Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 11 – Hyperbole Edition

The beauty in watching pro-football is not in the speed of the receivers, not in the strength of the running backs, and not in size of the linemen. You might catch a glimpse of it in the leap of cornerback about to make an interception or when a tackle might move faster than a big guy should, but true beauty lies elsewhere on the field. Beauty appears in the moments that giants rise above the apparent chaos and see exactly what is happening across the turf. Continue reading

Friday Football Foodie – Smörgåsbord – UPDATED WITH GAME PLAY

Quick update I’m throwing at the top, since I was too hungover to really talk football this morning.  You have to play “The Last Hope“, a great little game done by the guys over at Doubt About It.   (Found via Christmas Ape’s DC Steeler Nation.)  Power ups are Lombardi trophies, Art Rooney, and hottie Tomlin. I will probably spend the rest of the day on this.    Now back to the main post. 

When I was in the high school choir, the greatest thing you could look forward too was the trip to Disneyworld for choral competition. (I believe they use the word “adjudication” instead of “competition”, but that’s besides the point.)

Anyway, one of the highlights of this trip was a visit to the Swedish Smörgåsbord restaurant, not because of the Medieval Times feel of the place but because there is nothing funnier to a bunch of 15 year-olds that saying “Swedish Smörgåsbord… Bork bork bork” at least 10,000 times on the flight down. (Which is reaches its point of hilarity when one of the Karas asks a very black man if he is he “Swedish chef” at one of the carving stations, not even thinking for a second that might possibly be one of the most offensive questions ever uttered in Orlando.)

So what is my point? It has been a really busy week here at TSW HQ what with birthdays, going out to various events every night with two more parties yet to go this weekend (I’m starting to seriously get the Vince Vaughn / Jon Cusack bloat going on this week with all the drinking and such) and I really didn’t get it together to do a decent FFF. As a matter of fact, I am putting this together at 9:30 in the morning hoping to get it done by 10 so I am not too late for work.

What does this mean for you fine reader? It means I am going to just throw up a smattering of pictures of things that have been going on here with a receipe or two mixed in and calling it a Smörgåsbord.

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Hit and Run, November 7, 2007: Things You Probably Did Not Know

Australian surfer Mick Fanning won the Hang Loose Catarina Pro event in Brazil yesterday beating out defending two-year title holder Kelly Slater and fellow Aussie Taj Burrows to clinch the 2007 World Championship. You cannot see him from here on the shore, but trust me when I say he’s everything a blonde, blue-eyes Australian surfer should look like.

OK, don’t trust me. Continue reading

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 9

Hi. My name is TheStarterWife and I write the Ladies Quarterback Fantasy Football update each week. This is probably one of the least popular columns we run – even among the Ladies – but still here I am plugging along. And since no one really reads this update, no one is going to notice what happens next… Continue reading

Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 8

True, he did not play this week as the Cowboys were on a bye week. And yes, he spent the weekend hanging out at fashionable Ketchup in LA (Who wouldn’t want a Kobe beef mini-hot dog with Kobe beef chili? I hate chili but cannot resist that dish.) and then get lap dances from Britney Spears at Le Deux while Ryan Seacrest takes notes in the corner.

But what makes him the hottie of the week? Try a $67 million six-year deal with about $30 million in guarantees.

Hey Tony… need a lap dance?

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Friday Football Foodie – Breakfast Strata and Blueberry Beer Reviews

We all know how debilitating a bye week can be. My Steelers were flat in the first half of last week’s game against the Broncos after the bye. (I prefer not to thinking about the fact that of all the teams that had bye in that Week 6 – Bills, Broncos, Lions, Colts, Steelers, and 49ers – Pittsburgh and San Francisco were the only ones who lost in Week 7.) In the World Series, we’re seeing what a nine-day layoff can do to a team on a winning streak.

What am I saying other than I have no idea what to use for an intro this week? I’m saying that I made this strata about three weeks ago and when I opened up the pictures, it took me a little bit to remember what I had done. The good thing about football and stratas is that if you remember the basics, ball in the end zone, blocking, bread and egg custard, the rest is up to you.

This week: Breakfast Strata and Reviews of Blueberry Beers – Kennebunkport Blueberry Wheat Ale, SeaDog Bluepaw Wheat Ale, and Marin Brewing Company Blueberry.

You will need…


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NFL Breast Cancer Awareness Auctions – UPDATE

Yesterday I posted about the NFL’s lack of follow-through in their Breast Cancer Awareness auctions. The big sites like Deadspin, SportsByBrooks, Dan Shanoff, Larry Brown Sports, and MJD’s The Debriefing over at the Fanhouse picked up on the story and helped spread the word that maybe the League should do more than just throw pink on coaches and fulfill their promise to do some fund raising.

Not that we have anything to do with it, but overnight NFL Auctions has placed a few more items up for bid. (Buried on page three, but they are there.)

Take the time to check out and hopefully bid on towels, hats, and mini-helmets from Mike Holgrem, Marcus Trufant, Deion Branch, Julian Peterson, Lofa Tatupu, Patrick Kearney, and Matt Hasselbeck.

Would have been nice to have this all up when the pink ribbon campaign was up, but late is better than never. We’ll keep updating you as more items – hopefully – go up.

1 in 8 Ladies Will Develop Breast Cancer in Her Lifetime – UPDATE

The NFL heavily promoted their Breast Cancer Awareness campaign, but what did it add up to other than coaches and officials wearing pink ribbons?

One of their highly touted initiatives was the use of the special pink towels by the players in games on October 7. From the press release, Pink Gatorade Towels: Players will use special-edition pink Gatorade towels on the sidelines during the games. Players will autograph these towels and other pink merchandise, which will be put up for bid on NFL Auction, with proceeds going to breast cancer organizations.”

And this was the picture on NFL Auctions all month -

But where were the items? All month I waited to see what went up. You know what was auctioned off? Two towels. Two. A Peyton Manning signed towel and a Vince Young signed towel.

Two. Towels.

Now, I don’t want to accuse the League of window dressing and lip service, but in researching exactly what each team was doing for Breast Cancer Awareness Month (The word “awareness” always infuriates me, who is not “aware” by now?) at least a dozen or so teams mentioned this auction. So what happened? Where are the rest of the items? Isn’t fundraising just as important – if not more so – than making sure all the refs are wearing pink wristbands? I took that screenshot on Monday and yesterday the pink ribbon was taken down. So was it really all a bunch of hype for very little?

UPDATE: Overnight NFL Auctions finally put more items up for bid.  Check out our post here for a full listing.  Thanks to SportsbyBrooks, Deadspin, Dan Shanoff, and MJD at the Fanhouse for helping spread the word yesterday. 

Each team also participated to varying levels with a few glaring omissions. (We know Brady and Belichick are all about the boobies, so the Pats not even doing anything with their cheerleaders or with the ZTA sorority this season is shocking.) Let’s look at the complete rundown.

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Stand By Your Man – Week 7

Is there anyone more crushing to Fantasy Football owners than Tom Brady? (That is, unless you drafted Tom Brady?) His 188.10 total points for the season smoke second place Tony Romo (150.46) in the league.

Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge what geniuses we are by not drafting Brady Quinn in our all-hottie league. Not only is he still riding the pine, but the Browns starter Derek Anderson is in third with his 120.84 points. And, QUITE FRANKLY, he’s hotter than Brady in my book. More rugged. More manly. Poised even. Continue reading

Friday Football Foodie – Cuban Sandwiches, Tonics, and Smokin’ BBQ Cheddar Chips

Up to this point, all of the FFF posts have been items that you make beforehand so your ass can sit in its rightful place on the sofa come kickoff.

Since my team had the BYE last week, I was able to relax a little (DAMMIT WARD GET HEALTHY ALREADY) and make a football snack that required me to spend a little more time in the kitchen. (As I have noted before, I have this small superstition that if you are more concerned about the action off the field at game time, the more likely it is that your team is going to lose. My mojo/karma/good wishes were certainly not required for the Dolphins-Browns and Pats-Cowboys games.)

This week: Cuban Sandwiches, Tonics, and new product review – Smokin’ BBQ Cheddar Chips

You will need -

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Boston fans out-douchebagged. Film at 11.

Resident Boston Red Sox fans Texas Gal and GordonShumway were lucky enough to be at the game at The Jake last night where they were booed, heckled, had bottles thrown at them, and were almost removed by security when they attempted to defend themselves. Texas Gal’s quote of, “Fuck this town. Fuck their team. Fuck these people. I went BY MYSELF to Yankee Stadium and got disrespected a hell of a lot less”, does not reflect well of your fans.

The girls will fill you in on all the details later (with some new tales from tonight I suspect) but in the meanwhile, City of Cleveland, i.e. THE MISTAKE ON THE LAKE, you have now brought the wrath of all eight of us into focus in one location. You fuck with one of us, and we will defend her. You fuck with two of us, gals get twitchy and start looking at departing flights out of LAX and Mapquest routes from Philly and New Jersey.

I know it has been 10 years since you’ve last won the AL Pennant, but show some respect and act like you’ve been there before.

Or as SA wisely said, “Just because your team is in the playoffs doesn’t mean you can act like an asshole.”

Week 6 – Shaking up the Stand By Your Man Posts. Again.

TSW - Hey Holly and SA – Did you see this headline yet?
*wonders what the sound of two exploding heads is like*

Holly – HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

In all seriousness: No surprise this year, really, with all the new receivers the Pats acquired and the resurgence of the Colts’ running game. They’re basically running our 2005 offense, the premise of which is: Of the eleven guys on the field, be able to throw to about eight of them. Should be a lot of fun to watch.

And yes, it’s nice for Tom to finally reach Peyton’s level. A lofty aspiration for a Wolverine–I’m happy for him! ;)

SA – OH. NO. YOU. DIDN’T.

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What To Do on a Bye Week

This weekend is the Steelers bye week, which means I should be free to do whatever I want today, I don’t have to watch football all day. And really, am I not a cosmopolitan lady who can find a way to fill a Sunday with something a bit more meaningful than the Dolphins-Browns game?

Just think of everything you could be doing with your bye week:

  1. Do your Christmas shopping! And not just because the bargains are terrific this time of year. Come December when the NFL playoff hunt is in full swing and the malls are at their craziest, you’ll be able loaf around on the sofa every weekend guilt-free while all those sad sacks are trying to catch scores on Best Buy displays. Continue reading

Friday Football Foodie – Dave’s Hot Beef Dip, Kahlua and Coffee, and Salt & Pepper Pita Chips

This week’s Friday Football Foodie dish was submitted by Dave’s Football Blog, home to anything foot and ball. Soccer of every color and stripe, rugby, Aussie rules, CFL, and of course, American gridiron. (Dave also runs a chill music podcast over at Dave’s Lounge, which I highly recommend.)

Dave first posted the recipe for the Hot Beef Dip back for Super Bowl XL – predicting a Steelers’ win, naturally – but this recipe is really too good to wait for a special event game, especially as we head into fall and heartier football snacking.

You will need…

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Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 5

Week 5. Really. It is already Week 5. One-third of the regular season is done and gone.

Tom Brady remains the only undefeated QB (surprisingly in head to head QB match-ups Peyton Manning is 2-3 in this league), and Clare’s Speckhosen finally come back to earth with a loss this weekend leaving her tied with SA and myself at 4-1.

This weekend also saw GordonShumway’s Jake Delhomme go out for the season, so she might want to consider sending her third stringer Jay Cutler a few casual, “How’ve you been” emails while Drew Brees proves to be the flakiest date of the season.

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Friday Football Foodie – Overnight French Toast Casserole and Framboise

Sometimes it takes two things to make one great performance. Sigfried and Roy. Captain and Tennille. Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner. (Although Leinart better shutty-his-uppy about splitting time with Warner, and remember that his team won with the two-QB system last week.)

The FFF is back to brunch this week for the 10am games in the PST, with a recipe that part Paula Deen’s Baked French Toast Casserole and part The Joy of Cooking’s Overnight Baked French Toast. (Recipe not online, page 809 in the 1997 edition.)

Part of the beauty of this dish is all the work – what little work there is – is done the evening before brunch, leaving you to sleep in until past 9am on game day for a change. (And I bet Paula Deen would cry less than Leinart over sharing the creation of this breakfast.)

You will need…

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Ladies University 1st Annual Screw Your Roommate Dance

October at Ladies U. Summer tans have all but faded away. The air is finally cold enough to pull favorite sweaters out of storage. Too late in the semester to drop Legends of the PGA without getting an “incomplete”.

And it time for the annual Screw Your Roommate Dance. As is tradition, each Lady selected her roommate’s date for dance. Pick someone too perfect and you miss the fun of watching the gal who keeps using your special lavender mint lotion ($36 a bottle! Buy your own bitch!) squirm. Choose someone too heinous and you’re apt to find your macroeconomics textbook being used as a bong in revenge.

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Christmas Ape Was There: Steelers-Cardinals

Ever since we first met the Christmas Ape last spring, he’s become a regular hanging around the TSW HQ TV, especially around game time. So when it came time to head to Arizona for the Steelers-Cardinals game, I couldn’t resist bringing the little guy with me.

Sure you can read what the real Christmas Ape said about Game 4, but what does a weekend of travel, Terrible Towels, and one stuffed Ape really look like?

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Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 4

Short and sweet as we go into Week 4 of the Ladies “Stand by Your Man” hottie QB fantasy league. I’m exhausted from seeing my main squeeze play in person – more on this later in the week – and let’s face it; October is when all hell breaks loose in sports. Some of the craziest baseball in ages, (Rockies, Cubs, Phillies, and Diamondbacks? Who the hell had that in the pool?), hockey has dropped its first puck, and now that we are 1/4 through the regular season, the NFL story lines are in place. Favre’s record setting season. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady continue to walk on water. Romo is for real. Grossman rides the pine. And Philip Rivers is secretly txting Marty every time Norv turns his back. Continue reading

Bringing the Heat – Arizona Diamondbacks

Last weekend of the regular season and the Arizona Diamondbacks are right in the thick of the National League race. So as you settle in for a sports gluttony weekend of one of the tightest NL finishes (OMG CLARE AND METSCHICK FREAKING OUT!) here is a quick guide to the D’Backs who might just cause you to shake your rattle.

And since this is last of the team-by-team MLB hottie profiles, I am getting out the glue gun, my best silver sparkle pen, and doing up the guys bulletin board style. (Best viewed in Firefox or IE, and yes, make sure your Flash is up to date.) Just sit back and let the hotties mesmerize you with their beauty…

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Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 3

Apologies to all the Ladies this morning for my delay in posting this this week’s Fantasy Football results. I went to do the post last night, but WordPress was down for repairs and I ended up falling asleep to “My House Flip” before eventually making it to bed.

What a sleep it was though. I never ever – EVER – dream about making out with hot celebrities in my sleep. Ever. (Ok, maybe once, but I think it has been quite some time since it last happened.)

Last night? I dreamt that George Clooney was running a abs-fitness boot camp and that I was taking the class, only to have George work me harder than the other students. After the training session, we ended up kissing for a bit, and he looks at me and says, “Don’t you remember me?” This teasing goes back and forth a little bit, and then he acts all hurt that I don’t remember hooking-up with him at the premiere party after-party for The Rundown. (Note – George Clooney was not in The Rundown, nor did I go to that premiere.) Anyway, he walks me back to my car and we make plans for later that day, leaving me to call my friend Jeremy and figuring out how to explain to TSB how I made out Clooney in summer of 2003 because that was about the time we stopped seeing other people and made our whole deal exclusive. (By this point in the dream, Clooney was looking more like Billy Zane, but I could have cared less. Both hot.)

So back to the Fantasy Football post. Continue reading

Bringing the Heat – Detroit Tigers: Bonus Granderson Interview and Player Yearbook Photos Included!

It is almost not fair. We have been doing this MLB “Bringing the Heat” series all summer long; team by team, hottie by hottie, forearm by forearm, smile by smile, glute by glute, and I would wager that none – none – of the other teams even come close to stacking up to how hot the Detroit Tigers’ roster is on and off the field.

Our readers have been emailing all summer waiting for this post. They knew that here at Ladies…, not only were we going to find the best looking guys on the team, but we were going make sure to serve it up with something a little special. Well, how about a couple helpings of something special?

In a Ladies… first, an interview with Detroit center fielder and fellow blogger, Curtis Granderson. Followed by a full on smorgasboard of the finest looking Tigers in the land. And for dessert? How about some of cutest yearbook photos of Sean “The Mayor” Casey you will ever see?

I thought you’d be interested.

Batting first, as always, Mr. Granderson.

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Wednesday Hit and Run – The one where we don’t quit our job

Happy return to baseball, Clare’s Baseball Boyfriend Cole. Hope you don’t mind staying up until way past everyone’s bedtime for the 14-inning 7-4 victory over the Red Birds after pitching 3 innings. 5 hours, 4 minutes, and 19 pitchers. Good lord is September baseball stressful. Just ask the Cubs, Brewers, Yankees, and Tigers. Obviously Pirate fans don’t remember what that feels like.

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Stand By Your Man – Fantasy QB Results: Week 2

Week 2 of the Stand By Your Man fantasy football league had two Ladies, (Andrea and Clare), already looking to their back-up boyfriends and featured hottie QBs that were going against each other in the Sunday Night Football game.

Metschick (De)Jesus’ Homies

vs

SA Woodson over Manning

Philip Rivers
11.76

Starting QB

Tom Brady
22.36

Alex Smith
4.94

Backup QB

Matt Hasselbeck
13.84

Eli Manning 13.44

“Just a friend”

Matt Leinart 14.56

113.06

Overall team score

221.56

Winning QB and Game winner – SA

Metschick - I hate you, Philip Rivers. Yeah, you played better this week, but you only got me 11 points, and the QB your team faced netted my opponent 22. Whatever, just get out of my sight.

SA - DREAMBOAT!!!! That’s all.

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Friday Football Foodie – Four Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Quiche, Bloody Marys, and Budweiser Chelada

One of the greatest thing about living on the West Coast is the football brunch. Wake up, walk out to couch, turn on TV, football is there.

True, this tends to work out better for my guests than me, (I’m generally up around 8 AM in a panic that I need to get brunch ready before the game, more on this later), and sometimes it is 9:53 PST and you are screaming at your network connection, “MOVE FASTER YOU FUCKING INTERNET! I HAVE ABOUT FOUR MORE MOVES TO MAKE IN THIS LEAGUE AND TWO MORE LEAGUES TO DOUBLE CHECK BEFORE KICK-OFF! FUCK YOU SLOW INTERNET! MOVE!”, but all and all, after a rough transition to living in Pacific Standard Time after a lifetime in the MST and EST, I can say there is no better way to watch football. (Plus, if you over-sleep and miss ESPN Gameday, you’re actually doing yourself a favor, whereas when you live back East, you’re so ready for the games to start, you’ll suffer through anything just to see men running around the field.)

Four Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Quiche, Bloody Marys, and Budweiser Chelada

You will need..

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