About Clare

I'm an editor, not a fighter.

Hump Day Hottie Hit and Run: Pro Bowl Edition

There are a number of different ways I could go with today’s Hit and Run. I could talk about Danny Haren’s “Hi, I’m a D-back now” press conference,

or The Great One’s Phoenix Coyotes clowning my Flyers, or Shaun White being cited for setting off a fire extinguisher in a hotel while he was drunk (and really, who among us hasn’t done that?) or The Rocket vehmently denying the claims in the Mitchell report that he used The Steroids, but since the 2008 Pro Bowl rosters were announced yesterday, let’s take an in-depth look at the hotties who’ll be getting a free trip to Hawaii this February.

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The five stages of Bacon Pants grief

The Ladies… count two Phillies homers among their ranks, so Texas Gal and I were hoping that our meaty, darling, grinder Aaron “Bacon Pants” Rowand would resign with the Phillies. His face-smashing entusiasm and team-first attitude were part of what made the Phillies so much fun to watch this season. Also, he wears his uniform pants really tight. We liked that.

2007 was a banner year for Bacon Pants, and with the cheapskates in the Phillies front office shying away from long-term contracts, Bacon Pants signed today with the San Francisco Giants. He’ll patrol the outfield for the next five years, taking home a cool $12 million per year.

The fans of the San Francisco Giants have to be happy — there’s somebody fun to watch out in the outfield again.

I, however, am taking this news a little harder. I am — if you will — a sad panda.

sad panda

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Friday Football Foodie: Cucumber-feta dip, PUDDING SHOTS! and the Dunkin’ Donuts Extreme Bacon Extravaganza

This week, TSW has a bye and I’m calling the plays on the Friday Football Foodie.

It might be heresy to some to include vegetable matter in their football food plans that a) doesn’t come on top of a pizza or b) doesn’t accompany a bratwurst, but I cannot have a party without putting out veggies and dip. Besides, you’re getting a jump on the “eat veggies and fruit for the rest of the week” edict that usually comes with the FFF.

Not to worry, though: There’s no cooking — just chopping and stirring — and the Drink of the Week doubles as dessert!

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The Pacific Northwest Hotties of the Seattle Mariners

I’m sorry to be That Girl, but it’s true: There is a dearth of hotties on the Seattle Mariners’ roster, which is too bad because Seattle is such a beautiful city. Observe:

That mountain is like, 70 miles away, too. (Photo by Daniel Arndt. Thanks, dude!)

You’d think the scenery at Safeco Field would be better (I mean, they have art from Seattle-area artists all over the place — so cool!) but aside from Ichiro, who’s cute in his wacky cryptic way, rounding up a bunch of Mariner studs from Seattle was, well, difficult.

More…intensity!

EDITED!  To include Grampy Jamie Moyer goodness!

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Hit and Run: LOUD NOISES!


JIM THOME IS NAUGHT BUT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

THOOOOOOOOME! Pictured here smooching his wife Andrea (note: not our Andrea), Ol’ Hambone Thome hit No. 500 yesterday, and did it in grand fashion: a two-run walkoff jack, and on Jim Thome bobblehead day. The fellow who caught the milestone ball gave it right back to Jim, and Thome announced after the game that he and his father would deliver it to Cooperstown together.

Excuse me, but it’s gotten dusty in my office all of a sudden. [Sniffle.]

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Hit and Run: A change was made uptown/And the big man joined the band

Today’s Hit and Run is all about the big dudes, so stock your fridge and don’t be surprised when you find canoe-sized shoes at the foot of your bed.


Ry Ho and Shane share a tender moment.

Let’s start with Ryan Howard’s walk-off two-run opposite field blast to lift the Fightins over the Mets 4-2. (Yes, I know Metsy started with a Phillies item yesterday, but it’s my Hit and Run, I’ll do what I want!) I was there for last night’s game and to say the mood in the CBP was euphoric would be an understatement of the highest degree. I high-fived people I’d never met and I heckled a group of kid Mets fans. It was fabulous.

Before the game, I hung over the bullpen railing and watched Tom Glavine warm up. (I refuse to hear you say I’m a turncoat. How many times in your life do you get to watch a 300-game winner warm up from 15 yards away?) Dude is INTENSE. From where I was sitting, it looked like he p4wned the Phillies over seven strong innings, but according to the NYT’s article about the game, he was gassed: “Glavine scattered eight singles in seven scoreless innings but had thrown 102 stressful pitches, he said, and could not go out to start the eighth.”

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