What NOT to buy the Ladies… this holiday season

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This actually makes me cringe.

I was recently sharing with the Ladies… one of the few beefs I had about my visit to Yankee Stadium in September: the womens’ wear shop. Now mind you I was on a mission for something very specific (a womens’ cut Swisher or Hughes tee) and the chances of snagging it were slim. Needless to say, I didn’t find it. I did find an awful lot of pink tees, caps, bats and foam fingers. And Jeter and A-Rod shirts. And rhinestones.

Fortunately MLB.com has plenty to offer according to one’s taste, but some of the selections still leave us scratching our heads. Join me as I play second-rate fashion critic after the jump.


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Cutesports brought this lovely Brewers bag to our attention. Very LL Bean, but very impractical to lug a ball game. Trust us: unless it’s water-resistant and full of snacks to keep the kids occupied, the big bag needs to stay home. The big bag also needs to stay home when you’re at a rock show (Sorry. That was directed at the sadly inebriated student that kept bumping her big purse into my friend Karen at a Joel Plaskett show late this summer. It was annoying! Let’s get back on topic…)

It’s also $99! Save the money for a jersey.

Speaking of jerseys, I’m glad to see that MLB.com makes them available in a womens’ fit. But…pink? I have nothing against pink – really, none of us do (see: our banner). But until the Yankees actually adopt pink as a team colour, I’m not wearing a pink jersey. I can live with a tee, but not a jersey. I mean, have you ever seen a pink cardinal?

Cards in pinkMy point exactly!

Now here’s a use of pink that doesn’t completely turn my stomach, though I will understand if Cutesports does not want Santa to leave this in her stocking:

Brewers capOne beef I have with MLB.com is the inconsistency of item availability for women. Put it this way: if you’re a fan of teams like the Yanks, Sox, Dodgers, Cards, the selection of clothing and accessories is outstanding and varied. But if you’re a fan of say…the Royals, not so much. What gives? Every woman deserves cool fan gear in the team of their choosing. This situation could use a bit of improvement, so we hope you’re listening, MLB.com. I found seven womens’ ball caps in the MLB.com Royals store: only three were blue, and one of them looked like this:

Royals cap

This is courtesy of Alyssa Milano and her Touch line. Again with the rhinestones!! I’m sorry! The sight of rhinestones on ball caps brings back cheesy memories of Mary Hart in her studded L.A. Kings cap watching Gretzky when he was with the team. Mercifully, Alyssa’s cap is less gaudy.

And of course this crap isn’t limited to ball caps. Here’s a selection that brings together two of my least favourite things: Swarovski Crystals and the Red Sox:

Red Sox top

If you expect me to handwash that to keep the crystals from falling off the hoodie, get real! (Too bad, because it’s a nice hoodie in spite of the team logo..)

Back to Alyssa for a moment. I feel a tad hypocritical for feeling the least bit annoyed when I see her modeling a Yankees hoodie. After all, she’s like us: a gal who blogs about baseball and daydreams about dating a few of these fine men. Except…she actually did date a few of these guys, and then there’s that whole “Who’s The Boss” thing, and then there she is infiltrating other professional sports with her fashion line. I’ll work on that internal struggle, but I think we can all agree that Alyssa hits a home run now and again. This Phillies jacket, while a bit petite, is awfully cute:

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But this…?

PhotobucketWho wears velour pants to a ball game, Alyssa? With those shoes? Maybe I’m just getting old, but this look tends to be relegated to my bedroom. Or the yoga studio.

Here’s a tank that’s neither pink nor studded. But holy high contrast pattern, Batman! Are we cheering for the Mets, or going sailing?

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For all my complaining, I still like to shop on MLB.com because quite frankly, I can’t get this kind of selection at my local Sportchek in Canada. I don’t have an issue with the exchange rate – it’s fairly decent for us right now. I don’t care for the international shipping charge that gets slapped on my annual purchase but I deal with the trade-off. It’s the only cross-border shopping I do in a year.

Now, if I was a Jays fan, I could shop online in the special Jays shop with Canadian pricing and no evil international surcharge. MLB.com’s store links to this in the U.S. Jays team shop. It’s worth a visit, since the womens’ wear selection is sad on the U.S. side (yes, it’s unfair). Only in Canada can you score this:

Retro JaysCrane would like one with Halliday’s number on the back, thanks.

Now this is cute! Stylish, comfortable, easy to care for, and makes excellent use of team colours and Baltimore’s mascot. I’m not an Orioles fan and yet I would totally wear this. But $44.99?! It’s 50/50, for heaven’s sake!
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It should not cost that much to look awesome.

I’ll conclude by saying that I appreciate MLB.com for making the effort, because we didn’t have so many attractive options for fan gear even five years ago. The NHL could take a cue from this (we’ll save that rant for another day) I just wish manufacturers would realize that women are not crows – you don’t need to put shiny things on T-shirts to get us to buy them. Just make them stylish, tasteful, practical and easy to care for. And please resist the urge to dip them in pink. Please.

What do you love about fan gear, and what do you loathe? Are we being too hard on those who dig a little bling on their hoodie? On what occasion should I wear those velour pants? Have at ‘er below.

10 thoughts on “What NOT to buy the Ladies… this holiday season

  1. You missed the most important part about that stupid tote bag! It’s frickin’ SILK lined! How do you keep that clean? How do you wash it?!

  2. Bee, completely agree. No pink, no rhinestones, no silk linings or velour pants, and seriously – NO giant bags at games or concerts. It’s never acceptable.

  3. I agree with all of this. I like pink, but if I’m gonna spend that much money on a jersey it’s gonna be in my team colors. Also it really bugs me how all of the women’s stuff is cut to fit teeny tiny women. We are not all the same size. I know it’s popular but I personally don’t like my clothes to be so tight and form-fitting. It’d be nice if they would offer some of the women’s stuff in slightly larger sizes as well.

  4. It’s only four days since the season ended, and I already miss baseball.

    I can’t really say anything about the shiny, because one of my Yankees hats is a metallic blue with silver stitching. Just a little bit feminine but not overly-girly, which is a good combo for me.

    And word on lack of Yankee teammate shirts other than Jeter or A-Rod. I find I have to buy boy’s sizes to find a proper fit in certain shirts. My Joba tee is a boy’s large, and it’s really only appropriate as a nightshirt.

    Those velour pants–again, only appropriate for the bedroom. Good luck getting gum or popcorn or beer out of those!

      • Actually no! Some are national team jerseys (I’ll get USA this year…). Some are college jerseys. I even have a club team from the czech republic. But they’re all players that at one point were on the Devils!

  5. I have to agree with everyone. Unless my team suddenly changes it’s colors to include pink, I’m not wearing a jersey that is that color. I don’t care if they make the jerseys to benefit breast cancer…there is surely other ways for me to give my money to a cause like that. (Which I do because my grandmother had breast cancer, fwiw)

    I also don’t feel like I need my hockey jerseys cut any smaller. I usually wear normal clothes under my sweaters, and I have the smallest men’s size available. I like having some room under there!

  6. Totally agree with the size issue. All I wanted was a Jays shirt in the team colours with Halladay’s number on the back. (Crane isn’t the only one who wants one.) I went into the Jays shop and found a couple of nice shirts – until I tried them on. They were either too tight and accentuated a place I want to draw attention away from, or they were tents. I know I’m not the only fan with this body type. It was incredibly frustrating.

    And all the pink! Give me a break. I really hate the assumption that if I’m a woman, I must want pink.

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