NBA Haiku Preview Part 1: Atlantic and Central Divisions

Here at Ladies … we’ve been a bit consumed with the end of baseball season  and the start of football and hockey season, but the NBA season also starts in just under three weeks.  We may not be the biggest pro basketball fans around these parts, but we certainly have an appreciation for the finer points of the game — especially since it’s the only one of the major sports in which so much of the players, uh, “finer points” (arms) are visible during the game.

Because we’ve got a lot of ground to cover in the next three weeks, I decided to write each team’s preview in haiku because 1) they are short and 2) I wanted to do this for baseball season but forgot.  Oh, also there are pictures of my favorite hotties on each team, if you are not into poetry.

First up, the Atlantic and Central Divisions in the Eastern Conference, in order of last year’s final regular season standings.

Atlantic Division

Boston Celtics

Last year: 62-20, lost in 2nd round of playoffs

Yeah, I know some of you dont like Paul Pierce but I love him.  Especially in a suit.

Yeah, I know some of you don't like Paul Pierce but I love him. Especially in a suit.

2009 hopes

may depend on one question:

how are KG’s knees?

Philadelphia 76ers

Last year: 41-41, lost in 1st round of playoffs

Rodney Carney

Rodney Carney

“New” uni’s and Brand

push Philly over Boston?

No threads are that cool.

New Jersey Nets

Last year: 34-48, missed playoffs

New Net Courtney Lee

New Net Courtney Lee, in his Magic days.

This team’s just waiting

for a move that may not come.

Godot, meet Brooklyn.

Toronto Raptors

Last year: 33-49, missed playoffs

Patrick OBryant

Patrick O'Bryant

‘member that year when

dinosaurs were the hot thing?

Raptors don’t either.

New York Knicks

Last year: 32-50, missed playoffs

Ummmmm, I forgot what my caption was.

Ummmmm, I forgot what my caption was.

Here we go again:

Knicks will try (sort of) and fail.

At least Dani’s cute.

Central Division

Cleveland Cavaliers

Last year: 66-16, lost in the semis

Cavs’ new center: first

King James title or new show,

Shaq vs. Cleveland

Chicago Bulls

Last year: 41-41, lost in first round of playoffs

Rose isnt my type, but I know some of yall love him.

Rose isn't my type, but I know some of y'all love him.

Those Baby Bulls are

one year older, but wiser?

Only Noah knows.

Detroit Pistons

Last year: 39-43, lost in first round of playoffs

New Piston Ben Gordon.

New Piston Ben Gordon.

State, Lions, Tigers:

Pistons must save their city,

or so press will claim.

Indiana Pacers

Last year: 36-46, missed playoffs

Danny Granger

Danny Granger. I don't care if the haiku's about him, I'm not posting a pic of Tyler.

Hansbrough can find dogs,

can he (and team) find playoffs?

Can’t use phones in-game.

Milwaukee Bucks

Last year: 34-48, missed playoffs

Luke Ridnour.  He was cuter with the floppy curls, but still.

Luke Ridnour. He was cuter with the floppy curls, but still.

’09 Bucks most known

for player who stayed in Spain

Winter will be long.

Um, how about:

Bucks so nondescript

I confused them with T-Wolves

Need better PR

Next week: The Southeast  and Northwest divisions.  Contribute your own haikus in the comments!

6 thoughts on “NBA Haiku Preview Part 1: Atlantic and Central Divisions

  1. Lee is a Net now?
    I know I’ve been preoccu-
    pied, but damn I’m behind!

    And LOL on the Hansbourogh commercial reference!

  2. Cool. On another point, I know the Raps aren’t going to win prettiest team in the league any time soon but Patrick O’Bryant? Really? I guess I can’t really think of anyone better. I concede, We ugly.

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