Signs Your Baseball Team May Not Make the Playoffs

1. It’s two weeks before Labor Day and your team has already been mathematically eliminated.  Obvious, but no less true. Sorry, Wandy.

2. You play in the AL East and your mascot could be studied by zoologists, but not ethologists.  I had to clarify that to save us all from the inevitable comments about the behavioral tendencies of Red Sox or Yankees fans.

3. Your owner is paying his lawyers a higher monthly salary than any of his players. (Second item) Not that this prevented the Dodgers from sweeping my Cardinals this week but … that’s another (long and cranky) blog post.

4. Strange injuries are befalling your team.  Your shortstop trips over a rope (why is a rope on a baseball field?) and sprains his thumb.  Your outfielder gets a MOTH. IN HIS EAR.  Seriously, baseball gods. Cardinals fans are well aware of what the standings are, we do not need all these signs and portents.

5. You win a game and people blame you for an earthquake.

Sigh. Is it football season yet?

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