How Not to Throw A Superbowl Party

(Ed. note – I passed out last night after a post-op Vicodin, leaving open my laptop with the framework of this post up. TheStarterboyfriend, not realizing when I am asleep he’s allowed to clock out from his nursing duties, jumped in with the funny commentary. Thanks TSB! You’re like a magical, 6’3, spinning-gold-from-straw elf!)

‘Tis the time of year for everyone around you to suddenly start caring about football. Where even the casual observer (“Hey! Wasn’t there a Manning in a Superbowl just a couple years ago? What a coincidence!”) becomes a veritable Bob Costas-like conflagration of football idioms and statistics. And somehow, some way you wind up partying with these people, listening to them espouse moronic sports anecdotes, figuring you can suck it up for a few hours because, hey, that 60″ LCD HD TV is totally worth it.

But this year, more so than in the Bowls of yesteryear, we here at Ladies… are telling you now– BEWARE!
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8 WEEKS?!?!? 8 WEEKS?!?!!!! Sid’s out 8 weeks!!!!!

I may be high off of Tylenol 3, morphine, and subsisting on apple juice for the past five days, but the news that Sidney’s high-ankle sprain from Friday’s game is going to force Crosby to miss the next six to eight weeks has managed to pierce through the haze of drugs and glucose and has caused me to just ache.

This is the first time our little superstar has been hurt, and my urge to twirl him in bubble wrap and Band-Aids is overwhelming.  Maybe retro-fit the boards with something softer, like cotton candy from the nice old man on the main concourse or penguin plushies from Penstation.   Perhaps stop by Casa Lemieux with some soup, cookies, Yahtzee, and the box set of Futurama to help keep his mind off the pain.

It’s already helping me.  Immensely.

The Race is On: Which Blog Will Review Will Leitch’s “God Save The Fan” First?

Did you know Will Leitch, Mr. Head Sportsblogger, King of Blogfrica, Mattoon’s Native Son, and general bon vivant has a book coming out next week?

It’s called God Save the Fan: How Preening Sportscasters, Athletes Who Speak in the Third Person, and the Occasional Convicted Quarterback Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports (And How We Can Get It Back). Quite a mouthful.

Did you know he also has a fancy book tour heading to a bookstore near you right after the Super Bowl?

Next week? Next month? But that seems so far away! This is blogging in a 24/7 ESPN sports culture and I demand reactions now! If I don’t have the snap judgments of what other bloggers think, how am I going to know what I am supposed to think? Where will all the other book readers express their opinions on “God Save the Fan” on January 22?

Who will have a review up first?

Let’s lay some odds on where the party is going to be.

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AFC and NFC Championships: Last Call for Weather

Since the last seconds ticked off the clock in the Cowboys-Giants game on Sunday, I’ve been downright giddy thinking about the conference championships for one reason and one reason only; they both are going to be played outside in the cold, and hopefully the snow.

The Weather Channel forecasts Foxboro to have an expected high of 24 degrees and a low of 7 degrees on Sunday, with strong west-northwest winds of 22 miles per hour.

Green Bay at kickoff? Somewhere between 1-4 degrees with a 30% chance of snow. (This is warmer then yesterday, when it was forecasted to be -4 degrees for the low.)

According to The Weather Channel’s shaky analysis (the stats for games played indoors vs outdoors for each team seem to be incomplete) the cold does favor one team more than the other three. And it is not Green Bay. Continue reading

Everything you wanted to know about the playoffs*

* But were afraid to ask. Our first in a series of your most embarrassing football-related questions.

Why is Bill Belichick considered a genius?

His legend was born seventeen years ago in Super Bowl XXV when the Giants upset the Bills, a victory due in large part to the gameplan that then-defensive coordinator Belichick used against Buffalo. (The other part being “wide right”.) This is a document so revered, a copy of his gameplan hangs in the Hall of Fame and the shiny, satin jacket he wore is in the Canton archives.

Hard to believe that underneath that torn-sweatshirt sporting psychopath, there once was a very handsome man. (Who was a psychopath.)

Have a question? Email us at ladiesdotdotdot at gmail.com

Friday Football Foodie – Limping into the playoffs

Saying that I am behind on the Friday Football Foodie is a bit of an understatement, but in a weird way my performance is not that different from how many teams ended the season.

Week 16 – Dec 20, 22, 23 - In a Thursday night game against the Rams, Steelers running back and league leading rusher Willie Parker goes out with a broken fibula. FFF is not posted due to food poisoning from a bad turkey sandwich. (It was going to be about the above Steelers sugar cookies* with buttercream frosting and these great pumpkin spice cookies** that are perfect for the holidays. Sent batches out to all of the Ladies and Tuffy.)

Week 17 – Dec 29, 30 – Every playoff bound team is resting their starters if they can. FFF is not posted due to lack of internet at a spa retreat. (Athletes get deep tissue massages and feel a great sense of relief; I get a deep tissue massage and am sore for two days.) There is something to resting your starters though. Who knows when injury can happen. The FFF’s camera which had been on the fritz for awhile was dropped onto a marble floor at the spa from which it will never recover, thus hurting the FFF’s playoff run.

Wild Card Playoffs – Jan 5, 6 – Pressure, pressure, pressure, come up with a game plan THAT DOES INVOLVE BRUCE ARIANS HOW CAN YOU SAY HE’S COMING BACK NEXT SEASON. FFF is not posted due to poor clock management, stress, and more stress.

Which means the Friday Football Foodie is much like the Colts right now; Haven’t had a game that tested them since Week 14 against the Ravens and are completely beat up.***
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