Ladies and stat nerds unite: in celebration of F-Gut!

Stat-nerds have been falling all over themselves in adoration of Franklin Gutierrez’s astounding CF defense, which is so stunningly awesome that the Mariners are hanging on to him for four more years. But don’t leave the F-Gut lovin’ to the statheads* – he’s someone the Ladies… can appreciate as well. Behold:

He is the WORLD. It says so right on his jersey.

*I, much like Crane, proudly belong to that set of people. Give me FanGraphs or give me death!

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I have to do this eventually, I might as well do it now.

Well.

It was supposed to be the Yankees.

It wasn’t.

I’m going to miss you, you know. I’m going to miss that little sliver of hope that the rest of the team would play as well as they’d need to in order to deserve you, and I’m going to miss having someone to believe in every fifth day (or really, every day), and I’m going to miss everything about the way you affected the team and the city and the fans. Hell, I’m not just ‘going to’, I already do.

I’m not saying the Jays have nothing to play for anymore – just that it’s going to feel that way for a while.

So I’ll see you around, I guess.

I don’t know when I’ll be ready to say goodbye.

It’s Cliff Lee’s world, and we’re just living in it.

Look, we know Pedro’s pitching in a half an hour and Game 2 of the World Series is coming up, but we can’t help it.

We’re watching this approximately for the approximately 11,849th time today.

Oh, Cliff Lee. I would hate you so much if you weren’t pitching for my team.