The Playoff Beard Awards

Marc-Andre Fleury may have beat Cam Ward on the ice, but his beard doesnt hold a candle to Cams.

Marc-Andre Fleury may have beat Cam Ward on the ice, but his beard doesn't hold a candle to Cam's.

Now that we are getting closer to the Stanley Cup Finals, I figured it was time we took a look at the one tradition that all teams seem to have: playoff beards.  The playoff beard has grown from a traditional hockey practice to now a charitable cause, but that won’t stop us from critiquing how they look on the guys.  As you’ll see, some of the boys (emphasis definitely on boys) should probably try to avoid the tradition, while others take it to a whole new level.

After the jump, help me hand out a different kind of postseason hardware.

Best Regular Season Beard Turned Playoff Beard

Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings

 

Henrik (Center) definitely transitioned his regular season scruff to a full out beard for the playoffs.

Henrik (Center) definitely transitioned his regular season scruff to a full out beard for the playoffs.

While Henrik always has a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, he has truly transitioned that scruff to one heck of a beard.  The further the Wings go in the playoffs, the more I fear Zetterberg will start to look like Hagrid!

 

The Best Attempt at a Playoff Beard for Someone Who is Incapable of Growing Facial Hair

Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks

 

So Kaner doesnt look like he has any type of beard in this photo, but I swear there is!

So Kaner doesn't look like he has any type of beard in this photo, but I swear there is!

 

I had to zoom in, but you can see some faint stubble!

I had to zoom in, but you can see some faint stubble!

Patrick looks like he is 12, so the thought of him shaving makes me giggle.  The thought of him trying to grow a beard? Well that makes me LOL!  The stubble in this picture is from the final game against the Vanucks.  That was the end of the second round.  Roughly a month after the end of the regular season.  Nice try, Patrick.  We still love you.

 

Best Fire Beard

Tim Gleason, Carolina Hurricanes

 

Not one to forget about the red heads, I noticed Gleasons red beard throughout his series with the Penguins.

Not one to forget about the red heads, I noticed Gleason's red beard throughout his series with the Penguins.

I never really noticed Tim Gleason before this playoff series.  So obviously I never knew he was a redhead!  I had to give him an award for his nice red beard.  It matches his uniform, too.  

 

Best Brother Beards

Eric Staal, Carolina Hurricanes

Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins

The Staal brothers dont look like they can grow beards, but Im thinking theyre pulling it off pretty well.

The Staal brothers don't look like they can grow beards, but I'm thinking they're pulling it off pretty well.

All 3 of the Staal brothers that are currently in the NHL were in the playoffs, but Marc didn’t make it out of the first round, so it’s not fair to add his beard in here. I’m more of a fan of Jordan’s beard, but I would never truly admit that I actually found a Pittsburgh Penguin hot…OK FINE! Jordan Staal is hot! I said it. Moving on…

 

Best (A.K.A. Hottest) Goalie Beard

Cam Ward, Carolina Hurricanes

 

I love me some Cam Ward...even with the facial hair!

I love me some Cam Ward...even with the facial hair!

While I’m not a fan of facial hair, I would not object to my man having a beard if my man was, in fact, Cam Ward.  For some reason, I really like Cam with a beard.  Of course we know he’s hot without the beard, but that’s beside the point.  My vote goes to Cam for hottest, uh, I mean, the best goalie beard.

 

The Best Gray Beard

Scott Neidermayer, Anaheim Ducks

 

Scott Neidermayer definitely had the grayest beard in the playoffs this year.

Scott Neidermayer definitely had the grayest beard in the playoffs this year.

Neidermayer may only be 36, but his beard is definitely making him look much older.  I had to reach back into the second round to grab up Scotty for this award.  He’s definitely had the grayest beard I’ve seen so far in the playoffs.  Scotty I only have three words for you: Just. For. Men.

 

Best Playoff Mustache (non-beard)

George Parros, Anaheim Ducks

 

This was the only decent picture of George from the playoffs. You can see his stache pretty well.

This was the only decent picture of George from the playoffs. You can see his 'stache pretty well.

George has been rocking the ‘stache all season, but it was in full effect for the playoffs.  I guess since he already had facial hair, he opted out of growing a full beard.  He did sport some scruff, but the mustache is enough for me to give him this award.

 

Best Creepy Beard

Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins

 

Sidneys beard has been creeping me out the entire postseason.

Sidney's beard has been creeping me out the entire postseason.

So as you all know by now, I’m not the biggest fan of Pittsburgh.  I’m also not a huge Sidney Crosby fan.  I know some of our ladies around these parts just love this guy, so I had to add him here somewhere.  His beard has just been creeping me out for awhile now, and I had to mention it.  He just looks pervy with this beard.  Sid, I’m not your biggest fan, but why do that to your face?  You look like you would try to slip something in my drink at a bar, and I know you’re not like that.  Work on the beard, Sid.

 

Best Geico Caveman Beard

Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals

 

I had to use a photo where Ovi had his eyes close because his baby blues make him less caveman-esque.

I had to use a photo where Ovi had his eyes close because his baby blues make him less caveman-esque.

And just for comparison’s sake…

 

Geico loves the Caps, but when they put the caveman in a Caps jersey, its hard to tell just who it is!

Geico loves the Caps, but when they put the caveman in a Caps jersey, it's hard to tell just who it is!

You didn’t think I’d do an entire hockey post without mentioning the Caps, did you? Of course this might be a dig at my beloved boys, but seriously, I can’t deny that Ovi looks like a caveman! My dad has been calling him Neanderthal man since we drafted him. Although, his neanderthalness has reached new heights in recent years. Ovi, I don’t know if there’s any advice I can give you to improve this unfortunate circumstance. All I can say is that you have nice eyes, and you would be the best drinking buddy EVER! I’m not an advocate of plastic surgery, so let’s just try to avoid the beard as an immediate fix.

 

So that was fun! I love the tradition of playoff beards, and it’s always nice to have some fun at their expense. Just ask the guys at Playoffbeard.com.  So let us know what you think!  Do you know of some playoff beards we’ve overlooked, or a new award we should add?  Put ‘em in the comments!

11 thoughts on “The Playoff Beard Awards

  1. Raven, you know the Caps are my boys too, but I’ve never been able to deny myself some Crosby perving.

    He’s definitely lost the boyishness and is growing into a freaking amazing-looking man, but yes, that thing is absolutely creepy, I keep waiting for it to slide off his face, come up to me in a bar on its greasy little legs and ask if I had some Canadian in me. Would I like some? Not only does shaving cream smell amazing (don’t you judge me! Don’t you dare!), I don’t want that gorgeous face covered up. Keep it clean, Kid!

    Cam’s is also gorgeous because it’s full yet in control and sculpts that adorable face. Look, I’ve even put indepth analytical thought into it. Oh God! What am I going to DO after June??!

  2. Laurie I’m so with you! Except on the Sid loving. I’m just not attracted to him, and the fact that he is a Penguin has nothing to do with it. I swear.

    Minda, I was actually going to do a Best Spencer Claus Impersonation for the player who reminded me most of Spencer Pratt. My friends and I call him Spencer Claus when he has the full on blonde beard. He looks like a pervy Santa. lol

  3. Well, now it’s a Pens-Wings rematch – I just hope the Pens trounce them this time and Marian Hossa lays down on the ice and cries his eyes out at his stupid, stupid mistake.

  4. Every time I see Neidermayer in his playoff beard I smile because he reminds me of a younger Red Green.

    I love Sid, but he really needs to give up on the facial hair. It just makes him look like one of those scuzzy/creepy 15 year olds you see smoking behind the grocery store.

  5. At least Patrick Kane actually has a little bit of stubble. Try to find a picture of the Capitals’ Nicklas Backstrom with facial hair. I’m betting that you won’t be able to find one!

    LOL @ Ovie = caveman! He really does. He just needs to get rid of the beard and trim his hair a bit, and he’ll look less caveman-ish.

    I agree that Parros looks like a 70′s porn star. I also think he looks like Rafael Palmeiro…who also looks like a 70′s porn star.

  6. I think sidney’s is kinds cute actually, BUT i hate the playoff beard tradition all togethee. My dad had a habit off sratching my face with it around that time of year and I develloped a fear of it after that.

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