About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

Hump Day Hottie: Tony Romo

He may, on occasion, have butterfingers. He may, on occasion, throw five interceptions in a game. He may, on occasion, tag along behind American Idol contestants. He may, in fact, be the second coming of Sexy Rexy. But he is also downright beautiful. So in the wake of the shocking- SHOCKING, I tell you- victory by the Cowboys over the Bills on Monday night, and the upcoming Cowboys-Patriots clash, it seemed like the perfect time to give Tony Romo the Hump Day Hottie treatment.

Tony’s a San Diego boy by birth, but was raised in Wisconsin- so, naturally, Brett Favre was a huge influence on his playing style. This makes him exponentially hotter. He played college ball for the mighty Eastern Illinois University (Go Panthers!), where he won the Walter Payton Award… but he was undrafted coming out of school in 2003. He hung on, though, and signed as an undrafted rookie free agent by the ‘Boys. He has some Texas blood- his grandparents live in San Antonio- and he golfs up a storm, so he’s a perfect fit for Dallas. His boyish good looks and mischievously devasting smile (not to mention that gorgeous bod) are also a perfect fit for the uni of my beloved Cowboys.

Take a gander at the man who leads America’s Team, after the jump…

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Hit & Run: Celebration Times Three

Today ain’t any normal Monday, and this ain’t gonna be your normal Hit & Run- because we have some serious celebratin’ to do. Perhaps you haven’t heard- but the Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs and Philadelphia Phillies all clinched their division titles over the weekend… and as you might expect, GordonShumway, Clare and I are a tad bit excited about that.

OK, we’re freakin’ ecstatic. We’re bouncing off the walls, rally towel waving, champagne swigging, hugging random strangers, put an empty Bud Light case on our head and dance around in our underwear ECSTATIC. And we’re triple tag-teaming this H&R to share a little bit of our excitement with you.

And, of course, I’ve gathered together plenty of pictures of celebratory ballplayers covered in champagne after the jump…

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Bringing The Heat: Chicago Cubs

Lovable Losers. Curse of the Billy Goat. 99 years and counting. Cubs fans have had to endure it all.

But this year is a little different. Not only did the Cubbies field a talented team this season that produced on the diamond (exactly how well they produced won’t be known until Sunday)… they also managed to put together a roster full of cuties (and that’s even without uber-hottie Todd Walker).

You’re not going to find any pretty boys on this team, guys who overindulge on hair products (cough*PatBurrell*cough) or spend hours in front of the mirror (cough*ARod*cough). But you are going to find a handsome group of guys who are so hardworking and scrappy and cute you just want to take them home and bake them a nice batch of oatmeal cookies.

Everyone loves the Cubs- even Andie!- so just give in and sing along with me:

They got the power, they got the speed
To be the best in the National League
Well this is the year and Cubs are real
So come on down to Wrigley Field

Go, Cubs, go!
Go, Cubs, go!
Hey, Chicago, what do you say?
The Cubs are gonna win today!

Check out all the lovely Cubby goodness after the jump…

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Hump Day Hottie: The Eliminated

There’s a chill in the air, the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer- and that can mean only one thing: it’s almost time for the MLB playoffs. Unfortunately for most fans, the postseason just ain’t in the Cards (hee!) for you this year.

The thrill of victory is matched only in sheer emotion by the agony of defeat. And with less than a week to go in the regular baseball season, there are an awful lot of fans tasting the bitterness of defeat. The majority of AL and NL teams have already been officially eliminated from the possibility of the playoffs… and that’s never a fun place to be. Until now.

Just for those of you out there who have already seen your hopes for the postseason cruelly dashed, I’ve put together a whole smorgasbord of hotties from all the eliminated teams. It’s like a parade of consolation hottness.

This may not make up for how bad your team sucked this season, but hopefully it’ll make the thought of a baseball-less October a lot less painful.

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Bringing The Heat: Oakland Athletics

The Oakland Athletics have long held the crown of the hottest team in baseball- the team that’s as much fun to watch stretch during BP as actually play baseball during a game. This year, with the downturn in the team’s on-field fortunes and the unfortunate string of guys sent to the DL, the A’s have also turned into a pipeline of hotness that keeps all the other teams in baseball fully stocked on hotties. Thank goodness for the gold and green.

But even without dearly departed hotties Todd Walker, Barry Zito, Ryan Langerhans and Bobby Kielty, the Athletics are still smokin’ hot. Take a gander at what Oakland has to offer after the jump…

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Chase Utley Is An American Hero

Chase Utley can do it all. He’s an All-Star and one of the leading candidates for NL MVP. He has his hand broken by a worthless rookie pitcher (grrrr, John Lannan) and fights back to play again. He educates people on the dangers of global warming, including certain teammates cough*Rowand*cough who drive giganto trucks. He is dashing and debonair and ridiculously good-looking.

And he saves puppies.

That’s right, in his spare time off the diamond, Chase and his wife Jen campaign for the PSPCA and raise awareness about abused animals. Not content with that, Chutley has now taken on responsibility for a severely abused puppy found beaten and burned in August, and pays for all of its medical care. There is nothing this man can’t do.

HE SAVES PUPPIES, Y’ALL.

(a few more Chut + pup pictures after the jump)

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Hump Day Hottie: David Carr

What’s this? A Hump Day Hottie that’s NOT a baseball player? I know- even I’m shocked! I was feeling a bit guilty about overloading the Wednesday posts with baseball lookers. OK, I wasn’t feeling the slightest bit guilty at all- but I did want to celebrate the start of the NFL season tomorrow with a little somethin’-somethin’ for the football fans around here.

And what a somethin’-somethin’, indeed. Hello, David Carr.

You may have been unceremoniously dumped by the Texans, but the Carolina Panthers have clearly proven they appreciate hotness (Jake Delhomme, anyone?) so you’ll be better off with them — and what the hell do the Texans know about football anyway? (answer: not a damn thing) I think we’ll all be just as happy to see him in Panther blue (aqua? turquoise? teal?) this fall…

Lots more David Carr loveliness after the jump.

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