NBA Haiku Preview Part II: Southeast and Northwest Divisions

Everyone needs bonus Boris Diaw.

Everyone needs bonus Boris Diaw.

The NBA season starts in just under two weeks, so it’s time for the second installment of our Haiku Previews. (If you missed it, part one is here.)

Living in New York, I’m tolerably familiar with the Eastern Conference in general and the Atlantic Division in particular, so horrible Bucks haiku blunder aside, last week was the “easy” week in terms of research.  This week’s haikus owe much to TrueHoop, Henry Abbott’s excellent NBA blog (which I was reading before ESPN hired him, so I feel all cool), as well as the various NBA team blogs hosted at SBNation. I will say the pictures came a bit easier this week — there are some lovely, lovely men in the Eastern Conference’s Southeast and the Western Conference’s Northwest divisions.

Again, the teams are listed in order of last year’s final regular division standings.

Southeast Division (Eastern Conference)

Orlando Magic

Last year: 59-23, lost in the finals

You dont tug on Supermans cape.

You don't tug on Superman's cape.

J. Williams? Carter?

“old” newcomers should learn fast

it’s Superman’s team.

Atlanta Hawks

Last year: 47-35, lost in 2nd round of playoffs

The pose says hes serious.  The ears say hes adorable.

The pose says he's serious. The ears say he's adorable.

Hawks third on depth chart

of Atlanta sports? Horford

says Braves, Falcons who?

Miami Heat

Last year: 43-39, lost in 1st round of playoffs

Dwayne is not in my NBA fave 5.  But maybe my fave 10.

Dwayne is not in my NBA fave 5. But maybe my fave 10.

Beasley’s out of re-

hab, Riley’s not coaching — yet.

What’s the next drama?

Charlotte Bobcats

Last year: 35-47, missed playoffs

Oh you lucky, lucky Charlotte fans.

Oh you lucky, lucky Charlotte fans.

Coach Brown wants new rules,

“more flow” — too bad Bobcats must

play with status quo.

Washington Wizards

Last year: 19-63, missed playoffs

Jarvaris Crittenton; once a Grizzly, now a Wizard.  Upgrade?

Jarvaris Crittenton; once a Grizzly, now a Wizard. Upgrade?

Gilbert not talking

“Ever”? Only thing making

Wizards fun now gone.

Northwest Division (Western Conference)

Denver Nuggets

Last year: 54-28, lost in the semifinals

Arron Afflalo.  So hot he doesnt need to spell it correctly.

New Nugget Arron Afflalo. So hot he doesn't need to spell it correctly.

Melo’s boys improve

on best ever year? Taller

order than Rockies.

Portland Trailblazers

Last year: 54-28, lost in first round of playoffs

Jerryd Bayless.  Not a tennis player, despite the look of this picture.

Jerryd Bayless. Not a tennis player, despite the look of this picture.

Is it time to call

Oden a bust? Trailblazers

good team anyway.

Utah Jazz

Last year: 48-34, lost in first round of playoffs

Never really got the Kyle Korver thing -- until he cut his hair.

Never really got the Kyle Korver thing -- until he cut his hair.

Blogs, Deseret News,

research found no story for

Jazz haiku.  Bo-ring.

Minnesota Timberwolves

Last year: 24-58, missed playoffs

Hi, Jared Reiner!

Hi, Jared Reiner!

Jefferson’s healthy

but Rubio’s still in Spain.

Good luck, Jonny Flynn!

Oklahoma City Thunder

Last year: 23-59, missed playoffs

Aw, Kevin.  Do you need to read Lizs post about Tweeting again?

Aw, Kevin. Do you need to read Liz's post about Tweeting again?

Durant’s plus/minus

awful, starts Twitter war. Thun-

der still minus wins.

Next week: The Pacific and Southwest divisions. Last week’s comment haikus were awesome — keep it up!

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