's Back!  HER-CA-LEES!  HER-CA-LEES!]