So I broke my iTrip in the parking lot this morning as I was leaving for work. Turning to the radio, I started surfing my presets and stopped when I hard the word “goth” on the AM dial. It was a show I’d heard horror stories about but never experienced for myself.
As best as I can recall, Things That Happened On Ten Minutes Of Colin Cowherd’s Radio Show This Morning:
- Colin bragged about his “goth” t-shirt he was wearing, and talked about all the “rock and roll” shops he frequented when in Hollywood. The shirt came from a Lucky Brand store.
- Mel Kiper Jr. wandered in and Colin asked him to guess how much he weighed. This went on for several minutes.
- During which Colin uttered the phrase, “I will bet you a week’s supply of pumpkin, which you eat”, in a perfectly matter-of-fact tone.
- Colin called Jamarcus Russell “Marcus” repeatedly, and mistook Gaines Adams for a Facts of Life character.
- And then, this. The usual suspects are up in arms, and rightly so.
Right before I dialed away in disgust, he graciously dispensed the following bon mot: “I’m an entertainer. I’m not a journalist. And I’m proud of that fact”. You’re half right, friend.
Holly’s Manning Disclaimer: I’m a Tennessee alum from a family of Colts fans. I love Peyton Manning. Love him. I have a Peyton Fathead on my bedroom wall. When he shows up in Knoxville for a charity event or a game, it’s like Elvis, Oprah, and Jesus Christ are in town. That’s just how I was raised, and there’s no deterring me. You’ve been warned. There’s still time to turn back before the jump. 
Who remembers their AP Psych? You know how if you show a toy or something to a really young kid and cover it up, they’ll think it’s actually gone? They lack the grasp of something called “object permanence”, and it’s why games like peek-a-boo have such an effect up to a certain age. Anyway, as far as I’m concerned, my leaving for vacation on the eve of the SEC tourney means that none of what followed was real. Tennessee did not make another ignominious first-round exit; Florida did not cruise to another title, and Noah was not an unmitigated asshat about it. World without end, amen.
What’s that? The WCC Tournament ended on Monday? Pardon me…I must have dozed off. The top two teams, both with double byes, played for the championship and the higher-seeded team won? Criminy, I really need to invest in a Tivo setup.
The Southeastern Conference Tourney kicks off tomorrow night at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. If it weren’t my home conference, I might not even watch this year. The teams are big, slow, and mean, with the exceptions of Tennessee and Florida, the only two schools to crack the Top 25. Not what you’d call electrifying court presences.
The 2007 NFL Scouting Combine has come and gone. Now put down the draft board, take a break from the minutiae, and see who’s a first-round pick in our hearts:
