Rosh Hashanah Hotties – L’shanah Tovah “For a good year”

As we head into the High Holidays, let’s pause and take a look back at the handsome sons of Abraham who match the sweetness of apples with honey.

First, a look at a few of the hotties from the Israel Baseball League, which celebrated their inaugural season this summer and ended with a 27-12 Bet Shemesh Blue Sox winning the championship in August. It was incredibly tough going, (near strikes, the league ran out of baseballs, less-than ideal training and playing conditions), and the players should be commended for making it through the summer.

Josh Eichstein, Netanya Tigers

 

Wednesday Hit and Run – Calling all Canadians! Brady Quinn is #2! Yankee Grandslam! Links of the Day!

Do we have any Canadian readers?  If so, can they please start drinking all the Pepsi and Gatorade they can safely consume without getting bloated, and maybe get a bag or two of Doritos and enter the “Game On! With Sidney Crosby”  Canadian-only contest on behalf of the Ladies?  You know, just in case you win one of four Sidney Crosby Experiences which includes a trip and tickets to a game and a meet and greet with Sid himself? And say, if you wanted a cool American friend to come up and visit that week you go on the trip that’d be okay with me.  Maybe a Penguins-loving Los Angeles friend who could um, you know, hang out and hold the camera while you pose with Sidney? You know, maybe we should both get into the shot, that might look better. A Sid sandwich.  Oh Sidney, of course you can take of that sweaty jersey, we don’t mind! We want you to be comfortable!  Let us help you with that strap…

So um, yeah.  You Canadians need to get on the ball and win this for all of us.

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 1

Love maybe blind to flaws and shortcomings, but after the Week 1 of the Ladies Fantasy Quarterback League, more of than a few of the Ladies might be wondering if they should lie to their main squeezes and say that they have to go to their grandmother’s house next Sunday while quietly sending their back-up hotties a few text-messages to see if they might be around for a booty call. You know. Just in case.

Holly JimBobCooterGaveMe6	vs	Clare Speckhosen
Peyton Manning 23.52	Starting QB	Rex Grossman 4.80
Did Not Play – Not sweaty David Carr	Backup QB	Jon Kitna 25.26
Donovan McNabb 11.26	“Just a friend”	Matt Schaub 11.90
158.92	Overall team score	163.70

QB Winner – Holly and Peyton Manning
Overall Winner – Clare

In repeat of Super Bowl XLI, Colts’ hottie Peyton Manning had his way with the Bears’ Sexy Rexy who couldn’t find his way end zone against San Diego. Overall though, Team Speckhosen sports Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, Joseph Addai,Travis Henry, Antonio Gates, and Mike Vrabel. Which is to say, that girl Clare is stacked! Holly would have been better served if she played the homer card and started the Colts defense and their 20 points that were wasted on the bench, instead of the Dallas D which cost her a valuable point for being -1 at the end of the day.

How bad are the Raiders? Jon “Fuck Lion” Kitna was able to go for 289 yards, 3 TDs, give up 2 INTs, and still walk – Stray Cat Strut? – away with the win.

Friday Football Foodie – 9-Layer Ranchero Dip Kickoff Special

Your fantasy picks are set. You have put fresh batteries in the Tivo remote for your own instant replays. You have either ordered the NFL Sunday Ticket or have memorized the NFL local broadcast and blackout maps.

You are ready for football.

You have been training for this for weeks. Pizza Loaves with Watermelon-Vodka Slushees, Buffalo Chicken Dips with Blueberri Stoli Lemon Fizz, Mexican Pinwheels and Mary Pickfords, and homemade corn dogs with Rusty Nails. You even took a field trip out to check out some local Chicago sports bars over on Deadspin.

You are ready for football.

And on this, the holiest of weekends until the playoffs start, you are ready to tackle the greatest Football Foodie dish there is known to fans everywhere: The 9-Layer Rachero Dip. Also this week, Cocktail of the Week’s “Lucky Glass” and New Product Review: NBC’s Sunday Night Football has their own “Football Foodies”.

You will need -

Ladies Fantasy Quarterback Draft – Stand By Your Man

The quarterback. The team leader. The play maker. The American symbol of all that is intelligent, strong, and virile. And as such, the quarterback is the ultimate fantasy position for the Ladies.

We thought we’d mix up the usual fantasy football draft this year and select just the hottest quarterbacks in the league. QB’s we can cheer for all season, not based on what they do for our team stats, but what they do to stir our passions both on and off the field.

Oh sure, we will have the rest of the team to think about too, but we are only really concerned with our football boyfriends. Our boys will play head-to-head in a two-division league, 14 week season with a three week playoff. Each Lady will select her main squeeze and the man she keeps on the side.

Serpentine draft order: Texas Gal, TheStarterWife, Andrea, Clare, Metschick, Holly, GordonShumway, and SA.

Texas Gal – On the clock –

Friday Football Foodie – Homemade Corn Dogs, Rusty Nails, and Son of Wheat Thins

Please excuse the Friday Football Foodie for phoning it in this Labor Day weekend. Not feeling very Foody or Footbally after last night’s debacle listening to an anemic Steelers-Panthers preseason game in the middle of the California desert where the only sustenance was a horrific batch of A&W cheese curds. (Wisconsinites, please save your emails; I know they’re not real “cheese curds”, but it’s the best you can find on the 10 between Los Angeles and Phoenix.)

But what do you do when a game is this boring? When it’s turnover after turnover, your friends are restless, and you need to keep the crowd energetic and fed through the second half of what is probably one of the most boring games of the season?

You break out the deep fryer. Homemade. Corn. Dogs.

You will need…

“I Want to Look Like a High School Cheerleader Again” – CMT

CMT, (the hip name designed to make you forget it is the Country Music Channel), has announced that they are launching a special eight-episode series this October that follows 10 former high school cheerleaders as they workout with Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader trainer Jay Johnson in an effort to recapture their former-selves. Since men like Ray McDonald carry around laminated cards of their high school baseball stats, it is not surprising that there would be women walking around wishing they could go back to the the top of the pyramid or get one last “liberty” in.

Can I have a lazy Sunday with Kasper Schmeichel?

This is my new Premier League crush, Kasper Schmeichel, goalkeeper for Manchester City. I know over here at Ladies we’re pretty new to the PL coverage, but even I have heard of his famous father Peter Schmeichel who is considered one of the best keepers ever to play the game.

Friday Football Foodie – Vegetarians are coming! Mexican Pinwheels, Mary Pickford, “Corn Dogs”, and “Wings”

Week three of Friday Football Foodie training camp. You have made Pizza Loaves and Buffalo Chicken Dips and you think you are ready to move on to something a bit more challenging. We’re not quite there yet. The theme is still simple-assembly finger foods. Why?

Because everyone needs the framework for a play that can be used when adversity strikes: the vegetarians.

As a good host, you want to make your home welcoming to everyone, and that includes making snacks that all of your guests will enjoy. (Offering them the sides of celery to your wings does not count as a “dish”.)

If you are a vegetarian going to watch the game at a friend’s place, don’t assume that if the grill is going that there will be Gardenburgers. Show up prepared. (Vegans, I love you, but you’re on your own on football days. Come over any day of the week and I will feed you. But game days? You’re getting the box of Tofutti Cuties I always keep in the freezer and liking it.)

Mexican Pinwheels, Mary Pickfords, and “Might Be New to You” Product Reviews: Morningstar Farms Mini-Corn Dogs and Buffalo Wings.

You will need…

Hit and Run – Wednesdays are for Quarterbacks

In news that I think most people have ignored, (and yes I meant to cover this over the weekend but didn’t get a chance to), Tim Couch was released by the Jacksonville Jaguars before their second preseason game. He had been signed to a two-year deal by the Jags in July after his agent had shopped him to any team that would take a meeting, and went 2 for 4 with 2 sacks in the first preseason game. (Which sounds bad, but he has not played in an NFL game since he saw preseason action in 2005 with the Packers.)

It is easy to list Couch as yet another first-round draft pick busts, (he was taken ahead of Donovan McNabb if memory serves me right, but feel free to correct me), but he spent most of his career on his back with a Cleveland team that never provided him with any real protection.

At least he gets to find solace in the arms of his own Barker’s Beauty. (What is it with the Cleveland QBs and Playmates?)

Friday Football Foodie – Buffalo Chicken Dip, Stoli Blueberri Fizz, and Sweet Potato Chips

Well team, I must say, I was very impressed with the response to Week One of the Friday Football Foodie Training Camp. The general response was overwhelming, and a few fine readers took the time to send in photos of your very own Pizza Loaves.

With that type of enthusiasm, I really think we have a real shot of making the playoffs here.

But we cannot go into the season without trying out some new plays. The Pizza Loaf is a good go-to running play, but you’re also going to need a new quick 15-yard slant pass because last year? You dropped the ball every time you pulled out a bag of Funions instead of going for something a little more substantive.

We’re trying out something new this week, a menu that with a little fine tuning, could become our next 3 and 8 play.

Friday Football Foodie – Buffalo Chicken Dip, Stoli Blueberri Fizz, and New Snack Review of the Week: Pringles Select Sweet Potato Chips

You will need…

 

Friday Football Foodie – Pizza Loaf, Watermelon-Vodka Slushlees, and Garlic Bits

The pre-season. Supposedly “meaningless” games are spent trying to impress the coaches, shaking the rust off of the joints, and players doing their goddamn best not to get hurt.

Well do you think you, the football fan, are any different? Are you ready for at least one – if not two – days spent entirely on your sofa? After a summer’s harvest of nothing but the freshest fruits and vegetables are you ready to settle in and allow yourself the unhealthy snack foods that are best enjoyed with copious amounts of booze and yelling? Can you whip-up something besides the number for Domino’s, (GOD HELP ME DO NOT TELL ME YOU ORDER DOMINO’S), that will feed you and your crew?

I doubt it.

If you go into September without at least one or two practice runs, you’re going to find yourself sad and lonely with just your box of Bugles and six-pack of Natty Light come kick-off.

We’ll work our way up to the 9-layer dips, Four Cheese Quiche with Roasted Red Pepper (good for the PST crowd since games start at brunch time), and Pumpkin Spice cookies. But for now, we’ll start with something easy that is more about assembling than it is actual cooking, because the making of a championship year does not happen overnight.

(Let this guide not only be a review for what to eat at home, but snacks that a host would like to have when you show up at their front door because your cheap ass still has not ordered NFL Sunday Ticket. Or cable. Or replaced the 13-inch TV you’ve had since college.)

Week One of Football Foodie Training Camp: Pizza Loaf, Watermelon Slushes, and Snack Review of the Week: Snyder’s New Pretzel Bit Flavor: Garlic Bread.

You will need:

Hit and Run – I guess I have to talk about this Bonds thing

But first…

Ladies’ favorite Curtis Granderson hit a double in first inning (Ed. note – seen fielding) giving him 30 doubles, 15 triples, 15 homers, and 10 14 steals so far this season. Congrats Curtis! Keep it up boys! I want to see Sean the Tigers make another run this Fall.

♠

The Ladies got play over on EDSBS! Be sure to check out Drunk Ladies: Cocktails For Your Team 2007! And for the record? I loathe USC, but no one is going to care about my college football team, including the students.

I would follow you to the ends of the earth…

Really.

Opening scoring drive of the meaningless Hall of Fame game, and you had the boys in top form.

You smiled when they got over excited and got called for Unnecessary Roughness.

Good lord did it look like they were playing the third pre-season game and not the first.

And this one… Well. You cannot help by smile and say, “Welcome back sailor.”

Love, Sports, and Dating – A peek into the minds of the Ladies

On any given day, we send each other between 50 and 200 emails. (70% sports, 15% website chatter, 7% pillow fighting and baby oil discussion, 4% on how our lives are going, 4% on how much we hate other blogs that shall remain nameless.)

So in the spirit of the CHEEZE DOODLE BACON PANTS post, here is the thread that took place this week in response to Chris Mottram’s post on Mr. Irrelevant about dating women who like the NFL. The conversation runs from dating guys who didn’t like sports, bar fights, holding your tongue as not to show up your sweetie in front of his crew, and eventually to my new favorite word, “douchesnozzle”.

Leading up to this point, we had been talking about Metschick’s new boyfriend…

Thursday Hit and Run – Rain Delay – Notes from IM and Email

TheStarterWife’s new ‘Squee!’ – “Pirates 15-1. Brag while you can.”

TheStarterWife – “I saw. I will.”

Andrea – “Hey, the H&R won’t go up tomorrow til around 1 pm eastern. Is that okay?”

TheStarterWife – “No worries. I’d be slow and depressed if my team just got smacked around by the Buccos too.”

Clare- “BURRRRRNNNNNNNN!”

Andrea - “Woman…..you are cruisin’ for a bruisin’……”

We’ll try go get you more hotties later in the day. These “real jobs” are totally getting in the way of our stalking blogging.

Bringing the Heat – Pittsburgh Pirates

Yesterday I got in touch with an old college boyfriend. I’d seen his name around the Fanhouse last football season and he’s working at some fantasy sports site on the side in addition his normal broadcast duties, yadda yadda yadda.

He’s out there in sports land, (albeit on a professional level), and I get to be apart of this rockin’ little sports blog, so I thought I’d drop him a line just to say “hi”.

One of the first things he says to me?

You realize the Pirates haven’t had a winning season since we last spoke. Coincidence?

Unfortunately, there is no comeback to that line. I said something about the Steelers, Super Bowls, and the young Penguins, but really, that phrase could hang in the air for weeks and still sting just as much. It is with that in my head, that I had to start working on this post.

I know the “Bringing the Heat” pieces are supposed to be upbeat celebrations of the hotties, and I am going to try my damnedest to do provide just that, despite how depressing I find it to be a Pirates fan.

So now that the lobotomy is over, on to the hotties!

Steelers unnamed mascot remains unnamed

It was announced this weekend that the Steelers have had to delay naming their new mascot after receiving more than 70,000 submissions for what this big foam guy should be called.

How hard can picking a name be? Let’s take a look at the entries…

Bringing the Heat – New York Yankees

Everyone hates the Yankees.

Everyone.

None of the other Ladies would even admit that hotties existed on the Yankees. I say, F-that noise.

Give me the man in a motorcycle jacket. Give me the outsider. Give me the stud that all the pansies mock, because deep down inside, they know they do not measure up.

I don’t want your saccharine-sweet cuddly pretty boys.

Give me the villain.

This is how you see the Yankees. Evil. I’m giving you the villain you think you know on the outside, but click through the image, and you will be getting the hottie you know is there. Waiting for you.

Smoldering. Hot. Bad. Boys.

Hit and Run – Wednesday, July 24 – First day of the rest of our lives

You have to certainly say this about Mr. Forearms Craig Biggio, he certainly knows how to go out on top.

Just hours after a tearful press conference announcing that this will be his last season playing baseball, he hit a grand slam in the bottom 6th inning to give the Astros a 7-4 victory over the Dodgers.

I’d be lying to say the last of the original Killer B’s retiring doesn’t make me feel old.  If I was an Astro fan, I’d be crying in my pillow tonight, especially when you look at the rest of the NL Central and you see far down in the hole they have fallen.

TRAINING CAMP IS HERE! TRAINING CAMP IS HERE! – UPDATED

TWO A DAY PRACTICES WITH NO DAYS OFF UNTIL AUGUST 6TH!!!!!!

“Probably a little heavier than they are used to,” Tomlin said, almost gleefully. “It will give them something to whine about.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Of course this happens on a day I will be no where near the eBays, but I am so excited I’m ready to run through the streets with my arms flailing around wildly!)

TRAINING CAMP IS HERE!

 

AND WE RE-SIGNED TROY POLAMALU  TODAY!!!!

Weekend Bang-Bang and Mail Bag Hottie

Got links you want included as a Bang-Bang Play? Got an athlete you think would make an excellent Mail Bag Hottie? Email us!

“…who probably just ensured that Las Vegas will never ever ever ever ever get an NBA franchise. Ever.” I couldn’t agree more. [LOLJocks]

Calling everyone who played – or didn’t play – high school sports in Los Angeles. It is time for the L.A. High School Alumni Basketball Tournament benefiting Garfield High School. [LAist.com]

Someone is taking the Penguins signing Ty Conklin better than I am. Bad juju all over him. [Pittsburgh Sports and Mini-Ponies]

Best athlete character names in film . [Joe Sports Fan]

My favorite number-cruncher examines what goes into a “save”. [Kermit the Blog]

Special Guest Editor Andrea profiles Will Leitch (who?) for the “100 Most ‘Influential’ People in Sports”. [A Price Above Bip Roberts]

Picture of a giant bass? I’ll link to that. [Sports Gone South]

And finally, thanks to Larry Brown of Larry Brown Sports for putting together a great night of LA sports bloggers this week. Miss Gossip of Fanhouse Fame, Brooks and Jason from Sports from Brooks, Lion in Oil guys, NBA nuts The Association, HC from You’ve Been Blinded, the LAist’s Adam, BoiFromTroy, and a few more I am sure I am forgetting. (Thanks for all the drinks!)  Update – Larry has the page up [Larry Brown Sports]

And our Mail Bag Hottie of the Week…

Dear Danbury Mint – A Charming Display of Steelers Pride?

Dear Danbury Mint,

Maybe I wasn’t clear the last time you sent me a flyer for the latest in Steelers related jewelry. The platinum-plated Steelers heart tag braclet with genuine Swarovski crystals was not stylish, despite the your repeated use of the words “spirited”, “fashionable”, and “luxurious”.

This latest mailer is a giant step backwards in style.

The one thing that you at the Danbury Mint seem to be good at is appealing to my love of all things Black and Gold, so let’s take a closer look at how you know how to pull at my heartstrings, especially with 52 days left until the start of the NFL season.

CHEEZE DOODLE BACON PANTS – A peek into the minds of the Ladies

On any given day, we send each other between 50 and 200 emails. (70% sports, 15% website chatter, 7% pillow fighting and baby oil discussion, 4% on how our lives are going, 4% on how much we hate other blogs that shall remain nameless.)

Occasionally, we get down right silly. Yesterday was one of those days. Leading up to this point, we had been discussing Charlie Weis, oatmeal, and cottage cheese. Clare got us started… (WARNING – This might hurt some to read.)

Hit and Run July 11, 2007 – Ennui, poker, crew, and 58 more days to go

Historically, if you were to look at my life, July has never been good to me.  July is generally when I have moved, made career changes, and yet again failed to win the World Series of Poker.  (Disclosure – I have yet to pony up the $10K to play in the Main Event, but every year I wish I would have.) 

2007  does not seem to be any different than any other year.  Oh sure, the end of the month has potential, but I’m not going to bank on it just yet.  Maybe.  Kinda.  Trying not to.  We’ll see.

This is when sports is supposed to pick you up.   

What do I get for mid-summer night’s dream blues? What helps me through my sports ennui?

MLB All-Star Game Excitement B-I-N-G-O Style

Download Full Page American League Bingo Card PDF Here

Need a little bit more excitement and entertainment for your All-Star game party?

Well we here at Ladies believe that even the most casual of fan should be able to have some fun watching the Midsummer Classic, so we’ve whipped up some All-Star Bingo Cards! No need to try to keep track of pitching changes when you can look for Big Papi to point to the sky, Alyssa Milano in the stands, and players adjusting their junk instead. We’ve got your American League, National League, and Interleague Bingo all here!

Curtis Granderson Needs Your MySpace Request (Again)

Normally this is the type of thing we pass on, but Curtis Granderson is just so cute, so sweet, and just so well loved, (more on this after the jump), that we couldn’t help but say yes when his “people” reached out to us asking us to pass on the word that his official MySpace page had been deleted along with all of his MySpace contacts, so everyone needs to “re-friend” Curtis.   (Besides, he was a near miss for the Hot Blogger Bracket, so this is the least we can do for him.)

More hot photos, the “Official Curtis Granderson MySpace Page has Deleted Memo”, and a fan of a fan story after the jump..

Hottie Hit and Run – Wet and Wild Wednesday

Yes, it is very hot outside.  Would I like to go swimming? But Mr. Webber, I didn’t bring my bikini.  Bra and panties?  I guess you’re right, they are basically the same as a bikini aren’t they.

(Big thanks to the lovely and talented Leave the Man Alone for sending in this hot pic. Let this be a challenge to our readers; It is summer time and I demand to see more athletes in bathing suits, so send in what you got!)

“I Was There” – Pirates versus a .500 season

In the six months of Ladies, this is the hardest post I’ve had to write.   So hard that I’ve actually been working on it since this game… 

That’s right.  Ever since the Buccos gave up a 10th inning walk-off grand slam to Dodgers on April 21. 

You know, after they gave up the lead in the 9th.   

So promise to stick with me if turns into the worst post ever in all of sport blogging history.  I have a boat and we’re going up the river…

Hot Blogger Bracket – We’re Crowning His Ass

Congratulations Holy Dog Water, you are the

Ladies Hot Blogger King.

All it took was one comment out of 523 (at last count) when we had to shut the voting down to win our hearts.